Build Date: Thu Feb 22 07:50:29 2024 UTC

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
-- HST

El Destino

Krazy -- but true!!!!

Trapped on a hostile planet, El Destino travels through time, searching for another host body while wandering mysteries of culture, sex, and that cyber-funken-groove. Join him for a Love Boat cruise to hell!

Pigdog Journal Articles

2023-08-01

When Martin Left Lewis
Last week was the anniversary of the last time Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin appeared as an act. 67 years ago, as the show ended at New York's Copacabana Club, "Dean threw his arm around Jerry, pulled him toward him, hugged him," remembers one biographer. "The joint was in an uproar. It was the biggest night in the club's history.

"There was no encore. Dean took one aisle away from the stage, Jerry took another."

2022-04-20

Record Studio Admits It: Napster Was Awesome
You've heard the song, which introduced millions to Hawaiian music legend Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. He'd posthumously shot to fame after his famous 'ukulele version of "Over the Rainbow" began turning up in ads and movie soundtracks, prompting curious music lovers to wonder, who is that singer?

Years later, a music journalist explored exactly what happened...

2021-10-23

It's Saturday Morning. Watch Some Half-Century Old Cartoons
"Grandpa, tell us what TV was like half a century ago?"

"Well, sometimes things got really weird...."

2021-10-04

Remembering 'Troubled' Former Disney Star Tommy Kirk
You know him as the Disney child actor who shot Ol' Yeller and turned into The Shaggy Dog. On the Mickey Mouse Club, he'd played one of The Hardy Boys. But in 1950s Disney America, Tommy Kirk had a mysterious secret all his own. He was gay.

2020-03-31

A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor!

2020-03-27

The Most Epic Video Call Prank Ever
Celebrity havin' fun -- specifically, Ben Folds. You know him as that guy who sang Rockin' the Suburbs (and then re-recorded it with a spoken word solo by William Shatner) -- plus a lot of other terrific songs that most people have never heard of. But I'll always remember him for this incredible series of epic video phone call pranks...

2020-01-21

More Trouble For Fry's Electronics
After closing its Palo Alto store, another Fry's Electronics just closed in Georgia. And even more upheaval may be coming -- this time in the heart of Silicon Valley at another Maya-themed store in San Jose.

2019-07-04

Dangerous Drone Do's and Don'ts
You hear about reckless drone pilots all the time. But this one takes recklessness to a whole new level.

2017-12-15

PIGDOG JOURNAL CHRISTMAS ESSAY CONTEST - 20TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION!
Because Pigdog.org is entering OUR 20TH YEAR! And because the world is even MORE BATSHIT CRAZY than ever! We're announcing the glorious return of our most sacred tradition: the Pigdog Journal Christmas Essay Contest.

2017-05-18

The One Trump Conspiracy That Will Explain Everything
I have a theory that President Trump wants to be impeached. Maybe it's a desperate cry for help...

2017-04-27

No, Google Isn't Using Grand Theft Auto To Train Self-Driving Cars
"Don't Worry, Driverless Cars Are Learning From Grand Theft Auto!" read a headline at Bloomberg News. And soon an urban legend took root. "Major companies such as Ford and Waymo have been using the game to teach their developing technology how to react in thousands of different driving situations," reports the British tabloid The Sun. There's just one problem with this story: it's not true.

2017-03-27

Amazon's 'Dash' Button For Doritos Panned By Potheads
So Amazon sells this button you can put in your house, and every time you press it you buy something from Amazon. No, not a random something -- although that'd be pretty cool. ("What? The Necronomicon?! Aw, I was hoping for a giant horse-head mask...") Instead the Dash button buys you whatever's written on the button. You know, like Doritos. Which of course raises some very important questions for potheads...

2017-03-11

O'Reilly Auto's Site Now Sells Parts For Time Machines
I was browsing through the auto parts at OReillyAuto.com, when I stumbled across a listing for a flux capacitor. "Plutonium is required to properly operate," warns its description. It also adds that plutonium is "not Available at O'Reilly Auto Parts."

