Build Date: Wed May 21 23:40:40 2025 UTC
I want my invisible jet, just like Wonder Woman. Does that make me gay?
-- Dag
Downer Cow
Downer Cow is actually descended from a long line of Canadian gypsies. Her medicine is strong. She has the Sight, and due to an acute presentiment of evil, she can never be deceived or caught off guard. You want her watching your back.
Pigdog Journal Articles
2005-11-26
Do you want to give gifts that stand out? Gifts that can't be mistaken for mall drek? Do you want to give a gift that says "love" and maybe "help!"? Don't fight the Wal-Mart crowds, stay home and make a custom hanty for your special someone.
2005-11-12
Do you suffer from "ADD, blood pressure, stress-related problems, body weight, autism" or aging? Of course you do, and that's why you need the Liquid Indium Supplement from Kornax Enterprises.
2003-06-12
Dear god, people! Can't you see the plain facts? It's SQRATpox I'm telling you! And yes it IS a conspiracy.
2003-05-21
Canadians test sick cow's head after aging it for three (3) months. Surprise! It's your favorite, and certainly mine, BSE. I guess good things come to those who wait. Things had been slow on my beat anyway.
2002-07-20
It's no wonder the women of BC are in a bad way. With the men preferring dogs in panties, and women being barred from the Men with Books club, it's understandable that the ladies are feeling a little insecure. But that's no excuse for turning on each other, girls.
2002-02-18
This is what happens when you live in the bleak and boring hinterland of Canadia: "Hrmm... I need something to do. I think I'll start a cult! Yeah! And then... I'll clone my favorite people! Yeah!! And the cult ladies will bear the foetuses. Tres cool! This should keep me amused until the next thaw, or until our alien masters return."
2002-01-09
Want to get some buddies together to take over the United States? Maybe as a secret club? Well, don't you try it in California buster! We've got laws precicely designed to expose your kind.
2001-10-16
Recommended reading for Californians who breathe or touch things.
Offsite links shared by the author
2002-02-17
2001-12-25
2001-12-23
2001-11-19
2000-06-28
When throwing hundreds of squirrels into a jet engine is OUTLAWED, only OUTLAWS will throw hundreds of squirrels into a jet engine. OK, outlaws, and the DUTCH. They'll keep doing it, too.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
I mixed up this concoction a few weeks ago and can't get it out of my mind. It's green and sweet and delicious and looks great in a clear sports bottle, which won't spill when you pass out on the lawn after drinking the entire bottle through a Crazystraw. (More...)
Canadia Revealed: A Brief Guide to a Large Country
Recently Pigdog has received many letters from readers who are apparently puzzled and upset by our regular coverage of the mysterious nation north of our border, Canadia. (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
Yet another delicious SPOCKTAIL from the SMRL Beverage Science Labs! Check under the cap for your chance to win thousands of fabulous prizes! (More...)
