Build Date: Sun Mar 23 04:50:22 2025 UTC
Goddamn swamp dwelling, WebTV-using, OS/2 licking, dogshit gobbling hillbilly motherfucker!!
-- Ratsnatcher
El Destino
Trapped on a hostile planet, El Destino travels through time, searching for another host body while wandering mysteries of culture, sex, and that cyber-funken-groove. Join him for a Love Boat cruise to hell!
Pigdog Journal Articles
2024-08-14
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk...
2024-07-26
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet.
2023-08-01
Last week was the anniversary of the last time Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin appeared as an act. 67 years ago, as the show ended at New York's Copacabana Club, "Dean threw his arm around Jerry, pulled him toward him, hugged him," remembers one biographer. "The joint was in an uproar. It was the biggest night in the club's history.
"There was no encore. Dean took one aisle away from the stage, Jerry took another."
2022-04-20
You've heard the song, which introduced millions to Hawaiian music legend Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. He'd posthumously shot to fame after his famous 'ukulele version of "Over the Rainbow" began turning up in ads and movie soundtracks, prompting curious music lovers to wonder, who is that singer?
Years later, a music journalist explored exactly what happened...
2021-10-23
"Grandpa, tell us what TV was like half a century ago?"
"Well, sometimes things got really weird...."
2021-10-04
You know him as the Disney child actor who shot Ol' Yeller and turned into The Shaggy Dog. On the Mickey Mouse Club, he'd played one of The Hardy Boys. But in 1950s Disney America, Tommy Kirk had a mysterious secret all his own. He was gay.
2020-03-31
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor!
2020-03-27
Celebrity havin' fun -- specifically, Ben Folds. You know him as that guy who sang Rockin' the Suburbs (and then re-recorded it with a spoken word solo by William Shatner) -- plus a lot of other terrific songs that most people have never heard of. But I'll always remember him for this incredible series of epic video phone call pranks...
2020-01-21
After closing its Palo Alto store, another Fry's Electronics just closed in Georgia. And even more upheaval may be coming -- this time in the heart of Silicon Valley at another Maya-themed store in San Jose.
2019-07-04
You hear about reckless drone pilots all the time. But this one takes recklessness to a whole new level.
2017-12-15
Because Pigdog.org is entering OUR 20TH YEAR! And because the world is even MORE BATSHIT CRAZY than ever! We're announcing the glorious return of our most sacred tradition: the Pigdog Journal Christmas Essay Contest.
2017-05-18
I have a theory that President Trump wants to be impeached. Maybe it's a desperate cry for help...
2017-04-27
"Don't Worry, Driverless Cars Are Learning From Grand Theft Auto!" read a headline at Bloomberg News. And soon an urban legend took root. "Major companies such as Ford and Waymo have been using the game to teach their developing technology how to react in thousands of different driving situations," reports the British tabloid The Sun. There's just one problem with this story: it's not true.
2017-03-27
So Amazon sells this button you can put in your house, and every time you press it you buy something from Amazon. No, not a random something -- although that'd be pretty cool. ("What? The Necronomicon?! Aw, I was hoping for a giant horse-head mask...") Instead the Dash button buys you whatever's written on the button. You know, like Doritos. Which of course raises some very important questions for potheads...
2017-03-11
I was browsing through the auto parts at OReillyAuto.com, when I stumbled across a listing for a flux capacitor. "Plutonium is required to properly operate," warns its description. It also adds that plutonium is "not Available at O'Reilly Auto Parts."
2015-10-06
The first thing he did was thank Craigslist "for sponsoring me these last few years". On October 5th, 2015 Larry Wall addressed a crowd of geeks at San Francisco's Exploratorium, saying he couldn't properly express his gratitude to Craigslist. Then he acknowledged how long the development arc had been for Perl 6. "As the old joke goes, Perl 6 is coming out this Christmas." Only this time, he meant it.
2011-03-21
Choice one: unite with earth's Mightiest Heroes to fight the evil-est super villains. Choice two: lurk in a shower to voyeuristically peep on Ms. Marvel as she's soaping up her naked superhero body.
2006-07-22
If you accidentally typed "Kim Rollins" into Google, you'd find an Amazon web page which now includes "Kim and George's wedding registry!"
2006-07-04
Devo re-recorded 10 of their tracks with cute Disney kids singing vocals. Are they destroying Disney from within - or is it the ultimate corporate sell-out?
