Don't ever accuse me of been sensible. EVER.
-- Johnnie Royale



Johnny ROYALE, however, is the King of the High Rollers! He's Elvis, Dean Martin, Dennis Farina and Joe Pesce all wrapped up into one! He drinks top shelf liquor and pays rock-bottom prices. He brunches in Atlantic City, does cocktail hour in Beverly Hills and then jets to the other coast to prowl the streets of Manhattan after midnight. He can mix a Perl-Java Web site with one hand and a pearl-onion gimlet with the other and still not break a sweat.
If there's just one thing I know in this mixed-up, crazy world, Mister Turkish for Bent or Curved, it's that if there's an UNHOLY PLOT going on somewhere, JOHNNY ROYALE is the man behind it.

Pigdog Journal Articles:

2011-03-18 Oh Hey... LOOK, We Have Comments
2011-03-17 The Bacon Rocket
2011-03-15 WWE SMACK DOWN - From the Schoolyard
2007-05-24 Finally, the MSM does some real reporting
2004-12-30 The Johnnie Royale Game
2004-11-19 Babs and Jenna Go Hungry
2004-11-19 Mach 3 Power
2004-02-03 Bush Lied
2004-02-01 Fucking CBS
2004-02-01 A Wiki Travel Guide
2004-02-01 Spreading the word one frothy and consensual ass at a time.
2004-01-29 We'rrreeeee Baaaaaccccckkkkk
2003-07-11 Record Label's Money-grubbing Grab
2003-07-08 "Justin Banged Me" Sez Britney
2003-06-30 Two, Count Them Two, Livers!!!
2003-01-22 Rosen Resigns from RIAA
2003-01-17 These Boots are Made for Marching
2003-01-13 Time to Put the Governor in Jail
2003-01-13 Winner by a Knockout
2002-10-23 SSM Decompression Issues
2002-10-03 Smallpox Vaccinations for EVERYONE
2002-09-06 Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
2002-05-30 A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
2002-05-29 Boil Them in Oil
2002-05-17 A Girl's Best Friend
2002-04-30 Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
2002-04-25 Swim, Jesus, Swim
2002-04-24 Congress Shocked - Adolescent Abstinence Programs Unable to Prove They Work
2002-04-22 The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
2002-04-19 You Say Potato, I Say Skank
2002-04-19 Drill or the Terrorist Have Already Won
2002-04-18 Federal Judge Bitchslaps USAG John Ashcroft
2002-04-07 Fucking Lying Government Whores
2002-04-07 Would You Like a Little Information with Your Anarchy?
2002-04-06 How Many Would it Take?
2002-04-06 Where No Caveman Has Gone Before
2002-04-05 Norway Government Caves to Student Partying
2002-04-05 Monkeys Attack Girls School
2002-03-21 SSSCA Renamed and Introduced
2002-03-21 Canadia to Return to Normalcy in 2004?
2002-03-18 European Galileo Green Lighted
2002-03-17 The Ins and Outs of a Very Sucky 2002
2002-03-07 Swastikas and Maple Leafs and Hosers, Oh My!
2002-03-02 Keep Your Hands Off of My PC
2002-02-28 The Limericks of Gor
2002-02-16 What's Tjames Doing in Europe?
2002-01-23 Hang'em From the Highest Oil Derrick
2002-01-22 Super Russian Torpedo
2002-01-03 The Life of the RIAA Has Been Greatly Exaggerated
2001-12-22 Announcing the BRAND Spanking NEW PDJ Quote Daturbase Page
2001-12-21 Lawrence Lessig Interview on Slashdot
2001-12-17 Santa's 2001 Official FAA Flight Clearance
2001-12-17 France Threatens to Reinforce US Navy in Middle East
2001-11-14 Thank you El Destino
2001-11-12 Coming Soon to a Sky Near You - Leonid Meteor Shower Nov 17/18
2001-11-11 So Gore Could Have Won
2001-11-10 Ernie's House of Whoop Ass
2001-11-07 Thursday Night Is Pigdog Night at American Astronaut
2001-11-07 Official Rules of TNiPNaZ
2001-10-22 The King of Poop
2001-10-19 Get Rid of Spyware
2001-10-19 Net Flotsam