2015-10-06

Larry Wall Unveils Perl 6.0.0
The first thing he did was thank Craigslist "for sponsoring me these last few years". On October 5th, 2015 Larry Wall addressed a crowd of geeks at San Francisco's Exploratorium, saying he couldn't properly express his gratitude to Craigslist. Then he acknowledged how long the development arc had been for Perl 6. "As the old joke goes, Perl 6 is coming out this Christmas." Only this time, he meant it.

2011-03-21

Is Ant-Man a Voyeur in Marvel Comics?
Choice one: unite with earth's Mightiest Heroes to fight the evil-est super villains. Choice two: lurk in a shower to voyeuristically peep on Ms. Marvel as she's soaping up her naked superhero body.

2006-07-22

Kim Rollins is (not) getting married!
If you accidentally typed "Kim Rollins" into Google, you'd find an Amazon web page which now includes "Kim and George's wedding registry!"

2006-07-04

Devo + Disney
Devo re-recorded 10 of their tracks with cute Disney kids singing vocals. Are they destroying Disney from within - or is it the ultimate corporate sell-out?

2003-04-21

"I Kiss You!" guy censored by Turkish ISP?
Remember Mahir Cagri? The anonymous Turkish doofus who welcomed women to his home page saying "I Kiss you! Who is want to come TURKEY I can invitate ..... She can stay my home ........" It's four years later, and his new web site -- IKissYou.org -- has apparently been offlined by radical censors at a Turkish ISP.

2002-02-06

The Weekly World News Hates You
So supermarket tabloid the Weekly World News closed their online edition. Why? "We would like you to buy the paper at least one stinking week out of the year."

2002-02-01

Noelle Snatched Underwear?
This time the Florida girl gone wild had apparently decided to knock over a Penney's, or at least snatch some underwear. In 1995 "Noell Bush" was caught, arrested, and sentenced to a $305 fine. The person arrested attended a boarding school where it's been confirmed that, yes, the governor's daughter was enrolled. "Noell" even has the same name and birthdate.

2002-01-25

Psycho Techno Hypno Kitten Snake
Meow! Techno music. Meow! Techno music. "Eat the cat head! Eat the cat head!" It's the sickest game ever....

2002-01-24

High School Confidential
Heroin! Pot! And Jerry Lee Lewis! This campy 50s movie turns your VCR into a drive-in....

2002-01-21

El Destino versus the Nielsens
"This is Deborah with the Nielsen TV ratings service," the cheery voice on the phone said. Viewers across America were about to be represented by a degenerate freak like me...

2002-01-18

"Come on Down. No wait -- don't! Ayeeeee!!!!!"
An angry mob of 10,000 converged on a Las Vegas casino. And then things got ugly.

2002-01-08

Wacky web-animation -- and Dave Thomas
Steve Jobs! Singing grapes! Dr. Ruth Westheimer! Angry coffee! Ready for another surreal jumble of music and images?

2002-01-06

Seanbaby vs. "Captain Tootsie"
"Them thar Tootsie Rolls sure put steam inta yer muscles, don't they?" It's time for another round of stupid comic books ads lovingly critiqued by the wise guys at SeanBaby.com.

2002-01-05

Leisure Suit Osama
Osama bin Laden in Western clothes? That's only the first step.

2002-01-03

"Mr. Clean" and the porn film
You're a Republican running for Lieutenant Governor of California. Your opponent whips out a porn film for which you wrote the friggin' music.

2001-12-25

Pigdog Journal Fourth Annual Christmas Essay Contest GRAND PRIZE WINNER ESSAY
Beaujolais and Meli Kalikimaka! The Pigdog Journal Fourth Annual Christmas Essay Contest is OVER, and you are MOMENTS AWAY from reading the GRAND PRIZE WINNING ESSAY! Destined (ha ha) to be a holiday classic for years and years and years and years to come!

2001-12-10

Ocean's 11 -- George Clooney vs. the Rat Pack
The new Ocean's 11 doesn't suck. There. I said it.

2001-12-04

Naked Australian Redhead -- Missing!
She posed naked on the web, fought for pornography online, and even kept an online "Diary of a Virtual Girlfriend." But after earning a place in internet history, Bernadette Taylor vanished without a trace.

