Caesar's Palace show combines glitz, tits, and Absinthe
Reported 2011-03-01 22:00:18
By Baron Earl

Combine "Roman Plaza", "speakeasy", "beer garden", "drinking games", "theater-in-the-round", "mirrors", "stained glass" and "velvet" with "Adult Show" and "90-minute performance" and you get the latest entertainment experience "Absinthe" from Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. (More...)

Beaujolais named French wine of the year
Reported 2011-03-01 21:17:50
By Baron Earl

Normally enjoyed for it's quick buzz and skull-crack hangover, Beaujolais is not known as a wine savored so much as swilled. That may be changing because Georges Duboeuf Morgon Domaine Mont Chavy 2009 Beaujolais was named French wine of the year by some wine snob. Whether that means that this Beaujolais is a fine wine or that every other French offering tastes like donkey ball sweat is a matter of opinion. (More...)

Canadian scientists theorize about pint glasses of neutron star superfluid extract
Reported 2011-03-01 21:12:45
By Baron Earl

When Canadian scientists get all hot and bothered about a cooling neutron star in the constellation Cassiopeia, their thoughts quickly turn to glasses of superfluid. (More...)

Bride price: $2.7 million
Reported 2008-04-09 12:58:48
By h.r.taffs

You can't make this stuff up: in Abu Dhabi, the winner of a camel beauty contest was sold to a Dubai prince for $2.7 million. (More...)

San Francisco to Honor President Bush
Reported 2008-04-08 23:30:31
By Baron Earl

Naming schools, public buildings, and city streets after politicians and presidents is a long and honored tradition in this country. With President Bush slated to leave office in just a few more months, residents of San Francisco are already gearing up with a ballot initiative to rename a public facility after our departing 43rd President. If the ballot measure passes, San Francisco's shit will be processed by the George W. Bush Sewage Plant. (More...)

Charlton Heston is Soylent Green
Reported 2008-04-08 12:57:09
By h.r.taffs

Charlton Heston, inadvertent star of Bowling for Columbine, died on April 5, 2008 at the age of 84. Unconfirmed reports indicate that he shot his eye out and a BB gun was pried from his "cold, dead hands." (More...)

wikileaks.org DNS censored
Reported 2008-02-18 15:06:48
By Michael Bakunin

It's not prior restraint, because you can just memorize http://88.80.13.160/ (More...)

Bush Announces Economic Stimulus Plan, Stock Markets Plunge
Reported 2008-01-21 21:55:26
By Baron Earl

On Friday President Bush announced an economic stimulus plan. The plan was short on details, vague on implementation, fuzzy about who would be helped, but sharply targeted when it came to how many taxpayer dollars should be spent -- about one percent of the nation's GDP -- somewhere between $140 and $150 billion dollars. (More...)

Alex Jones manhandled and arrested on trumped-up charges by NYPD!
Reported 2007-09-09 11:33:25
By El Snatcher

Last night in New York City, a big monster cop raced into a crowd of demonstrators during an early street action for the 9/11 anniversary, specifically singling out documentary filmmaker and popular talk show host, Alex Jones, and handcuffed him with extreme prejudice and excessive grunting, nearly chopping the media activist's hands off. (More...)

...and people wonder why I counsel against bombing
Reported 2007-07-17 00:28:58
By Michael Bakunin

A DynCorp security employee watches over the A.E.F. destroying poppy fields in Uruzgan. (More...)

Free Paris!
Reported 2007-06-08 11:18:07
By Siduri

Yeah, so Paris got out of jail free, and I for one hope she stays out. Cause I got no time for the haters. I celebrate Paris Hilton. (More...)

It can't happen here
Reported 2007-05-28 13:17:49
By Michael Bakunin

John Yoo has my undying respect. Anyone who can make John Ashcroft into a defender of liberty is an evil genius of the first order. (More...)

Finally, the MSM does some real reporting
Reported 2007-05-24 17:18:43
By JRoyale

Knock, knock, knock... is this thing on? Hello??? Anybody out there? Guess it doesn't matter. Anyways, I'm back, for one article at least, maybe more. So what's all the big deal that drags Johnny Royale out of his drunken stupor? Well, ok, I'm still in a drunken stupor, but I have something to say. (More...)

Fucked in the Head Preacher Dead at 73
Reported 2007-05-15 22:22:45
By Baron Earl

Raving loony Jerry Falwell finally died. He was 73 years old. When he wasn't warning parents that one of the Teletubbies was advocating a gay lifestyle, or blaming "the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians ... the ACLU (and) People for the American Way" for the September 11th attacks, he was working hard as hell to twist the words of Jesus Christ to justify his small-minded, intolerant and bigoted beliefs. (More...)

A little Haldol for the road?
Reported 2007-05-14 14:20:33
By Michael Bakunin

If Homeland Security didn't keep shooting Haldol in my ass, I might be a better person. (More...)

Terms and Conditions
Reported 2007-04-19 22:59:23
By Baron Earl

Most people are familiar with Google AdSense, which produces the ubiquitous column of text ads that appear on just about every web site that's trying to scrape up some advertising dollars. The flip side of this service is called AdWords, where Google takes money from advertisers so that those advertisers appear in Google search results and on AdSense pages. What most people don't know is that Google is perfectly willing to take money from AdWords advertisers selling things that they prohibit their AdSense publishers from publishing. (More...)

Power of the Press
Reported 2007-04-19 22:41:54
By Baron Earl

Bowing to pressure brought on by Pigdog Journal, the Minneapolis Metropolitan Airports Commission has finally caved. Passengers disembarking at the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that they can now catch a cab no matter how much booze they're carrying. (More...)

C'mon, the cossacks work for the czar
Reported 2007-04-18 15:20:55
By Michael Bakunin

I am offensive to the point of insulting. I am chief of staff to the Deputy Attorney General. I have taken a personal leave from the Justice Department! (More...)

The chicken story
Reported 2007-04-13 18:19:34
By Michael Bakunin

So I go to CVS to buy the personal lubricant, for the chicken.. (More...)

..but at the border they told me this was a free country.
Reported 2007-04-08 20:12:49
By Michael Bakunin

George W. Bush: glorify his name or we'll steal your luggage. (More...)