2001-10-18 Porking bin Laden
2001-10-17 Boom... Now What's a Lefty To Do?
2001-10-16 Hack "This" RIAA
2001-10-16 Wag the Fucking Dog Man, Wag the FUCKING Dog
2001-10-13 Tolkien on Evil Swedish Site
2001-10-09 Evil Bert and Evil Bin Laden
2001-09-14 Next Dimtry Hearing is Scheduled for September 24
2001-08-18 Court Hearing for Dmitry - Aug 23rd - POSTPONED!!
2001-08-18 SMRLJuice
2001-07-28 Holy Fucking Shit... the Economist Calls for Drug Legalization
2001-07-18 Russian Programmer Imprisoned for DMCA Violations
2001-04-19 Serial Killing Seal
2001-02-27 Courtney Loves Loves MP3s
2001-02-26 Redhat's Retort to M$: "P~~~~~~~~~~~~"
2001-02-22 This Tiger Don't Take Shit
2001-02-21 Pig Eats Man's Head and Balls
2001-02-17 Open Source Destroying America
2001-02-17 The Sedated Pirate
2001-01-21 What's in, What's out - Version 2001
2000-11-13 The "Radical" Middle of American Politics. It Ain't Pretty (in more ways then one)
2000-11-10 74 Days of Media Hell
2000-11-09 News FLASH!!! Demos Assured of a White House Victory
2000-11-08 Surfing Safely with SafeWeb
2000-11-07 $3 Billion and Look at the Mess it Bought. I Want a Refund.
2000-11-07 Score This One As a Win
2000-11-06 I'm Drunk and I'm Voting
2000-11-01 Stop Prohibition in Space NOW!!!
2000-10-31 Bush Calls Gore a Liar
2000-10-31 VoteSwap2000 Ordered Off the Net by Cal. State Sec
2000-10-30 President Strom Thrumond?
2000-10-28 Sleeping Lawyer is A-OK in Texas
2000-10-27 Johnnie Royale says Vote YES on Prop 36!
2000-10-27 Michael Moore Says... Vote Nader
2000-10-26 Time to Vote...
2000-10-20 No Friction, No Profit. No Profit, No Job
2000-10-17 Help NASA Find Their Spacecraft
2000-10-16 And You Thought All You Had to Worry About Was H-bombs
2000-10-16 Annotated Dennis Miller
2000-10-16 $100 Million for a Bike Lane
2000-10-16 SDMI Head Says
2000-10-16 They Fought the Man... and Won!!
2000-10-16 Ethnic Cleansing, Texas Style
2000-10-13 Boring Gore Nearly Talks Boy to Death
2000-10-12 Squirrel Porn0
2000-10-12 SDMI Hacked
2000-10-11 We Got Mail
2000-10-10 Pigdog Tracks Down Mr. T
2000-07-08 1 Million Raving Germans Can't Be Wrong
2000-07-03 The Spockmopolitan
2000-05-11 Pigdog Mourns Bourbon Fire
2000-05-09 GAR - More Bad People of the Past
2000-05-06 The Vulcan Highlander
2000-05-06 Howdy Doody in Huge Paternity Suit
2000-05-01 Missing Parts of Planet Earth
2000-01-29 Red - It Will Get You Drunk
2000-01-29 More Dumb Criminals
1999-08-18 It's an Old Country and They Like It That Way
1999-08-18 Better Make that a Double Spocktail...
1999-08-18 Planet Hollywood Collides with the Asteroid of Reality
1999-06-18 Baby Got Track!
1999-06-17 Dead Snakes Are Just Faking It
1999-06-16 No Refund for Dead Subway Rider
1999-06-12 Army Bewitched
1999-06-12 Ay-leens Infiltrate Livermore Labs!!!
1999-06-11 Hide the 'Shine Ma - Here Come the Revenuers
1999-06-11 Arkansas Hillbillies Speed Up
1999-06-06 De' Sponge, She's Back
1999-06-04 Girls, Please Keep the Signs Dry
1999-06-03 Would You Like a Bible With That Beer?
1999-06-03 Strong Enough For a Man, but Made For a Woman
1999-05-12 Get a Life, Get a Job
1999-01-12 Australians Lick It Up
1999-01-11 Lucas isn't God
1999-01-08 'Take That; You Bad Old Gov't' - Tweety Bird
1999-01-04 An Ethologist's Notebook
1998-11-29 Wil Shipley Quiet
1998-11-25 Alligators Miss Late Night Snack
1998-11-24 Perfidy Soars In Non-humans
1998-11-08 Mayor McHat McCreamed
1998-11-07 Micro$oft - AntiChrist of High-tech
1998-11-07 Micro$oft Exposed
1998-11-06 Newt Scoots
1998-11-04 Spock Got Game!!!


