Build Date: Mon Jun 17 11:30:13 2024 UTC

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-- Rita Rudner

El Snatcher

Raised by anacondas in a South American rain forest (or born and abandoned in a Memphis laundromat, and brought up by Quakers, depending on whose version of the "truth" you want to believe,) El Snatcher is Pigdog's fiercest attack journalist, a hillbilly icon born and bred to unearth diamonds lost in shitpiles and uncloak Bad People in angelic disguise wherever they lurk.

Three-time winner of the Pigdog "Most Likely to Harbor a Deeply Personal Lifetime Grudge Award," Snatcher spends his days and nights cloaked in mystery on Spock Mountain, an enigmatic figure in a blood-spattered lab coat lurking the labyrinth hallways of his Super Sekrit MegaResearch laboratory in an undisclosed location, where he performs myriad and inhuman experiments on all forms of human and whatnot matter. Rumors have it that El Snatcher lives on a diet that consists solely of broiled and grilled large meat and fresh beaujolais from his private reserve.

El Snatcher has an undying, pitbull jaw-clamping-like hatred for people who say things like: "Let's go debunk old granny ESP ladies and laugh in their faces! HAHA HA We are SO SMARTY PANTY! We did a sting on that old dowser guy! hahah! Everything not endorsed by Nature magazine is a fraud!! Let's get them real good, har har! And we're HIPPIES! We're BAD HIPPIES at the same time!! YaY!! I am a vegetarian skeptic boy HIPPIE!!! We spy on people with our telescopes while we're barefoot!! And this is our club. We all LOVE TO LOVE Carl Sagan together in paradise. Let's watch Star Track and masturbate!! Yay!!"

Pigdog Journal Articles

2007-09-09

Alex Jones manhandled and arrested on trumped-up charges by NYPD!
Last night in New York City, a big monster cop raced into a crowd of demonstrators during an early street action for the 9/11 anniversary, specifically singling out documentary filmmaker and popular talk show host, Alex Jones, and handcuffed him with extreme prejudice and excessive grunting, nearly chopping the media activist's hands off.

2002-04-12

High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists.

2001-11-25

802.11b and Absinthe
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves?

2001-07-05

Walken Super Dance
Christopher Walken launches his music video career.

2001-03-06

Scoundrel: A New Concept For Searching P2P
One problem still haunts the peer-to-peer (P2P) world: how the hell do you find anything? Traditional search engines are impractical because by the time a P2P network has been spidered, the makeup of the network and the content will probably have changed. Real-time keyword searches are too slow. Yahoo-style index pages don't cut it. We need some crazy new ideas. Enter Scoundrel...

2000-12-31

Iowa Armageddon
Pigdog dispatched special correspondent Ratsnatcher for a holiday reconnaissance of America's frozen hell. After ten days of silence, our shortwave radio cackled with Ratsnatcher's static-filled transmission.

2000-08-19

Walken Fan Club Materializes
Hey Crazy: join the Christopher Walken fan club! Free membership and everything! Dang. As I sit here drinking wine and listening to pirated Gnotella Willie Nelson music, it occurs to me that everyone should join this club right away...

2000-07-24

Secret Society Goes Crazy in The Wine Country
Leaders of government, big business and even leading scientists go to The Wine Country to do freaky occult shenanigans that make the rituals of the average masonic lodge seem like a puppet show. Check out the recent video evidence!

1999-11-16

Hunter on the New Porsche Carrera 4
Tired of wimpy Japanese sports cars? Then stop buying them for crissakes!!! Buy your next sports car from the evil Germans! Porsche is the only car company confident enough to have Hunter test drive its best car. And what a car it is... full bore, flashy, and able to leap tall Colorodo mountains without even breathing hard.

1999-10-24

Lego DEATHSTORMS
Every treatise I've ever read about how terrible "war toys" are mentions Lego building bricks as a constructive alternative. HA HA HA! Who are these people kidding?! Kids just make their own horrendous DEATH MACHINES out of Legos! The only problem: not enough olive drab bricks. But now an evil German toy company is making near-perfect knock-off Lego bricks. And they have tanks, missile launchers, army guys, and attack helicopter sets! Everything you always wanted!