2001-11-24

Sex Crimes of the X-Men
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I."

2001-11-14

French gonzo wannabes -- and a clown
"We are the French revival of Gonzo Journalism !" their self-promoting email read. "Would you agree on a link exchange ?"

2001-11-07

Superheros, Twinkies, and Seanbaby's interview with D.C. Comics
Spider-Man, Captain America, and BatGirl have something in common. They all fought crime using delicious Hostess Fruit Pies®. Now SeanBaby.com has tracked down an executive at D.C. Comics who worked on the notorious 70s junk food ad campaign.

2001-11-01

New Leisuretown!
Giraffes, rabbits, and dipshits. The beloved internet photo-comic Leisuretown is back -- in a big way!

2001-11-01

JerkCity 2.0 is coming!!!
The alien! The flower! The beatnik! All your favorite characters from the daily web comic JerkCity are still going strong. But now JerkCity 2.0 is on its way!

2001-10-06

Naked with a Cat
72 naked women; one cat. Do I have to tell you how disturbing this is?

2001-09-28

Vegas hosts $60 million loser -- plus four hijackers
Stopping occassionally for hot dogs, Australlia's richest man dumped $60 million in a Vegas casino last week.

2001-09-11

Naked News-caster wears black
The attack on the World Trade Center triggered shut-downs across the nation. Airports, stock exchanges -- and even broadcasts from the web site The Naked News.

2001-08-19

Seattle Heart-Breaker Seeks Single Male...
Is Kim Rollins playing the personals? "She's got an ad up at the Salon/Nerve personals," one Washington-based Pigdog reader claims.

2001-08-08

George W. Bush Confronts Online Insurrection
You can't have political dissent without a MIDI playing Devo's "Whip It." See George W. Bush! Dancing! In a tutu! In blue boxer shorts!

2001-06-17

A Long, Hot, Kim Rollins Summer
She's skinny, she's sassy, and everyone's watching her. Today avid Pigdog Journal readers came forward with racy sightings of Seattle's favorite former web diarist.

2001-05-28

A Bugs Bunny Memorial Day
You can learn alot about World War II from movies. Apparently Hitler's number one enemy was Daffy Duck, whose efforts at collecting scrap iron were destablizing the Axis.

2001-05-17

Crazed Otters Terrorize Mankind
Otters! The latest in a string of bizarre and unexplained attacks rocks humankind. From Florida to Romania, one word is striking terror in the hearts of humans everywhere. Otters! Otters!

2001-04-15

China Humor -- the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
China, spy plane, blah blah blah. Is there anywhere you can get a fresh perspective?

2001-04-06

Wacky Japanese Animation
It's Pee-Wee Herman! A singing airplane! George W. Bush! A dangerous pace-maker! The internet is buzzing over an incongruous Shockwave video sung entirely in Japanese...

2001-02-15

Elvis sees Stalin's face
Elvis had a vision during a cross-country road trip in 1964. Driving to Hollywood from his Tennessee Graceland mansion, Elvis looked into the clouds and saw the face of Stalin.

2001-01-30

Whatever happened to Kim Rollins?
Kim Rollins has changed her marital status. From "single and looking" to just "single." That's one of many insights gleaned from two personal ads the internet celebrity posted online in November....

2001-01-29

Whatever happened to Wil Shipley?
It's been two years since Pigdog Journal initiated ongoing coverage of daily crises in the life of Wil Shipley. The software executive posted 51 frantic essays over a 10-week period documenting the end of his nine-year relationship with web celebrity Kim Rollins. Shipley has now posted an update...

2001-01-26

Barking Spoon unveiled
Corporate America wants to insult your intelligence. "Hey, rube! Wanna buy a barking spoon?"

2001-01-24

Ungovernerable mob confronts Bush illegitimacy
15,000 angry Americans protested the Bush inaugural cermonies, just in San Francisco, the local paper reported. Six Pigdog Journal staffers were on the scene...

2001-01-11

The match-making Congressman
A state representative is also running the web site SheWantsItBad.Net. It's Tom Alciere, the New Hampshire legislator who said killing cops was OK if they'd crossed a line.