Offsite Links

NOTE: content of offsite links is not (necessarily) created by this Pigdog Journal author. They just found it and shared it with you.

2011-03-21 My Fucking Job is Unbelievable
2011-03-15 Can She Taste the Roofies?
2011-03-13 Pizza Delivery Instructions
2011-03-13 The Best Water Balloon Breaking Ever
The Best Water Balloon Breaking Ever
2011-03-12 Shut up! Yours are weirder.
2011-03-11 How to eat for FREE (video, in french w/ subtitles)
2011-03-11 D & D Playable Races Line Up
2011-03-03 Wine ATM
2004-11-20 The Roadrunner of Spacecraft
2004-02-01 Jon Blake Cusack 2.0
2003-06-08 Distorted Intelligence
They are finally starting to speculate in the mainstream press that if BushCo misused or distorted intelligence data to build their case for war, it could be an impeachable offense.
2002-09-26 Who needs sleep?
2002-06-19 All about Sporks
2002-06-18 Big Gulp scandal rocks Canadia
2002-06-11 Sleep is for wussies
2002-05-28 Moral of this story... Don't fart in during an operation
2002-05-17 Shamrock Shake Site
Hey, look at this... some moron wants McDonalds to bring back the horrible Shamrock Shake.
2002-04-22 Pussy Lovers
Come on in Pussy Lovers. If we don't got it, you don't want it. (Flash)
2002-04-14 Cootch Juice Pancakes
2002-04-11 These Caibou Will Be Held Accountable
Now make NO mistake, these caribou will be held accountable (Flash)
2002-04-09 Nixon Running for Office
Richard M. Nixon running for Alabama State Agriculture Commissioner
2002-03-22 The Mystery of Boobies Spears' Breasts
2002-03-21 Power Point Presentation of the Gettysburg Address
2002-03-18 Features I wish my computer had
2002-03-18 A kick in the balls
Your very basic kick in the balls (wmv/avi)
2002-03-15 Guinness Eyes Are Smiling
Guinness eyes are smiling.
2002-03-05 WP Editorial on copyright
Washington Post slams Disney for "Mickey Mousing" with US copyright laws. Free the Mickey NOW!!!
2002-03-03 Lung sucking bomb
New US "thermobaric" bomb sucks air from deep caves and lungs. Al Qaeda members said to be deflated.
2002-02-21 Big Boobs from EHOWA
Oy Vey, this is pair of boobs. Big BIG boobs. (WMV)
2002-02-20 Enron Voicemail
Listen to the voicemail of Enron, "the world's greatest company". Flash/Audio only
2001-12-17 Naked "Bulgarian" News
2001-12-17 "I Don't Smoke, I Don't Drink. Two Out of Three Ain't Bad" - Bob Crane
2001-12-03 My Hillbilly Name is "Bubba Ray Winchester"
2001-12-03 Do You Have Camel Toe?
2001-11-29 The Lesson: Don't Sit in the Front Row of a Titty Bar without a Helmet.
2001-11-19 They Never Claimed to be Smart Terrorists
2001-11-19 No Donkeys of Death, but We Do Have Some Pandas of Derision
2001-11-19 Harry Pothead and the Magical Herb (flash)
2001-11-19 theBearSuit.com
2001-11-19 Butt Breathing Tuttles
2001-11-06 Lyndon LaRouche says
2001-10-22 We Got DeathStar - Star Wars Gangsta Rap (Shockwave)
2001-10-22 Presidental Review on Terrorism Begins Today
2001-10-18 Zagat Survey of the Afghan Food Drop
2001-10-18 Aunt Sam! Hooray For the Red, White and Blue!
2001-10-17 Bert's Not Evil, He an Assassin (flash)
2001-10-17 Bash bin Laden With a Bat (flash)
2001-10-16 Lego Starwars Trilogy
2001-10-15 You Want Some Tractor... I'll Give You Some Tractor
2001-10-11 Announcing Wonderbum for Women Desiring Pert Cheeks
2001-10-11 GodMan Strikes Back at Terror
2001-10-10 Dog Shoots Man
Dog Shoot Man
2001-07-27 Fear Leads To.... Twinkies
2001-07-26 What Do We Want? Free Dmitry!!! When Do We Want It? NOW!!