2004-08-23
2003-04-21
Remember Mahir Cagri? The anonymous Turkish doofus who welcomed women to his home page saying "I Kiss you! Who is want to come TURKEY I can invitate ..... She can stay my home ........" It's four years later, and his new web site -- IKissYou.org -- has apparently been offlined by radical censors at a Turkish ISP.
2002-02-06
So supermarket tabloid the Weekly World News closed their online edition. Why? "We would like you to buy the paper at least one stinking week out of the year."
2002-02-01
This time the Florida girl gone wild had apparently decided to knock over a Penney's, or at least snatch some underwear. In 1995 "Noell Bush" was caught, arrested, and sentenced to a $305 fine. The person arrested attended a boarding school where it's been confirmed that, yes, the governor's daughter was enrolled. "Noell" even has the same name and birthdate.
2002-01-25
Meow! Techno music. Meow! Techno music. "Eat the cat head! Eat the cat head!" It's the sickest game ever....
2002-01-24
Heroin! Pot! And Jerry Lee Lewis! This campy 50s movie turns your VCR into a drive-in....
2002-01-21
"This is Deborah with the Nielsen TV ratings service," the cheery voice on the phone said. Viewers across America were about to be represented by a degenerate freak like me...
2002-01-18
An angry mob of 10,000 converged on a Las Vegas casino. And then things got ugly.
2002-01-08
Steve Jobs! Singing grapes! Dr. Ruth Westheimer! Angry coffee! Ready for another surreal jumble of music and images?
2002-01-06
"Them thar Tootsie Rolls sure put steam inta yer muscles, don't they?" It's time for another round of stupid comic books ads lovingly critiqued by the wise guys at SeanBaby.com.
2002-01-05
Osama bin Laden in Western clothes? That's only the first step.
2002-01-03
You're a Republican running for Lieutenant Governor of California. Your opponent whips out a porn film for which you wrote the friggin' music.
2001-12-25
Beaujolais and Meli Kalikimaka! The Pigdog Journal Fourth Annual Christmas Essay Contest is OVER, and you are MOMENTS AWAY from reading the GRAND PRIZE WINNING ESSAY! Destined (ha ha) to be a holiday classic for years and years and years and years to come!
2001-12-10
The new Ocean's 11 doesn't suck. There. I said it.
2001-12-04
She posed naked on the web, fought for pornography online, and even kept an online "Diary of a Virtual Girlfriend." But after earning a place in internet history, Bernadette Taylor vanished without a trace.
2001-11-24
2001-11-14
"We are the French revival of Gonzo Journalism !" their self-promoting email read. "Would you agree on a link exchange ?"
2001-11-07
Spider-Man, Captain America, and BatGirl have something in common. They all fought crime using delicious Hostess Fruit Pies®. Now SeanBaby.com has tracked down an executive at D.C. Comics who worked on the notorious 70s junk food ad campaign.
2001-11-01
Giraffes, rabbits, and dipshits. The beloved internet photo-comic Leisuretown is back -- in a big way!
2001-11-01
The alien! The flower! The beatnik! All your favorite characters from the daily web comic JerkCity are still going strong. But now JerkCity 2.0 is on its way!
2001-10-06
72 naked women; one cat. Do I have to tell you how disturbing this is?
2001-09-28
Stopping occassionally for hot dogs, Australlia's richest man dumped $60 million in a Vegas casino last week.
2001-09-11
The attack on the World Trade Center triggered shut-downs across the nation. Airports, stock exchanges -- and even broadcasts from the web site The Naked News.
2001-08-19
Is Kim Rollins playing the personals? "She's got an ad up at the Salon/Nerve personals," one Washington-based Pigdog reader claims.
2001-08-08
You can't have political dissent without a MIDI playing Devo's "Whip It." See George W. Bush! Dancing! In a tutu! In blue boxer shorts!
2001-06-17
She's skinny, she's sassy, and everyone's watching her. Today avid Pigdog Journal readers came forward with racy sightings of Seattle's favorite former web diarist.
2001-05-28
You can learn alot about World War II from movies. Apparently Hitler's number one enemy was Daffy Duck, whose efforts at collecting scrap iron were destablizing the Axis.
2001-05-17
Otters! The latest in a string of bizarre and unexplained attacks rocks humankind. From Florida to Romania, one word is striking terror in the hearts of humans everywhere. Otters! Otters!
2001-04-15
China, spy plane, blah blah blah. Is there anywhere you can get a fresh perspective?
2001-04-06
It's Pee-Wee Herman! A singing airplane! George W. Bush! A dangerous pace-maker! The internet is buzzing over an incongruous Shockwave video sung entirely in Japanese...
