Build Date: Fri Oct 24 19:11:01 2025 UTC
I sense an excellent opportunity to get senselessly drunk.
-- Head-freezin' Gene
Downer Cow
Downer Cow is actually descended from a long line of Canadian gypsies. Her medicine is strong. She has the Sight, and due to an acute presentiment of evil, she can never be deceived or caught off guard. You want her watching your back.
Pigdog Journal Articles
2005-11-26
Do you want to give gifts that stand out? Gifts that can't be mistaken for mall drek? Do you want to give a gift that says "love" and maybe "help!"? Don't fight the Wal-Mart crowds, stay home and make a custom hanty for your special someone.
2005-11-12
Do you suffer from "ADD, blood pressure, stress-related problems, body weight, autism" or aging? Of course you do, and that's why you need the Liquid Indium Supplement from Kornax Enterprises.
2003-06-12
Dear god, people! Can't you see the plain facts? It's SQRATpox I'm telling you! And yes it IS a conspiracy.
2003-05-21
Canadians test sick cow's head after aging it for three (3) months. Surprise! It's your favorite, and certainly mine, BSE. I guess good things come to those who wait. Things had been slow on my beat anyway.
2002-07-20
It's no wonder the women of BC are in a bad way. With the men preferring dogs in panties, and women being barred from the Men with Books club, it's understandable that the ladies are feeling a little insecure. But that's no excuse for turning on each other, girls.
2002-02-18
This is what happens when you live in the bleak and boring hinterland of Canadia: "Hrmm... I need something to do. I think I'll start a cult! Yeah! And then... I'll clone my favorite people! Yeah!! And the cult ladies will bear the foetuses. Tres cool! This should keep me amused until the next thaw, or until our alien masters return."
2002-01-09
Want to get some buddies together to take over the United States? Maybe as a secret club? Well, don't you try it in California buster! We've got laws precicely designed to expose your kind.
2001-10-16
Recommended reading for Californians who breathe or touch things.
Offsite links shared by the author
2002-02-17
2001-12-25
2001-12-23
2001-11-19
2000-06-28
When throwing hundreds of squirrels into a jet engine is OUTLAWED, only OUTLAWS will throw hundreds of squirrels into a jet engine. OK, outlaws, and the DUTCH. They'll keep doing it, too.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
