Build Date: Wed May 21 11:40:48 2025 UTC
I NEED TO CALM DOWN NOW, AND TO MAKE A PLAN. YES. I NEED TO SIT DOWN, AND TO MAKE A PLAN. NOW.
-- Head Freezin' Gene
El Snatcher
Raised by anacondas in a South American rain forest (or born and
abandoned in a Memphis laundromat, and brought up by Quakers,
depending on whose version of the "truth" you want to believe,)
El Snatcher is Pigdog's fiercest attack journalist, a hillbilly
icon born and bred to unearth diamonds lost in shitpiles and uncloak
Bad People in angelic disguise wherever they lurk.
Three-time winner of the Pigdog "Most Likely to Harbor a Deeply
Personal Lifetime Grudge Award," Snatcher spends his days and nights cloaked
in mystery on Spock Mountain, an enigmatic figure in a blood-spattered
lab coat lurking the labyrinth hallways of his Super Sekrit MegaResearch
laboratory in an undisclosed location, where he performs myriad and inhuman
experiments on all forms of human and whatnot matter. Rumors have it
that El Snatcher lives on a diet that consists solely of broiled and
grilled large meat and fresh beaujolais from his private reserve.
El Snatcher has an undying, pitbull jaw-clamping-like hatred for people
who say things like: "Let's go debunk old granny ESP ladies and laugh in
their faces! HAHA HA We are SO SMARTY PANTY! We did a sting on that
old dowser guy! hahah! Everything not endorsed by Nature magazine
is a fraud!! Let's get them real good, har har! And we're HIPPIES!
We're BAD HIPPIES at the same time!! YaY!! I am a vegetarian skeptic boy
HIPPIE!!! We spy on people with our telescopes while we're barefoot!! And
this is our club. We all LOVE TO LOVE Carl Sagan together in paradise.
Let's watch Star Track and masturbate!! Yay!!"
Pigdog Journal Articles
2007-09-09
2002-04-12
2001-11-25
2001-07-05
2001-03-06
2000-12-31
2000-08-19
2000-07-24
1999-11-16
1999-10-24
1999-09-28
1999-08-25
1999-08-24
1999-08-11
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1999-07-28
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1999-07-09
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1999-06-28
1999-06-28
1999-06-24
1999-06-21
1999-06-17
1999-06-14
1999-06-09
1999-06-09
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1999-05-28
1999-05-26
1999-05-25
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1999-04-30
1999-04-30
1999-04-27
1999-04-21
1999-04-21
1999-04-08
1999-03-11
1999-02-24
1999-02-24
1999-02-22
1999-02-18
1999-02-17
1999-02-17
1999-02-16
1998-12-18
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1998-11-03
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1998-10-05
Offsite links shared by the author
2002-12-17
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2002-06-20
2002-05-28
2002-05-28
2002-05-06
2002-04-17
2002-04-12
2002-04-07
2001-11-29
2001-11-29
2001-11-27
2001-10-28
2001-03-15
2001-03-15
2001-03-06
2001-02-13
2001-01-26
2000-12-08
2000-12-08
2000-12-08
2000-10-04
2000-07-16
2000-04-25
2000-04-11
2000-03-10
1999-12-17
1999-12-02
1999-11-19
1999-11-12
1999-11-08
1999-11-05
1999-09-14
1999-08-24
1999-08-24
1999-08-24
1999-08-18
1999-08-18
1999-08-18
1999-08-11
1999-08-11
1999-08-09
1999-08-07
1999-08-05
1999-08-05
1999-07-28
1999-07-27
1999-07-16
1999-07-15
1999-07-15
1999-07-15
1999-07-15
1999-07-15
1999-07-15
1999-07-14
1999-07-13
1999-07-12
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1999-07-03
1999-06-24
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1999-06-16
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1999-06-10
1999-06-08
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1999-05-26
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
Ah, it's that special time of year again. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, crowded, dangerous streets filled with maniac shoppers rushing to the mall to buy Pokemon action figures, and getting hammered at the Xmas party and insulting the boss's hair weave. That's right: it's time to drink heavily and wait out life's little nagging miseries, holiday variety. Pigdog is here to help. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)