2001-02-15
Elvis had a vision during a cross-country road trip in 1964. Driving to Hollywood from his Tennessee Graceland mansion, Elvis looked into the clouds and saw the face of Stalin.
2001-01-30
Kim Rollins has changed her marital status. From "single and looking" to just "single." That's one of many insights gleaned from two personal ads the internet celebrity posted online in November....
2001-01-29
It's been two years since Pigdog Journal initiated ongoing coverage of daily crises in the life of Wil Shipley. The software executive posted 51 frantic essays over a 10-week period documenting the end of his nine-year relationship with web celebrity Kim Rollins. Shipley has now posted an update...
2001-01-26
Corporate America wants to insult your intelligence. "Hey, rube! Wanna buy a barking spoon?"
2001-01-24
15,000 angry Americans protested the Bush inaugural cermonies, just in San Francisco, the local paper reported. Six Pigdog Journal staffers were on the scene...
2001-01-11
A state representative is also running the web site SheWantsItBad.Net. It's Tom Alciere, the New Hampshire legislator who said killing cops was OK if they'd crossed a line.
2000-12-02
It's winter in Idaho, and Boise personality "Lego-Man" reports on how he celebrated Thanksgiving. "I fed my wife, mother and sister wine slurpies!"
2000-11-15
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world.
2000-09-09
Lego fetish? A twisted man spends seven months building animals out of Legos. But not just animals -- 14-foot long animals. And, of course -- Natalie Portman.
2000-09-01
Geronimo's skull was stolen by George Bush's father. An Apache chief, seeking to return the warrior's remains to an Arizona reservation, received a tip from a mole in the secret society.
2000-08-20
"Sit and watch only ATN," came the command. A Russian TV network hid those words in every 25th frame of their advertisements...
2000-08-07
Spinal Tap faced many challenges during their life on the road -- a drummer that spontaneously exploded, second billing to an amusement park puppet show, and a 30-inch Stonehenge replica that was always in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. Now the faux band, reuniting for the DVD release of their mockumentary "This is Spinal Tap," has recorded an interview voicing their opinion about Napster.
2000-07-24
Burning Man attendees pass through Gerlach, Nevada -- a mysterious small town where everything is owned by a man named Bruno. Crazy Berkeley geeks simulated a 360 panorama using Virtual Reality technology!
2000-06-30
Two New York dominatrixes flogged a fiberglass cow in New York City. The cow -- which cost $10,000 -- stands at the center of a raging controversy...and a big lawsuit.
2000-06-28
Yahoo's interface has always lacked one thing: mandatory MIDI music in the background. One webmaster had a dream to change all that... Here's his crazy story.
2000-06-16
21st century technology transforms the world of dental hygiene, as unsuspecting users find they've purchased not just an electic toothbrush -- but the InterPlak RTB2.
2000-06-14
Neatness is for anal-retentive assholes. This is Pigdog!
But how can I recreate my crazed scrawls with a word processing program? This web page has the answer...
2000-06-08
The internet celebrates the DOJ's decision against Microsoft -- by re-reading Bill Gates' 1998 testimony!
2000-05-25
"My name is Banks. Agent Banks.
"My body is only six inches wide, but my eerie pupil-less blue eyes were paid for by your tax dollars..."
2000-04-14
Sick of government buttinski's blaming the internet for everything? Check out these cool ads plugging super-violent toys from the 50s and early 60s!
2000-04-12
As civilization atrophies, insanity grips even the bastion of saccharine consumer greeting cards. The fear and paranoia that greets tax day shifts the zeitgeist into a dark, destructive funk. And instinctively, on some deep, primal level, Hallmark begins reflecting the mounting despair with a series of web postcards catering to the cathartic release that can only come from seeing shit fucked up.
2000-04-11
"Welcome to Fruity Gum," it says above the web browser's address bar. The "back" and "forward" buttons are red and white squares that look like Chiclets. And the icon loading the bookmark file is an orange circle with yellow arrows pointing in all directions, over a purple-and-red honeycomb pattern.
2000-04-10
We all use Canadian English every day: when we order a pizza "all-dressed", hope to get a "seat sale" to go south during "March break", or "book off" work to meet with a "CGA" to discuss "RRSPs." The above jibberish comes from a web page promoting the "Canadian Oxford Dictionary," an attempt to subvert our cherished English language with stupid -- and sometimes perverted -- Canadian-isms.
