El Snatcher
Raised by anacondas in a South American rain forest (or born and
abandoned in a Memphis laundromat, and brought up by Quakers,
depending on whose version of the "truth" you want to believe,)
El Snatcher is Pigdog's fiercest attack journalist, a hillbilly
icon born and bred to unearth diamonds lost in shitpiles and uncloak
Bad People in angelic disguise wherever they lurk.
Three-time winner of the Pigdog "Most Likely to Harbor a Deeply
Personal Lifetime Grudge Award," Snatcher spends his days and nights cloaked
in mystery on Spock Mountain, an enigmatic figure in a blood-spattered
lab coat lurking the labyrinth hallways of his Super Sekrit MegaResearch
laboratory in an undisclosed location, where he performs myriad and inhuman
experiments on all forms of human and whatnot matter. Rumors have it
that El Snatcher lives on a diet that consists solely of broiled and
grilled large meat and fresh beaujolais from his private reserve.
El Snatcher has an undying, pitbull jaw-clamping-like hatred for people
who say things like: "Let's go debunk old granny ESP ladies and laugh in
their faces! HAHA HA We are SO SMARTY PANTY! We did a sting on that
old dowser guy! hahah! Everything not endorsed by Nature magazine
is a fraud!! Let's get them real good, har har! And we're HIPPIES!
We're BAD HIPPIES at the same time!! YaY!! I am a vegetarian skeptic boy
HIPPIE!!! We spy on people with our telescopes while we're barefoot!! And
this is our club. We all LOVE TO LOVE Carl Sagan together in paradise.
Let's watch Star Track and masturbate!! Yay!!"
Pigdog Journal Articles
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Offsite links shared by the author
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SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
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During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)