2000-12-02

Wine Slurpies
It's winter in Idaho, and Boise personality "Lego-Man" reports on how he celebrated Thanksgiving. "I fed my wife, mother and sister wine slurpies!"

2000-11-15

El Destino vs. Comdex
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world.

2000-09-09

Natalie Portman built out of Legos
Lego fetish? A twisted man spends seven months building animals out of Legos. But not just animals -- 14-foot long animals. And, of course -- Natalie Portman.

2000-09-01

Geronimo's Skull Stolen -- By Secret Society!
Geronimo's skull was stolen by George Bush's father. An Apache chief, seeking to return the warrior's remains to an Arizona reservation, received a tip from a mole in the secret society.

2000-08-20

Russians Broadcast Subliminal Messages
"Sit and watch only ATN," came the command. A Russian TV network hid those words in every 25th frame of their advertisements...

2000-08-07

Spinal Tap weighs in on Napster
Spinal Tap faced many challenges during their life on the road -- a drummer that spontaneously exploded, second billing to an amusement park puppet show, and a 30-inch Stonehenge replica that was always in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. Now the faux band, reuniting for the DVD release of their mockumentary "This is Spinal Tap," has recorded an interview voicing their opinion about Napster.

2000-07-24

Gerlach, Nevada becomes Virtual Reality!
Burning Man attendees pass through Gerlach, Nevada -- a mysterious small town where everything is owned by a man named Bruno. Crazy Berkeley geeks simulated a 360 panorama using Virtual Reality technology!

2000-06-30

Dominatrix Whips Cow in New York
Two New York dominatrixes flogged a fiberglass cow in New York City. The cow -- which cost $10,000 -- stands at the center of a raging controversy...and a big lawsuit.

2000-06-28

Goodbye, Musical Yahoo
Yahoo's interface has always lacked one thing: mandatory MIDI music in the background. One webmaster had a dream to change all that... Here's his crazy story.

2000-06-16

Gonzo ToothBrush Tech
21st century technology transforms the world of dental hygiene, as unsuspecting users find they've purchased not just an electic toothbrush -- but the InterPlak RTB2.

2000-06-14

Word Processing on Corrugated Cardboard?
Neatness is for anal-retentive assholes. This is Pigdog!

But how can I recreate my crazed scrawls with a word processing program? This web page has the answer...

2000-06-08

Bill Gates explains
The internet celebrates the DOJ's decision against Microsoft -- by re-reading Bill Gates' 1998 testimony!

2000-05-25

Counterfeit Counter-Espionage!
"My name is Banks. Agent Banks.

"My body is only six inches wide, but my eerie pupil-less blue eyes were paid for by your tax dollars..."

2000-04-14

When Toys Go Bad
Sick of government buttinski's blaming the internet for everything? Check out these cool ads plugging super-violent toys from the 50s and early 60s!

2000-04-12

Hallmark's Demented Tax Postcards
As civilization atrophies, insanity grips even the bastion of saccharine consumer greeting cards. The fear and paranoia that greets tax day shifts the zeitgeist into a dark, destructive funk. And instinctively, on some deep, primal level, Hallmark begins reflecting the mounting despair with a series of web postcards catering to the cathartic release that can only come from seeing shit fucked up.

2000-04-11

Skins! For Browsers!
"Welcome to Fruity Gum," it says above the web browser's address bar. The "back" and "forward" buttons are red and white squares that look like Chiclets. And the icon loading the bookmark file is an orange circle with yellow arrows pointing in all directions, over a purple-and-red honeycomb pattern.

2000-04-10

Stupid Canadian Words
We all use Canadian English every day: when we order a pizza "all-dressed", hope to get a "seat sale" to go south during "March break", or "book off" work to meet with a "CGA" to discuss "RRSPs." The above jibberish comes from a web page promoting the "Canadian Oxford Dictionary," an attempt to subvert our cherished English language with stupid -- and sometimes perverted -- Canadian-isms.