1999-09-28

Pigdog Content Refresh Bug
You've probably been studying on why there has been so little content this month. And, like, why there aren't any crazy stories about skunks, or skunk-apes! Hits are way down, and everyone's all just sitting thar, staring at the screen, sick to death of hitting reload just to be rewarded with the same old crapola. What we need is new crapola, NEW CRAPOLA. Okay, so I'm gonna tell you what happened...

1999-08-25

www.cyberbilly.com Opens Its Doors...
Fella, yo' eatin' enough meat? ah's gonna tale yo' about Meathenge. Thays got this hyar hillbilly fella named of a Mr. Biggles. See, thet fella likes t'burn meats up on whutevah grill yo' an' me an' he kin git fired up. It's real fine now. Especially, he liken them pigs. An' nobody kin stop him! Fry mah hide!

1999-08-24

Communion Anal Probe Scene Museum
Many people consider Christopher Walken's finest acting job to be his roll in The Deer Hunter, the 1978 film about the effects of Vietnam. He garnered the Best-Supporting-Actor Oscar for it. However, his true tour de force is Communion, a greatly under appreciated film about bad, buggerin' aliens.

1999-08-11

Monumental Christopher Walken Newsletter
Did you know that early in his career Christopher Walken was in musicals, and he sang, and he wore a white-hair wig like an English judge? Can you imagine how frightening that must have been?

1999-08-10

Touch-Tone Hillbilly Terrorism
Check out these FREAKS who call people up on the phone and pretend to be RETARDED HILLBILLIES (Why didn't I think of that??). My sides hurt from laughing so hard. These are some bad, bad people.

1999-08-05

Send Mail to the Future
Attention all Bad People of the Future, I've recently discovered a cool new service on the Web that let's you send email INTO THE FUTURE. It's from the crazy Dave Winer guy over at Userland Software.

1999-08-05

Blair Witch Not the First 'Recovered Footage' Flick?
There is buzz right now that "The Blair Witch Project" may have been heavily influenced by an earlier independent film called "The Last Broadcast." But could it be that BOTH movies took a page from a weird alien-abduction HOAX television special that ran on UPN in early 1998?

1999-08-04

Spock Mountain Pictures From Last Year's Burning Man
Pigdog had a friggin' BLAST at Burning Man '98. Check out the official picture gallery, including pictures or our BOMB-ASS hillbilly shack. This material has been offline for several months, but now it's back... extra optimized, extra crazy.

1999-08-03

China Uses Info-War Techniques to Suppress Religious Following
Maybe you haven't heard: the latest craziness happening in China is the large-scale protests against the recent banning of the heretofore little known New Age religion known as Falun Gong (pronounced fah-luhn gung). The Chinese government has launched an all out campaign against the estimated two million followers in China, including mass arrests, and BRUTAL propaganda attacks, which have now spilled onto the Internet.

1999-07-28

R. U. Sirius Debuts New Wrestling Magazine
Actually, it's not ALL about wrestling, there are also tons of raunchy sex articles, which is exactly what you might expect from something entitled, "Gettingit."

1999-07-24

Deep Inside Linus Torvalds
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one!

1999-07-20

Blood-Thirsty Rats Back in Deutschland
It's RAT SEASON once again. Germany is overrun as usual. Dog size rats are moving in too feed on Frankfurt, and police have had their first brutal battle with the rodents this year...

1999-07-20

The Case of the Full-Tilt Backpedal
The Internet is supposedly an unrestricted medium available to anyone who wants to express him/herself. You can put a Web site up and talk about blaw blaw blaw, and instantly it will be available to millions of people. Nobody can censor what you have to say... That's the mythology anyway.

