Build Date: Tue Oct 22 17:50:24 2024 UTC
I NEED TO CALM DOWN NOW, AND TO MAKE A PLAN. YES. I NEED TO SIT DOWN, AND TO MAKE A PLAN. NOW.
-- Head Freezin' Gene
The Compulsive Splicer
The S to the P to the L-I-C-E!
ALL the fly LADIES wanna get with ME
See my 'do with the goo and my shirt's VERSA-CHEE?
Got the FREAKS on my JOCK cause I makes em HORN-EE!
Yo yo yo yo! Splice Dawg in da HOUSE, bay-bee! Word-up, BOYEEE! Keepin' it real, because that's what Pigdog's all about! I wanna shout out to my homies in the Pigdawg Krew and my Paroxysm Posse, too. Peace out! Selah.
Pigdog Journal Articles
2005-10-19
"Do you believe that the Republicans even control the weather now?"
2003-07-11
Something's happening on Mars, visible with even a small store-bought telescope. But NASA isn't saying what.
2003-07-05
There’s a lot of hullabaloo right now over whether President George W. Bush and his administration lied to the American people about the evidence that Saddam Hussein had or was actively trying to obtain weapons of mass destruction, specifically ABC (Atomic, Biological, or Chemical) weaponry. To this I can only say, "Read his lips: he's a Republican."
2003-06-29
Sometimes fighting someone way bigger is a coward's trick. Case in point: SCO vs IBM. Now Splicer is an outlaw.
2003-03-22
Sometimes we have to see ugliness in order to appreciate the beauty. Or is it that only by seeing beauty can we know horror?
2003-01-02
This is about the damn funnest website I've come across all year. Granted, it's only the second of January, but it's still pretty damn fun in its way.
2002-10-03
Of course the media can be trusted to tell you what you believe.
2002-04-23
Over the past few weeks the Israeli press and government spokespeople have repeatedly reminded the world of the parallels between Europe of the 1930s and the modern Western world.
2002-04-19
Wait, isn't that out of order?
2002-01-05
This fascinating article from the 1883 Chambers's Encyclopedia provides a snapshot of late nineteenth-century British fascination with things American.
2001-12-23
After playing the heavy on piracy issues all over the place, Adobe has been barred from distributing or selling InDesign 1.5 because it contains.... unlicensed software!
2001-12-22
You can't live in—or even visit—San Francisco without seeing a large pyramid-like building in the skyline. Many don't know that it's actually a Catholic cathedral. But even fewer suspect the source of this building's power: RAW FEMALE SEXUALITY.
2001-11-22
Just what you wanted to know: roaches have been on this planet since way before the dinosaurs.
2001-11-21
Kaiser denied me health insurance. Bring on the cascading bummers!
2001-11-16
Pigdog Journal Computers have passed the milestone of 10 years of CPU time working on the SETI at Home project at UC Berkeley.
2001-09-12
It was one thing hearing that the astronauts on the Space Station could see the smoke plume from yesterday's attack on the World Trade Center. It's another to see the photos.
2001-09-07
Here's a challenge: this site is looking for creative minds to make images using nothing but MS Paint.
2001-08-25
Back in the glory days of Silicon Valley, you couldn't be a libertarian hacker without owning a pair of Chi-Pants. Unfortunately, Loma Prieta took out the business and we've all had to wear uncomfortable, restrictive pants since then. Until now!
2001-06-19
Apple's deep dark secret: churchofsatan.com was made with a Macintosh! My goodness, can you really build Web sites with a Mac?
2000-11-08
The Presidential election this year has shown us one of the biggest flaws in our political system. Any third-grader can tell you that the electoral college is a stupid idea. Now it will bring us a President who won fewer votes than his opponent.
2000-10-23
For some time it may have seemed as though it were Pigdog Journal editorial policy that Canadia is Bad. Considering that this is the Online Handbook for Bad People of the Future, some of us aren't sure if that's a Bad thing. Or a Good thing. Or... whatever.
2000-09-15
I'm so proud of my almost-kinda home town of Branford, CT. They've found the best way to combat the encroachment of corporate chains into a small town—an act of God.
