Build Date: Sat Sep 30 22:30:50 2023 UTC
I thought about buying a Miata once. Actually, two Miata's. One for each butt cheek.
-- Master Squid
The Corporate Fuck
Pigdog Journal Articles
2023-04-05
I like the flavor of peppermint, tolerate spearmint, and absolutely hate wintergreen. So why can’t toothpaste companies label their products so I know which of those three very different mint flavors they’re putting in the tube?
2022-04-25
The Arlington County Board gave unanimous approval Saturday to Amazon's plans to build a unique, buttplug-shaped tower as the centerpiece of its emerging second headquarters in northern Virginia. The new Amazon headquarters design takes inspiration from the brief love affair between The Flying Bum and Jeff Bezo's Penis Rocket.
2021-05-10
Expensify filed for their IPO the other day. As required by law they released a statement describing their S-1 filing with the SEC. The announcement was rather dry and formal and legal, as such announcements are, so to give it some zing they had a three-eyed spokesperson read it while eating fish food and gold coins on a 97 second Twitter video.
2011-05-05
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack?
2011-03-31
GE reported global profits of $14.2 billion with $5.1 billion of the total from U.S. operations. Its American tax bill? LESS THAN ZERO. Based on tax laws which G.E. lobbyists helped to write, G.E. managed to claim a tax benefit of $3.2 billion.
2011-03-27
The San Francisco Chronicle has found a new way to keep their newspaper subscribers from canceling their subscriptions -- they don't provide a "Cancel Subscription" option on the Subscriber Services page.
2006-05-23
Buried somewhere in the relatively insignificant annals of this afternoon's secondary or tertiary news stories is a little piece about how the Federal Trade Commission has released its report that Big Oil hasn't been gouging Americans in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, or any time in the last 20 years, for that matter. There's been no market manipulation, no Enron-like scams, no nada. Big Oil has played by all the rules, succumbed to market forces, and otherwise been an upstanding capitalist citizen. Thank gawd the FTC was there to vindicate their buddies! The mind boggles as to what an actual investigation by a non-conflicted FTC might have found.
2004-06-16
Would you like to have a positive impact on copyright law, take a stand against corporate greed, and help put works back in the public domain that belong there? Lawrence Lessig needs your story.
2004-02-01
First CBS executives won't air an ad made by MoveOn.org which asks the very simple question of who is going to pay for the current half trillion dollar deficit we are running. The obvious answer is the children. Duh. But CBS won't run it.
2004-01-31
As anyone who's followed the antics of Adbusters or PETA knows, it's hard to buy airtime for your commercials if your message conflicts with the world view of television executives. Now MoveOn.org has joined the ranks of the rejected when CBS refused to air MoveOn's paid ad Bush in 30 Seconds during this year's Super Bowl.
2002-11-20
As I write this, an oil tanker containing 20 million gallons, less the roughly 2 million gallons that have already leaked out, has broken in half and sunk off the coast of Spain. There are numerous reports as to the ownership of the vessel as well as its "inspection" record in various sketchy ports of call. The ship's owners are quick to defend themselves against potential liability, Spain is jousting with Portugal over who's going to pay for the cleanup, and there are already the usual wildlife casualties of any such toxic disaster. But one thing is conspicuously missing from this whole scenario: The oil's real owner.
2002-11-07
If Martha Stewart ends up going to trial for insider trading, I'll have to have a crash transsexual operation and seek immediate employment with Bear Stearns. Since I'll be a seriously hot woman, the dicks at the firm will want me to start immediately. Who knows, maybe I'll even get down on my knees and suck a couple of sexual harassment settlements out of them before I finish my master plan. That is to commit gross insider trading or massive fraud so that I can be sent to Club Fed and have Martha as my prison bitch.
2002-08-23
So let me get this straight. U.S. oil companies, such as ChevronTexaco and ExxonMobile, have been buying Iraqi oil since 1996 under the oil-for-food program implemented by the UN so that average Iraqis would have food, medical supplies, and a semblance of infrastructure. Now, all of a sudden, those same oil companies are dropping Saddam's crude exports like a Catholic priest drops his boyfriend in the light of day. And according to our "diplomatic sources," the whole reason is because, all this time, Saddam has been skimming money off the top in the form of a surcharge per barrel.
2002-05-29
Yesterday, Dynergy, a large energy company that is in many ways very similar to Enron, announced that it had inflated its revenue streams some 4.5 BILLION dollars through various trading shenanigans - mostly reverse trades.
2002-02-24
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi.
2002-02-06
Staggering up from a holiday-binge induced coma, this correspondent fears a Rip Van Winkle hallucination because it's looking a lot like Italy... in 1939.
2001-12-23
After playing the heavy on piracy issues all over the place, Adobe has been barred from distributing or selling InDesign 1.5 because it contains.... unlicensed software!
2001-12-19
Universal announced on Monday that they will be releasing copy-protected CDs in the US this week - so no longer will citizens be able to excercise their 1st amendment rights of fair use to listen to "their" music how they choose. Corporate Bastards!!!
Offsite links shared by staff writers
2004-03-28
2002-08-22
2002-08-16
2002-02-24
2002-02-20
Listen to the voicemail of Enron, "the world's greatest company". Flash/Audio only
T O P S T O R I E S
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
Health and Human Services officials spend a year on pot
After a yearlong, comprehensive, thorough, complete investigation into the effects of marijuana usage, Health and Human Services (HHS) officials recommended that it be moved from Schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act to Schedule III, meaning that the HHS no longer considers cannabis to be a drug with high abuse potential and no medical value. (More...)
If you've ever wondered what actual bullshit looks like, just check the back side of Lee Meyers' decommissioned police cruiser. Lee chopped the top of the passenger side of the car off so he could take his full-grown Watusi bull, named Howdy Doody, for joy rides around his home town of Neligh, Nebraska. Since the car doesn't have bathroom facilities Howdy Doody just craps all over the back and side of the car whenever he feels the need to let one go. (More...)
Self-righteous assholes block highway to Burning Man
A group of self-righteous assholes converted exactly zero people to their cause by blocking the highway to Burning Man this week. The group, which used a flimsy trailer, some lengths of chain, and a few folding chairs to block the road, put up signs including "Burners of the World Unite," but none of the burners stopped in traffic wanted to unite with them for anything. (More...)
How much force does it take to pull out nose hair?
Have you ever pulled out a nose hair and felt like part of your brain came with it? Have your eyes watered from the extreme pain? Did you wonder how much force it took? Would you pull out 50 more hairs afterwards, using precise measuring instruments, to determine the answer IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE? (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)
Ah, it's that special time of year again. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, crowded, dangerous streets filled with maniac shoppers rushing to the mall to buy Pokemon action figures, and getting hammered at the Xmas party and insulting the boss's hair weave. That's right: it's time to drink heavily and wait out life's little nagging miseries, holiday variety. Pigdog is here to help. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Another Spocktail brought to you by the selfless beveratologists of Spock Mountain Research Labs. You do the math, we'll do the SCIENCE! (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