2000-03-03

Naked Man Strapped to SUV
A 350-pound man is tied, naked and spread-eagled, to the roof of a Ford Explorer.

It's just another commute in North Carolina.

1999-07-06

Kim Rollins sighting?
Is Wil Shipley re-uniting with Kim Rollins? A rumor emerges to fan the flames of Kim Rollins-watchers everywhere. Tuesday night, someone calling him/herself "Not Telling" (ainttelling@hotmail.com) contacted Pigdog with unverified -- yet tantalizing -- reports on the latest possible development...

1999-06-21

Lego Nut Buys Car
Defending Boise as "Mayberry for computer geeks," noted Boise personality "Lego-Man" recently purchased a 1969 BMW his brother spotted "sitting out in the farmer's back forty."

1999-04-22

Weird Richard will BURY Microsoft
Internet Personality "Weird Richard," the self proclaimed "Lego King" threw his hat into the "beat Microsoft" ring today.

1999-01-22

Wil Shipley Memories
Stunned readers mulled the possible end of Wil Shipley's journal by pondering cherished moments from entries past.

1999-01-22

Shipley Ends Journal
In an entry titled "Journal Ends" Wil Shipley abandoned his ongoing journal, "Scab."

1999-01-12

Two months later and she's still with him.
Despite the lack of new information about Kim Rollins, OmniGroup President and Founder Wil Shipley posted his 47th essay since November 15 documenting his recovery from the end of their nine-year relationship. But some readers aren't satisfied with Shipley's side of the story....

1999-01-09

Marilyn is WRONG!
Cranks attack Parade Magazine! Which side are you rooting for?

1999-01-09

Superhero Fights Y2K Bug?
Y2K Hysteria reaches new highs! El Destino's credit union created Y2K Man to re-assure customers.

1999-01-09

It's a Microsoft World
Microsoft's anti-trust trial found experts warning the judge of "A Microsoft World." Duh! El Destino spells it out for the judge with the inevitable Disneyland song parody

1999-01-08

Drugs on AOL!
Drugs! AOL? E-commerce just got more interesting, says El Destino.....

1999-01-07

Lego-Man off the Block Comments
An open letter the Lego Company from Mr. Lego-Man himself.

1999-01-07

Fly With Us Because We Hate You
The BBC reports protesting flight attendants may adopt a radical measure to increase pressure on management. Their new tactic? They'll stop smiling at passengers for one hour each flight.

1999-01-07

Write for The Pigdog Journal... or You Suck
Everyone reveres the Mining Company -- the great internet start-up that bottled SlashDot's formula and sold it wholesale. But things are not always what they seem. New evidence suggests The Mining Company is an evil scam, like sixdegrees.com and the Free Masons.

1998-12-24

Shipley Renames Journal: 'Scab'
Wil Shipley, online diarist beloved by millions, has changed the name of his journal from the pain-induced "Ouch" to the gently-healing "Scab". El Destino, as usual, has TOTAL COVERAGE.

1998-12-14

Wil Shipley Makes Fun of HIMSELF
Wil Shipley posted his own top ten list. "Top 10 Pickup Lines I've Had No Luck With So Far."

1998-12-07

Shipley's Doctor Prescribes More Pills
"I got a prescription for a bunch more pills." In an essay titled "More Drugs," OmniGroup President and founder Wil Shipley reports enthusiastically on his struggle for mental health. "I'd push my own mother in front of a train to keep taking Zoloft," Shipley jokes...

1998-12-01

Shipley's Bladder-Capacity Improves
OmniGroup president and founder Wil Shipley reports he is able to go longer without relieving himself. "Today, when I went to pick up Karawynn, I didn't stop in the men's room or even think about it," Shipley reports in an on-line essay.

1998-11-27

A Wil Shipley Thanksgiving
"I went to Thanksgiving at Britta and Kevin's, but I was a zombie," OmniGroup president and founder Wil Shipley writes. In an on-line essay, Shipley chronicles how his break-up with net-celebrity Kim Rollins has complicated his holiday celebrations -- also sharing memories of the evening before Thanksgiving. "In the middle of reading the paper I broke down and started crying again...." Shipley reports that "I went upstairs and had a good cry, then read for a while." Shipley's prescription for the anti-depressant Zoloft has now been doubled.

