Build Date: Wed Sep 11 11:00:13 2024 UTC
Gazillionaires don't worry about peons.
-- Johnnie Royale
Browse Articles by Author
Everybody's got their favorite Pigdog Professional Journalist. Keep an eye on YOUR favorite's new stuff -- or read up on their back catalog -- by watching their AUTHOR PAGE.
'Tricky' Rick Moen -- It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time
Bill Young -- He's a happenin' d00d!
Brytown -- N/A
Crackmonkey -- This is just a line of text not written by Flesh.
Cynara -- Non Sum Qualis Eram Bonae Sub Regno Cynarae
Daemon Agent -- What a little bitch that Reficul is.
Dkr. Armand Geddyn -- Dobbsian drunk technod0rk
Donkey Hotey -- Pigdog Journal's own mysterious Donkey Hotey channels Ben Franklin.
Dr. Lola T'Pola -- Media scholar and gadfly
Dunkin' Idaho -- I'm a space cowboy. Bet you aren't ready for that.
El Crackhead Grande -- Crazy-ass crackhead!
El Destino -- Krazy -- but true!!!!
El Jefe -- Yo soy un 99 Cent Whopper!
El Snatcher & Ms. BunnyPenny -- Crazy team!!
El Snatcher, Liquor Pig, Mr. Bad & Frankenstein Jones
Ersten Wiles -- Clickbait Editor-in-Chief
Flesh -- ????-2003
Flesh, Master Squid, Baron Earl, El Destino
Frankenstein Jones -- Now more machine than man
Generalissimo Fresh-n-Fruity -- World Conflict Correspondent
Greg Houston with assistance by Tracy Jacobs -- Most Junior Media Correspondent
Landru -- Do you Landru?
Lenny, Thom 'Starky' Stark, Geoffrey, Splicer, Baron, Destino
Miss Conduct -- Putting the 'wo' in woman
Mr. Bad -- Yo soy un pistolero!
Mr. Bad, Arkuat, Thom Stark, and Baron Earl -- The four-headed beast of the apocolypse.
Mr. Bad, Crackmonkey -- A short-lived collaboration.
Ocho Ha! -- PigDog European Coörespondant
Poindexter Fortran -- Poindexter Fortran
Reverend CyberSatan -- CyberSatan ROXXX!
Rob Piltz -- Rob sent us some links. I guess he's OK.
Sean Kennedy -- The man who made mandrills famous!
Sid & Cyn -- Siduri and Cynara
Siduri -- Saeva indignatio! Punk rock!
Steve Dallas, Esq. -- Volenti non fit injuria.
Thom 'Starky' Stark, Lenny Tuberose, 'Tricky' Rick Moen, Destino
Thym Colander -- High Technology Correspondent
Tjames Madison -- like a rolling steel keg rolling on concrete
Uncle Mojo -- Your greatest ally or your worst enemy
Yehat -- Chemical Abuse Correspondent
Young Luke -- He's Young Luke, he's from Canadia, gar gar gar.
binky -- Well, hell. He's BINKY.
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
This is one for the Ages. Our new signature SMRL drink. We beta tested this several weeks ago at the Goat Brothers B-Day Party. Oh my! (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
What do Computers and Skateboards have in Common?
They both sprang from the mind of John Mauchly that's what. (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
