Build Date: Mon Jun 17 11:00:15 2024 UTC

I'm a lazy, drunken hillbilly with a heart full of hate.
-- HST

Lenny Tuberose

Evil clone mastermind Lenny Tuberose lurks like a toxic ice spider in his Arctic command center, Pigdog Ice Station Two. He spends most of his time brooding and violating Nature's laws, but he occasionally fires off communiques to his flannel-shirted Canadian lackeys, who smuggle them across the border in maple syrup trucks to various Pigdog Journal article drops in the Lower 48.

Pigdog Journal Articles


Pigdog Journal Annual Christmas Essay Contest RUNNER UP ESSAY
A funny thing happened Pigdog Christmas Essay Contest. We got a second entry -- a raunchy, rowdy fable that seemed destined for glory, to RUN HARD and STEAL THE PRIZE, a strong contender to be this year's grand prize winner.


Pigdog Journal Annual Christmas Essay Contest WINNING ESSAY
It started 20 years ago -- and we're STILL HERE, dammit! So because Christmas is a TIME OF TRADITION, and to honor's glorious resurrection, we announced the return of our most hallowed tradition: the Christmas Essay contest.

And now we're announcing the BIG 2017 WINNER!


Shithole. If you cleaned it up some. Ness had been in worse though. He coughed—something cool and thick rose into the back of his mouth and he spat reflexively. A scurrilous wad of mucus tinged with blood landed heavily with a wet unsavory sonance to lie like a stillborn slug. The cough was accompanied by a searing pain in his chest, but the intimation of the mortality bearing down on him left no mark upon him. The viscid love letter from the cancer in his lungs quivered briefly and then was still. It seemed at home there among the refused and casually discarded constituency of debris. Shithole.


Darwin award missed by THAT much...
Stupid fuck extraordinaire, Steve Irwin, has fucked with his last wild animal. An asshole even by Australian standards, Irwin fucked around with the wrong stingray and took a poisoned barb directly in the heart.


My Big Fat Obnoxious President
Fox presents the ultimate, ultimate practical joke with their latest and greatest brainchild-- MY BIG FAT OBNOXIOUS PRESIDENT


Pigdog Journal Fifth Annual Christmas Essay Contest WINNING ESSAY
That's right! The moment we've ALL been waiting for ALL YEAR LONG since the beginning of this anus horribilis is FINALLY HERE! The ANNOUNCEMENT of the WINNING ESSAY in the FIFTH ANNUAL PIGDOG JOURNAL CHRISTMAS ESSAY CONTEST! Boojho! Huzzah!


The Devil Is In The Detail
This cautionary tale of dyslexic satanists and Klingon-speaking demon-dweebs just might save your worthless, unpopular Goth ass. But you didn't listen to us when we told you to lose the black nailpolish, so why start now.


Pigdog Journal Fourth Annual Christmas Essay Contest FIRST RUNNER-UP ESSAY
Beaujolais! X-mas time for the whole family with the FIRST RUNNER-UP winning X-mas essay! It's a holiday extravaganza that's sure to make everyone warm in their cockles.


Pigdog Journal Third Annual Christmas Essay Contest WINNING ESSAY
Beaujolais! We have a winner! And none too soon -- the most magical day of the year is nigh upon us. Curl up to your iMac and read another touching Yuletide tale by none other than our Xmas essayist emeritus, LENNY TUBEROSE!


Hail the Acadian!
The quest for knowledge never ends at the super top secret Spock Mountain Laboratory, although it is frequently interrupted by beverage breaks. Recently, a team of crack ethnomixologists returned from a dangerous expedition to the frozen expanse of Canada with the much sought recipe for a Spocktail that is destined to replace blunt force head trauma as the major cause of brain damage in the civilized world.


Pigdog Journal Second Annual Christmas Essay Contest WINNER
The results are in! Pigdog Journal's expert array of AI software essay-judging programs have returned a result -- and what a result it is!


An Elvis Cult Miracle
Canuck UBERMENCH Lenny Tuberose will worm his way into your heart with this piece of crazy fiction... Bourbon, hillbillies, and Elvis. Read this instead of going to lunch.


The Grass Is Always Greener
Lenny Tuberose, master of the macabre, spins a tale about the end of the world and other bad things.


A Clone Christmas In Guelph
Lenny Tuberose, Grand Prize Winner of the Pigdog Journal Christmas Essay Contest, presents a heart-warming tale of what Christmas is all about: brutal assaults and substance abuse. Destined to be a Christmas classic!


New fiction by the King of Explicit Evisceration Stories, Lenny Tuberose.


New fiction by the King of Explicit Evisceration Stories, Lenny Tuberose.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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