2000-03-03
A 350-pound man is tied, naked and spread-eagled, to the roof of a Ford Explorer.
It's just another commute in North Carolina.
1999-07-06
Is Wil Shipley re-uniting with Kim Rollins? A rumor emerges to fan the flames of Kim Rollins-watchers everywhere. Tuesday night, someone calling him/herself "Not Telling" (ainttelling@hotmail.com) contacted Pigdog with unverified -- yet tantalizing -- reports on the latest possible development...
1999-06-21
Defending Boise as "Mayberry for computer geeks," noted Boise personality "Lego-Man" recently purchased a 1969 BMW his brother spotted "sitting out in the farmer's back forty."
1999-04-22
Internet Personality "Weird Richard," the self proclaimed "Lego King" threw his hat into the "beat Microsoft" ring today.
1999-01-22
Stunned readers mulled the possible end of Wil Shipley's journal by pondering cherished moments from entries past.
1999-01-22
In an entry titled "Journal Ends" Wil Shipley abandoned his ongoing journal, "Scab."
1999-01-12
Despite the lack of new information about Kim Rollins, OmniGroup President and Founder Wil Shipley posted his 47th essay since November 15 documenting his recovery from the end of their nine-year relationship. But some readers aren't satisfied with Shipley's side of the story....
1999-01-09
Cranks attack Parade Magazine! Which side are you rooting for?
1999-01-09
Y2K Hysteria reaches new highs! El Destino's credit union created Y2K Man to re-assure customers.
1999-01-09
Microsoft's anti-trust trial found experts warning the judge of "A Microsoft World." Duh! El Destino spells it out for the judge with the inevitable Disneyland song parody
1999-01-08
Drugs! AOL? E-commerce just got more interesting, says El Destino.....
1999-01-07
An open letter the Lego Company from Mr. Lego-Man himself.
1999-01-07
The BBC reports protesting flight attendants may adopt a radical measure to increase pressure on management. Their new tactic? They'll stop smiling at passengers for one hour each flight.
1999-01-07
Everyone reveres the Mining Company -- the great internet start-up that bottled SlashDot's formula and sold it wholesale. But things are not always what they seem. New evidence suggests The Mining Company is an evil scam, like sixdegrees.com and the Free Masons.
1998-12-24
Wil Shipley, online diarist beloved by millions, has changed the name of his journal from the pain-induced "Ouch" to the gently-healing "Scab". El Destino, as usual, has TOTAL COVERAGE.
1998-12-14
Wil Shipley posted his own top ten list. "Top 10 Pickup Lines I've Had No Luck With So Far."
1998-12-07
"I got a prescription for a bunch more pills." In an essay titled "More Drugs," OmniGroup President and founder Wil Shipley reports enthusiastically on his struggle for mental health. "I'd push my own mother in front of a train to keep taking Zoloft," Shipley jokes...
1998-12-01
OmniGroup president and founder Wil Shipley reports he is able to go longer without relieving himself. "Today, when I went to pick up Karawynn, I didn't stop in the men's room or even think about it," Shipley reports in an on-line essay.
1998-11-27
"I went to Thanksgiving at Britta and Kevin's, but I was a zombie," OmniGroup president and founder Wil Shipley writes. In an on-line essay, Shipley chronicles how his break-up with net-celebrity Kim Rollins has complicated his holiday celebrations -- also sharing memories of the evening before Thanksgiving. "In the middle of reading the paper I broke down and started crying again...." Shipley reports that "I went upstairs and had a good cry, then read for a while." Shipley's prescription for the anti-depressant Zoloft has now been doubled.
1998-11-24
Rumors of a mega-deal between AOL, Netscape, and Sun worried advocates of the Open-Source Software movement. "We are interested in finding out how AOL will deal with Netscape's plans for support of its browser as an open source product that can be freely distributed, and which is supported on multiple OS platforms..." commented Jamie Love, director of the Washington, D.C.-based Consumer Project on Technology, on an Internet-protocol mailing list.
1998-11-23
Sunday Omni Development founder and president Wil Shipley confronted the turbulent aftermath of his break-up with net-celebrity Kim Rollins by facing the legacy of the "little piece of her inside me."
1998-11-22
Omni Development president Wil Shipley finds the most difficult part of his break-up with net-celebrity Kim Rollins is her unavailability for conversation. Shipley expressed surprise in an on-line essay. "I always assumed that the hardest thing would be the no sex...."
1998-11-20
(PIGDOG BREAKING) Omni Development founder and president Wil Shipley had a haircut Thursday -- and successfully ate half a banana.