1998-11-24

What Will Sun Do?
Rumors of a mega-deal between AOL, Netscape, and Sun worried advocates of the Open-Source Software movement. "We are interested in finding out how AOL will deal with Netscape's plans for support of its browser as an open source product that can be freely distributed, and which is supported on multiple OS platforms..." commented Jamie Love, director of the Washington, D.C.-based Consumer Project on Technology, on an Internet-protocol mailing list.

1998-11-23

Shipley Confronts 'Little Her', Remembers Obsessive Behavior
Sunday Omni Development founder and president Wil Shipley confronted the turbulent aftermath of his break-up with net-celebrity Kim Rollins by facing the legacy of the "little piece of her inside me."

1998-11-22

Shipley Misses Sex Less Than Expected
Omni Development president Wil Shipley finds the most difficult part of his break-up with net-celebrity Kim Rollins is her unavailability for conversation. Shipley expressed surprise in an on-line essay. "I always assumed that the hardest thing would be the no sex...."

1998-11-20

Shipley Has Haircut and Eats Banana!
(PIGDOG BREAKING) Omni Development founder and president Wil Shipley had a haircut Thursday -- and successfully ate half a banana.

1998-11-19

Police Sent For Rollins' Ex
A police officer visited a Seattle-area hotel after Omni Development founder and president Wil Shipley paid an unexpected call on ex-girlfriend Kim Rollins. The policeman's visit culminated an ongoing series of humiliations for the Omni Group founder...

1998-11-17

Sex Weekend, Says Rollins' Ex
500 regular visitors to Kim Rollins's on-line journal Tuesday found instead a link to an essay titled "Ouch" written by her ex-boyfriend Wil Shipley -- the founder and president of Omni Development, Inc. A series of pages ultimately led readers to a document posted at 12:37 Tuesday offering Shipley's version of their relationship's final days. "[S]he ran off to Portland for a sex weekend...." The bitter Omnigroup founder in fact uses the phrase "sex weekend" three times to describe Kim's meeting with the man for whom she ultimately abandoned her nine-year relationship in Seattle. Shipley reflects on Kim's preparations with irony. "I guess she felt too guilty to take the chocolate I gave her...." (SEE LINKS IN FULL STORY!)

1998-11-16

Long-time Net Goddess Kim Rollins to Close Site
At first I thought it was a fake suicide note. "By the time you read this, it's already too late. I'm in my car, or perhaps I've already arrived at my destination; but at any rate, I'm not here and won't be again." It's very real--but she only killed her old self. The last entry in Kim Rollins' on-line journal - - written November 12, but posted at 12:18 today -- tells us she's left her boyfriend of nine years, and headed "south."

1998-11-16

The Phoney 15-year-old Prostitute
Salon's doing a story on how the "Sally Jesse Raphael Show" is facing a lawsuit for hundreds of millions of dollars for allegedly "recruiting" a 15-year-old runaway to pose as a prostitute.

Offsite links shared by the author

2022-12-16

The California Christmas song from the show Crazy Ex Girlfriend
The "California Christmas" song (from the show "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend")

2020-11-13

2019-12-10

Former Inforwars staffer admits making up stories
"The information did not meet our expectations, so we made it up, preying on the vulnerable and feeding the prejudices and fears of Jones’s audience. We ignored certain facts, fabricated others and took situations out of context to fit our narrative..."

2006-07-22

Naked newscaster's Wikipedia page
The Naked News' Victoria Sinclair gets a Wikipedia entry.

2002-02-05

2002-01-18

2002-01-04

Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield
The Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield

2001-11-15

2001-07-30

2001-07-06

2001-05-07

2001-04-10

2001-03-18

2001-03-05

2001-03-05

2001-03-03

2001-01-24

2001-01-22

2001-01-01

2000-11-11

2000-10-02

2000-07-17

2000-04-14

2000-04-10

1999-07-07

Evil ad vendor conquers desktops!
Evil ad-installer hidden in BIOS

1999-06-11

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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