2000-09-14
These brave entrepreneurs have cornered an e-commerce market niche I never would have dreamed of.
2000-09-14
Disregarding the law is all well and good, but you know, sometimes common sense should tell you to just read the signs, you know?
2000-06-24
Egyptological "conventional wisdom" says that the Sphinx was built by the same folks that brought you the pyramids. Not everyone agrees.
2000-06-24
Remember back in like 1980 when some little girl in Maine wrote a letter to Leonid Brezhnev asking him to help end the Cold War? This is nothing like that.
2000-06-22
Won't the Ameager ever DIE???
2000-06-22
This guy has three "dream girls" that say that they'll have sex with him if his website gets enough hits.
2000-06-05
The life of Phillip Katz, the creator of PKZip, has come to an unfortunate premature end.
2000-06-05
Ghost hunters are alive and well and posting their pictures on the Squirreled Wide Web.
2000-06-05
Oooh.... so there's a scary Gnutella worm out there giving nasty warning messages to Gnutella users. Eeeek! Scary virus like software makes me afraid to turn on my computer!
2000-06-03
Divers off the shore of Egypt have found the ruins of a city under 20 feet of water.
2000-05-05
Now this is something I never thought I'd live to see: porno typography!
2000-03-27
We just can't do ANYTHING anymore.
2000-02-26
Are you aware that there is another form of life on this planet that's more powerful than humanity and which is looking to enslave us? They walk in our midst without our knowledge and they corrupt our minds with our permission! This next step in human evolution already controls most of the governments of the world and has been instrumental in overthrowing the governments that have resisted their influence. You have a chance to open your eyes to the coming invasion of... homo corporatem!
1999-12-06
Yup, some good-old fashioned New England astronomers picked out a naked-eye visible nova a few days back. So what if some guy in Portugal saw it first? Well, at least it's not a comet heading this way.
1999-09-06
Sun Microsystems has purchased black horse software maker Star Division and is giving StarOffice away for free with the source.
1999-09-05
Pigdog has been uncharacteristically quiet lately. The regular voices that keep the site abuzz have fallen still. Where are the erstwhile champions of free speech? Normally it's hard to get them to shut up.
1999-08-16
Here's the story of a guy who jumped off a roof for art. It's not really a new story, but it might be NEW TO YOU!
1999-08-16
Hey, the ampersand is pretty cool & shit, no doubt. It was only a matter of time before someone devoted some valuable Web real estate to this venerable typographic entity.
1999-08-15
After a five-year gap since the release of PC-DOS 7, IBM has announced the next release of the venerable Disk Operating System. These guys just don't know when to quit.
1999-07-08
Are you cool? Are you unique and individual like the rest of us are?
1999-07-06
Bored with your plain old beige keyboard and don't have a schmancy seekret black one? Someone else was too, except he had too much time on his hands and got a bit carried away...
1999-07-06
Not "verbal" as in spoken, though. This guy has some interesting ideas on how to improve calculators.
1999-07-06
Defend your right to free expression by converting your Model M keyboard to the Dvorak simplified layout! PIGDOG JOURNAL shows you how with step-by-step instructions.
1999-06-25
There's a bunch of people up in the hills of Vermont who build their own telescopes so they can look at the stars. If that's not genuine cyberbilly, I don't know what is.
1999-06-23
Bad People of the Future look up! Your action hero is here!
1999-06-22
Yeah, there's scads of UFO nuts out there, but this one's a Buddhist priest, and she's got proof! All that and a letter from the Vice-President.
1999-06-22
Flying Saucers! Government Spies! Commie traitors! Giant killer bees! Romance! Adventure! This one's got 'em all, babie.
Okay, I was kidding about the giant killer bees.
1999-06-20
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL.
1999-05-14
So you wanna be a Bad Person of the Future? Well, we can't make you shift your time frame, but you do have a special opportunity to make yourself BAD. That's right.
1999-03-22
There are some bad people out there, and I don't mean bad in a good way, who think their band will sell more records if it's featured on a web page with a picture of a fetus jamming on guitar.
Offsite links shared by the author
2000-09-07
Kiwis have greater tolerance for humor in their dog food.
2000-06-01
2000-05-19
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)