2001-07-24 E.T. Phone Here
2001-07-19 How they make Coondogs
2001-06-27 Did You Know That Ay-leens' Dicks Glow?
2001-06-23 LIVE NUDE GIRLS UNITE! ***/NR
2001-06-20 Ayleen Garden Gnomes
2001-06-12 Need an energy boost? Try canned "Gozilla Meat"
2001-02-27 Farm Town Mourns Missing Cow; Faces Pressure to Grow Up
2001-02-22 Guilty of Exercising Unnatural Behavior
2001-01-27 Hooray for hedonism and down with "Family Destinations"
2000-12-15 Bill Gates is Dead
2000-11-13 ABC Cans Drudge
ABC Cans Annoying Internet Muckracker Drudge's Radio Show.
2000-11-13 Not getting enough cheerleaders in skimpy outfits? Check out the XFL
2000-11-10 It Is Official, the Rest of the World Thinks the US is Crazy
2000-11-07 Got Kids, A Job and No Day Care. No Problem, Just Lock the Kids in the Trunk
2000-11-06 Top Ten Reasons Why Beer is Better than Jesus
2000-11-06 More Animal Attacks. Ram Rams Breaver's
2000-11-06 Microsoft Forgets to Close Window on Own Network. More Hacking Ensues
2000-11-06 What, Me Worry? Mad Turns 400
2000-11-06 How About a Five For Two Tens and a Blow Job?
2000-10-30 One Ring to rule them all
2000-10-30 Charlie's Angels on the Big Screen, Nov 3rd
2000-10-30 The top ten reasons Eternal Damnation is better than Windows
2000-10-30 The Edmund Scientific Catalog... Prerequisite For Every Bad Scientist of the Future, I Have Mine, Do You?
2000-10-30 Random Bits, No Really, Random Bits... Check It Out
2000-10-28 Airborne Hogs or Flying Pigs - either way it was First Class
2000-10-28 That's one way out of a war
2000-10-27 Crackers crack Microsoft
2000-10-26 An index of all things Galactican and Republican
2000-10-25 Russian Nix Multiple Wives Solution
2000-10-17 Another Frat Party at UCB. Another Riot on Telegraph
2000-10-13 Hells Angels - Stuttgart Germany
2000-10-13 Non-Drag Queenie Elizabeth ][ receives pot laced bouquet
2000-10-12 Hate Scrats
Do you hate Scrats? Check out the anti-squirrel web ring.
2000-10-11 Miss Muffy and Muff Mob
2000-06-22 www.wookie.net
2000-06-14 Pro-Marijuana Documentary
2000-06-12 If you ever need BubbaTeeth, now you know where to find them
2000-06-11 Play the Dot Com Deadpool
2000-05-28 Italy Invades Sweden
Feather-Headed Italian Soldiers Invade Sweden
2000-05-22 Woman's Arm is Tasty Tiger Treat
2000-05-20 Stupid Finnish Advertisements... I kid you not
2000-05-20 Lamest of the lame duck Presidents
2000-05-11 Microsoft to Judge... Trust us... we promise... this time we'll behave
2000-05-10 'Whips Don't Whip People. People Whip People'
2000-05-09 Evil Canadia and the Masturbation Gap
2000-05-08 SpacePorn!!! Al-yeen Cum Baths!
2000-05-08 RIAA Wins Round One vs. Napster. Fuck the RIAA... Get Gnutella
2000-05-08 Canadia Currency Shrinking
2000-05-07 Find your Wiccan Soulmate
2000-05-06 Honey, I Think That There is a Shark in the Basement
2000-05-06 Bozo Porn - A Little Something for Everyone.
2000-05-05 Daddies get their panties in a bunch over "Panty Raider: From Here to Immaturity."
2000-05-05 More gnutella is good gnutella
2000-05-05 I'm for nude dancing and flag burning... so I must be an elitist, leading a cultural coup d'etat
2000-05-05 Satanic riots in Central America
2000-05-03 Seadog's bite Mayor... Go Seadogs go!




C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Escape to Spock Mountain!
by Baron Earl

Sex Crimes of the X-Men
by El Destino

Please Continue...
by Baron Earl

Absinthia: The Pigdog Interview
by El Snatcher, Mr. Bad