1998-11-19
A police officer visited a Seattle-area hotel after Omni Development founder and president Wil Shipley paid an unexpected call on ex-girlfriend Kim Rollins. The policeman's visit culminated an ongoing series of humiliations for the Omni Group founder...
1998-11-17
500 regular visitors to Kim Rollins's on-line journal Tuesday found instead a link to an essay titled "Ouch" written by her ex-boyfriend Wil Shipley -- the founder and president of Omni Development, Inc. A series of pages ultimately led readers to a document posted at 12:37 Tuesday offering Shipley's version of their relationship's final days. "[S]he ran off to Portland for a sex weekend...." The bitter Omnigroup founder in fact uses the phrase "sex weekend" three times to describe Kim's meeting with the man for whom she ultimately abandoned her nine-year relationship in Seattle. Shipley reflects on Kim's preparations with irony. "I guess she felt too guilty to take the chocolate I gave her...." (SEE LINKS IN FULL STORY!)
1998-11-16
At first I thought it was a fake suicide note. "By the time you read this, it's already too late. I'm in my car, or perhaps I've already arrived at my destination; but at any rate, I'm not here and won't be again." It's very real--but she only killed her old self. The last entry in Kim Rollins' on-line journal - - written November 12, but posted at 12:18 today -- tells us she's left her boyfriend of nine years, and headed "south."
1998-11-16
Salon's doing a story on how the "Sally Jesse Raphael Show" is facing a lawsuit for hundreds of millions of dollars for allegedly "recruiting" a 15-year-old runaway to pose as a prostitute.
Offsite links shared by the author
2025-02-01
2025-01-11
2024-10-17
JD Vance adviser posted on Reddit for years about use of cocaine, ‘gas station heroin,’ other drugs
2024-10-02
2024-01-22
2023-03-17
2022-12-16
The "California Christmas" song (from the show "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend")
2022-05-08
2021-12-18
2021-04-12
2021-01-08
2020-11-13
2020-06-19
2020-03-24
2019-12-10
"The information did not meet our expectations, so we made it up, preying on the vulnerable and feeding the prejudices and fears of Jones’s audience. We ignored certain facts, fabricated others and took situations out of context to fit our narrative..."
2019-03-23
2018-09-29
2018-02-23
2017-12-28
2017-12-22
2011-03-07
2006-07-22
The Naked News' Victoria Sinclair gets a Wikipedia entry.
2002-02-05
2002-01-18
2002-01-14
2002-01-07
2002-01-04
The Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield
2001-12-17
2001-12-16
2001-11-28
2001-11-25
2001-11-23
2001-11-15
2001-11-09
2001-11-02
2001-11-01
2001-10-17
2001-09-29
2001-09-06
2001-08-28
2001-08-08
2001-08-06
2001-08-06
2001-07-30
2001-07-30
2001-07-25
2001-07-12
2001-07-11
2001-07-06
2001-07-05
2001-06-27
2001-06-15
2001-06-06
2001-05-25
2001-05-24
2001-05-17
2001-05-14
2001-05-07
2001-05-07
2001-04-26
2001-04-17
2001-04-17
2001-04-10
2001-04-04
2001-04-03
2001-03-30
2001-03-26
2001-03-18
2001-03-17
2001-03-10
2001-03-07
2001-03-06
2001-03-05
2001-03-05
2001-03-05
2001-03-03
2001-03-01
2001-02-17
2001-02-15
2001-02-10
2001-02-02
2001-01-29
2001-01-24
2001-01-22
2001-01-01
2000-12-11
2000-12-08
2000-12-02
2000-11-11
2000-11-06
2000-10-02
2000-10-01
2000-09-26
2000-09-19
2000-09-15
2000-09-15
2000-09-05
2000-09-04
2000-08-22
2000-08-22
2000-08-20
2000-08-17
2000-08-17
2000-07-21
2000-07-17
2000-07-08
2000-07-03
2000-06-27
2000-06-22
2000-06-16
2000-05-23
2000-05-07
2000-04-27
2000-04-27
2000-04-25
2000-04-23
2000-04-14
2000-04-10
2000-04-10
2000-02-28
2000-01-04
2000-01-01
1999-12-25
1999-07-07
Evil ad-installer hidden in BIOS
1999-06-11
1999-06-11
T O P S T O R I E S
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Tastes like key lime pie, gets you hammered like nobody's business: Introducing the Key Lime Spocktail! (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
From the mixed up files of citizen 566-77-0776 (More...)