1999-07-18

Art Bell Intimidates Montana Service Provider?
Earth Changes TV is accusing talk show host Art Bell of intimidating Montana service provider Big Sky Network Technologies (bigsky.net) into canceling the account of one of his most vocal critics. This has allegedly been going on during Art's sympathetic coverage of the protest of the management takeover of free speech radio station KPFA in Berkeley. Is Art a big hypocrite?

1999-07-15

Apple Will Reveal Cool, iMac-like Laptop!
Steve Jobs will show off a new CRAZY LOOKING laptop at the MacWorld convention in New York next week, aimed at students, home users, and cheapskates. The new portable has a massively reengineered architecture and a wacky new case.

1999-07-12

Swinger Conference GETS IT ON in Reno! YEAH Baby!!!
Swarming swingers descended on Reno Nevada -- like LOCUSTS -- to attend the "Lifestyles '99 Reno Rendezvous" convention (July 7 - 10), and hear hedgehog-man RON JEREMY explain how NOT to break the law while engaging in wild wife swapping ACTION!

1999-07-10

Earth Changes TV (ECTV) Covers the Talk Show Wars
The "Earth Changes TV" web site, which bills itself as "the site for people who are interested in the unknown yet have an intuition that 'something big is about to happen'," has a new weblog-like page covering the Talk Show Wars! Yet ANOTHER good site tracking the conflict between Art Bell and his former guests, as well as the many other parties involved.

1999-07-10

Y6B: Citizens of Earth: Reduce Birthrate or Face Certain DOOOOOOM!
Everyone is getting fed up with the constant CHANTING about Y2K. Even Ed Yourdon, bigshot mainframe guy, and author of Timebomb 2000, who did A LOT to spread awareness (more like panic) about Y2K is backing off the subject, saying, hey, there's nothing more I can do. (I assume he's retreated into his multi-million dollar, plushed out bomb shelter purchased with the proceeds of his book.) So it's time for something ELSE to go CRAZY about. So how about "Y6B" (the year of 6 billion)?

1999-07-09

Art Bell Fires a Warning Shot Across the Pigdog Bow?
Yesterday, while checking the Pigdog Journal feedback system, I was surprised to see a letter from influential talk show host Art Bell, asking if we would mind giving him a phone call. He wanted to talk about our recent article, which is about his attempts to manage the information coming out about his feud with the former guests of his program, David John Oates and Robert A. M. Stephens.

1999-07-08

Talk Show Wars Spin-Doctoring Backfires
Like an old-fashioned minister of information, Art Bell has tried to control the propaganda coming from his opponents, and failed. Apparently unaware of the famous aphorism that the Net routes around censorship, he has tried persuasion and cajoling to shut down opposing viewpoints on web sites and discussion forums. But it hasn't worked.

1999-07-07

Web Search Engines Are Falling Down on the Job!
Scientists say that all of the search engines -- AltaVista, Google, Excite, etc., etc., -- have absolutely MISERABLE performance, and they are getting WORSE. Not a single engine has indexed more than 16% of the Web's estimated 800 million pages.

1999-07-07

Sqrats Go Commercial Too Soon
Just like it happened with the "chupacabra" (AKA: goat sucker), a designer/artist type is hawking a bunch of t-shirts and other items emblazoned with renditions of a cryptozoological enigma. This time it's the sqrat -- a creature purported to be half squirrel and half rat, having the temperament of a vicious attack dog.

1999-07-02

Talk Show Host Blames Downfall on Chatroom Vixens
A pornographic photo of wild Australian talk show host David Oates has been making the rounds of the web. It has become the centerpiece in a multimillion dollar law suit, and countersuit, between Art Bell and Oates. The issue at hand is, how did this nasty photo get on the web in the first place?

1999-07-02

Wild Updated Mailbag!
We have TONS of new mail in the Pigdog Mailbag for you to peruse. Everything from whiny messages from Matt Drudge, to the bewildering ramblings of drunken foreigners, to a real good screed by one of weirdo talk show host David Oates' former girlfriends (ex-fiancée apparently) who has some things to say about the recent Talk Show Wars. You don't want to miss this!!

