Build Date: Tue Jan 20 22:00:55 2026 UTC
I am all like Rasputin and shit. They call me the Ogre Juggernaut...
-- Tjames Madison
We're Professionals, Dammit!
Pigdog Journal Articles
2023-08-12
Tightening of the scrotum is a new trend in plastic surgery. Although the procedure has been rapidly increasing in popularity, no one had thought to scientifically study men's and women's aesthetic preferences as to what makes a good-looking, visually-pleasing scrotum. That oversight has now been corrected, thanks to a study recently published in the Journal of Cosmetic Dermatology.
2018-03-26
It's being released on DVD tomorrow -- but did anyone actually like Star Wars: The Last Jedi? That debate rages on at our sekrit headquarters...
2017-10-19
If you broke into Pigdog's top sekrit headquarters, spying on their mysterious mix of weird science and old-skool geekiness, you'd overhear this conversation:
2017-04-27
"Don't Worry, Driverless Cars Are Learning From Grand Theft Auto!" read a headline at Bloomberg News. And soon an urban legend took root. "Major companies such as Ford and Waymo have been using the game to teach their developing technology how to react in thousands of different driving situations," reports the British tabloid The Sun. There's just one problem with this story: it's not true.
2002-03-07
Pigdog Journal gets a lot of email these days from Canadians displeased with our ongoing effort to inform the world just how much Canadia Sucks. It's pretty much the only thing the entire PDJ editorial staff agrees on... which is staggering considering that we normally have fistfights over trivial issues like who ate the last chocolate-covered old-fashion donut in the Break Room. It is also a rare day that a PDJ staff meeting doesn't end with automatic weapons fire. Trying to get agreement on anything in the staff room is worse then herding a pack of psychotic free-range feral cats.
2002-02-26
In 1969, the Department of Defense, combined with various educational institutions and Al Gore, who was going by his full name "ARPA" at the time, invented the World Wide Web as a way for Bad People of the Future to scream about beer without risk of Communists stealing their thoughts. Then corporate fu><0rs started invoking weird laws like the DMCA, some kind of copyright thing, and anti-defamation laws to shut it all down, First Amendment Bedamned. And it's been working, until Chilling Effects rolled into town.
2002-01-21
"The future of e-zines may be in ratbag ventures such as Pigdog Journal," wrote a reporter in Toronto. And a conservative columnist with a strange moustache has a problem with that....
2001-12-22
That's right folks, all of our collective witticisms are now available on one convenient page for your viewing pleasure.
2001-11-16
Pigdog Journal Computers have passed the milestone of 10 years of CPU time working on the SETI at Home project at UC Berkeley.
2001-11-14
"We are the French revival of Gonzo Journalism !" their self-promoting email read. "Would you agree on a link exchange ?"
2001-09-11
The attack on the World Trade Center triggered shut-downs across the nation. Airports, stock exchanges -- and even broadcasts from the web site The Naked News.
2001-06-27
John Lee Hooker died for your sins.
2001-06-08
Man, I really shouldn't gloat about the demise of another Web magazine. I really shouldn't. I know I shouldn't. But FUCK, I'm going to! Goodbye, Suck dot com! Patsy amateurs! Clear the FLOOR, the man is gonna DANCE.
2001-04-15
China, spy plane, blah blah blah. Is there anywhere you can get a fresh perspective?
2000-10-25
We've waited on the edges of our seats for the so-called "October Suprise" to be revealed in this election year. What would it be? Where would it come from? Well, the waiting is finally over, and you won't believe what it is!
2000-01-20
Beaujolais! Pirate radio is going ON THE AIR! Low power radio stations, bringing ANARCHY and GOOD MUSIC to the bad people of the world! All under the glowing and benificent eye of the FC fucking C! Is this a great century or WHAT?
2000-01-10
I've been in the news biz for many a year, my friend, and I have to say that there is no SADDER SIGHT than seeing the FIRE in a YOUNG JOURNALIST's belly extinguished by the filthy lucre of R.U. Sirius. But what can you say? Some of us have backbones, some of us are men of honor, and others work for tabloid.net.
2000-01-10
Yippity doo dah fuck! AOL and Time Warner, two of the world's largest producers of shoddy and biased information, today announced that they would merge together into one giganto-hugic mound of bullshit-producing crap. Look on, ye mighty, and despair!
1999-11-25
Well, folks, it's the classic Faustian tale: a mediocre nobody whores out his wrinkly pink to the Devil and in turn receives fame, riches, glory. His head gets too big, and he starts thinking he EARNED it. From there, hubris and downfall. And the curtain's a-closing fast on the Matt Drudge story.
1999-11-16
Charged Pigdog hacks have penetrated the notorious London Arms Fair and penned this cynical and blatant HST plagiarism.
1999-08-24
How cool is THIS: Veteran Pigdog Journalist Jeff "No Pants" Gerstmann is back in the ring to take another swing! And this time it's PERSONAL!
1999-08-04
So, the thing is that journalism on the Web is way way way different from, like, following some dumb politician around or going out on Main Street to ask people how cold it is. It takes IRON WILL and BOWELS of STEEL to do reportage on this crazy medium. Few wishy-washy crossovers make the grade -- the Online Journalism Review knows that.
Offsite links shared by staff writers
2020-03-24
2001-06-27
2000-12-02
2000-01-20
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill! (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
