Build Date: Thu Dec 7 07:31:03 2023 UTC
I think there's more to it than meets the eye. Marimba is part of an organized plot of some kind.
-- Ratsnatcher
We're Professionals, Dammit!
Pigdog Journal Articles
2023-08-12
Tightening of the scrotum is a new trend in plastic surgery. Although the procedure has been rapidly increasing in popularity, no one had thought to scientifically study men's and women's aesthetic preferences as to what makes a good-looking, visually-pleasing scrotum. That oversight has now been corrected, thanks to a study recently published in the Journal of Cosmetic Dermatology.
2018-03-26
It's being released on DVD tomorrow -- but did anyone actually like Star Wars: The Last Jedi? That debate rages on at our sekrit headquarters...
2017-10-19
If you broke into Pigdog's top sekrit headquarters, spying on their mysterious mix of weird science and old-skool geekiness, you'd overhear this conversation:
2017-04-27
"Don't Worry, Driverless Cars Are Learning From Grand Theft Auto!" read a headline at Bloomberg News. And soon an urban legend took root. "Major companies such as Ford and Waymo have been using the game to teach their developing technology how to react in thousands of different driving situations," reports the British tabloid The Sun. There's just one problem with this story: it's not true.
2002-03-07
Pigdog Journal gets a lot of email these days from Canadians displeased with our ongoing effort to inform the world just how much Canadia Sucks. It's pretty much the only thing the entire PDJ editorial staff agrees on... which is staggering considering that we normally have fistfights over trivial issues like who ate the last chocolate-covered old-fashion donut in the Break Room. It is also a rare day that a PDJ staff meeting doesn't end with automatic weapons fire. Trying to get agreement on anything in the staff room is worse then herding a pack of psychotic free-range feral cats.
2002-02-26
In 1969, the Department of Defense, combined with various educational institutions and Al Gore, who was going by his full name "ARPA" at the time, invented the World Wide Web as a way for Bad People of the Future to scream about beer without risk of Communists stealing their thoughts. Then corporate fu><0rs started invoking weird laws like the DMCA, some kind of copyright thing, and anti-defamation laws to shut it all down, First Amendment Bedamned. And it's been working, until Chilling Effects rolled into town.
2002-01-21
"The future of e-zines may be in ratbag ventures such as Pigdog Journal," wrote a reporter in Toronto. And a conservative columnist with a strange moustache has a problem with that....
2001-12-22
That's right folks, all of our collective witticisms are now available on one convenient page for your viewing pleasure.
2001-11-16
Pigdog Journal Computers have passed the milestone of 10 years of CPU time working on the SETI at Home project at UC Berkeley.
2001-11-14
"We are the French revival of Gonzo Journalism !" their self-promoting email read. "Would you agree on a link exchange ?"
2001-09-11
The attack on the World Trade Center triggered shut-downs across the nation. Airports, stock exchanges -- and even broadcasts from the web site The Naked News.
2001-06-27
John Lee Hooker died for your sins.
2001-06-08
Man, I really shouldn't gloat about the demise of another Web magazine. I really shouldn't. I know I shouldn't. But FUCK, I'm going to! Goodbye, Suck dot com! Patsy amateurs! Clear the FLOOR, the man is gonna DANCE.
2001-04-15
China, spy plane, blah blah blah. Is there anywhere you can get a fresh perspective?
2000-10-25
We've waited on the edges of our seats for the so-called "October Suprise" to be revealed in this election year. What would it be? Where would it come from? Well, the waiting is finally over, and you won't believe what it is!
2000-01-20
Beaujolais! Pirate radio is going ON THE AIR! Low power radio stations, bringing ANARCHY and GOOD MUSIC to the bad people of the world! All under the glowing and benificent eye of the FC fucking C! Is this a great century or WHAT?
2000-01-10
I've been in the news biz for many a year, my friend, and I have to say that there is no SADDER SIGHT than seeing the FIRE in a YOUNG JOURNALIST's belly extinguished by the filthy lucre of R.U. Sirius. But what can you say? Some of us have backbones, some of us are men of honor, and others work for tabloid.net.
2000-01-10
Yippity doo dah fuck! AOL and Time Warner, two of the world's largest producers of shoddy and biased information, today announced that they would merge together into one giganto-hugic mound of bullshit-producing crap. Look on, ye mighty, and despair!
1999-11-25
Well, folks, it's the classic Faustian tale: a mediocre nobody whores out his wrinkly pink to the Devil and in turn receives fame, riches, glory. His head gets too big, and he starts thinking he EARNED it. From there, hubris and downfall. And the curtain's a-closing fast on the Matt Drudge story.
1999-11-16
Charged Pigdog hacks have penetrated the notorious London Arms Fair and penned this cynical and blatant HST plagiarism.
1999-08-24
How cool is THIS: Veteran Pigdog Journalist Jeff "No Pants" Gerstmann is back in the ring to take another swing! And this time it's PERSONAL!
1999-08-04
So, the thing is that journalism on the Web is way way way different from, like, following some dumb politician around or going out on Main Street to ask people how cold it is. It takes IRON WILL and BOWELS of STEEL to do reportage on this crazy medium. Few wishy-washy crossovers make the grade -- the Online Journalism Review knows that.
Offsite links shared by staff writers
2020-03-24
2001-06-27
2000-12-02
2000-01-20
T O P S T O R I E S
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
Health and Human Services officials spend a year on pot
After a yearlong, comprehensive, thorough, complete investigation into the effects of marijuana usage, Health and Human Services (HHS) officials recommended that it be moved from Schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act to Schedule III, meaning that the HHS no longer considers cannabis to be a drug with high abuse potential and no medical value. (More...)
If you've ever wondered what actual bullshit looks like, just check the back side of Lee Meyers' decommissioned police cruiser. Lee chopped the top of the passenger side of the car off so he could take his full-grown Watusi bull, named Howdy Doody, for joy rides around his home town of Neligh, Nebraska. Since the car doesn't have bathroom facilities Howdy Doody just craps all over the back and side of the car whenever he feels the need to let one go. (More...)
Self-righteous assholes block highway to Burning Man
A group of self-righteous assholes converted exactly zero people to their cause by blocking the highway to Burning Man this week. The group, which used a flimsy trailer, some lengths of chain, and a few folding chairs to block the road, put up signs including "Burners of the World Unite," but none of the burners stopped in traffic wanted to unite with them for anything. (More...)
How much force does it take to pull out nose hair?
Have you ever pulled out a nose hair and felt like part of your brain came with it? Have your eyes watered from the extreme pain? Did you wonder how much force it took? Would you pull out 50 more hairs afterwards, using precise measuring instruments, to determine the answer IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE? (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