1999-06-30

Radio Talk Show Host Hits Below the Belt
"Reverse Speech" huckster and talk show host David Oates' sputtering career has been utterly rewound by Art Bell. Oates swears in an affidavit -- part of an abortive attempt to get a restraining order against Art Bell -- that Art and his radio network, Jacor, used their combined muscle to intimidate Talk Radio Networks into firing him. He goes on to say that to top it all off, Art posted a link to a disgusting nude photo of Oates, which was placed on the Net by a former chatroom girlfriend.

1999-06-28

Careless Canadians Foster Virulent Gopher Strain
It turns out that Canadians have been overusing pesticides, dumping as many and as much poison as they can on the land in a willy-nilly fashion in an attempt to beat back the gopher population. This irresponsible behavior may have created a new pesticide resistant SUPER GOPHER (AKA: ground squirrel). It's hard to decide whether this should go in the "Canadia Sucks" or the "Animal Rampage" category.

1999-06-28

How Yo Git PPP T'Wawk on Yer Linux Box
Hell, ah used t'run a whole netwawk on over PPP wif a modem fo' years. It's real easy. I'll show yo' how right now.

1999-06-24

Sqrats: The New Rodent Super Weapon
Despite deep-seated mistrust and hostility, the two most powerful groups of tough, inner-city rodents -- squirrels and rats -- have formed an evolutionary alliance to secure their bailiwick of sewers, city parks and other public works, as well as to further encroach upon human territory and food supplies. For the first time in history, squirrels and rats have put aside their differences, deciding to MATE, in order to create a more deadly, hybrid "master" rodent race.

1999-06-21

Stonehenge Solstice Ceremonies Turn Ugly
Hundreds of bad hippies, scofflaw witches, and drunken ravers stormed the Stonehenge monuments during the summer solstice last weekend, dancing on top of the monoliths and interrupting the official druid ceremonies. Riot police were called in and battled the revelers for hours with vicious dogs, billy clubs, and horse units.

1999-06-17

Paranoid Talk Show Host Hides From Art Bell Fans In Montana Bunker
In the fine tradition of the Unibomber and the Montana Freemen, "reverse speech" expert and talk show host, David Oates, has retreated to a Montana compound in fear for his life.

1999-06-14

Old Java Wine in New Box
As you know, there are billions of web application servers now -- Cold Fusion, ASP, PHP, Zope, and whatnot. That's how you can make dynamical web pages with server-side scripting and put a daterbase on your site. Well, it was only a matter of time before they put some Java on the pot. Get ready for Java Server Pages (JSP).

1999-06-09

Elephant Gang Stomps Villagers in Vietnam
A gang of eight rampaging elephants have killed five people in the Binh Thuan province of Vietnam. The ruthless creatures have been traveling from province to province, damaging crops, and stomping on helpless villagers who are unable to defend themselves against the four legged behemoths because of animal protection laws.

1999-06-09

Nasty Review of New Hunter S. Thompson Compilation CD
Who gives a crap what Hunter has to say about music? That's the question Everett True of The Stranger (www.stranger.com) asks. He didn't like EMI U.K.'s Songbook Series CDs, a new series of personal musical compendiums by "left field" artists, including super author Hunter S. Thompson, and gonzo artist Ralph Steadman. He may have a point, but he goes too far, when he calls Hunter "a sad fuck."

1999-06-04

Jerry Springer May Defect to England
Jerry Springer has been lying low since the latest episodes of his show were yanked from syndication by a nervous Studios USA. Now it looks like he may jump ship to British television, where they aren't afraid to handle risque topics, such as marrying your horse, and the whole bare-knuckle, down and dirty, gossip talk show format.

1999-05-28

Art Bell Releases Vicious Attack Lawyer
Crazy! I don't know whether anyone has been reading our coverage of Art Bell's net war with Robert M. Stevens and David John Oates, the "Reverse Speech" guru, but it's fun to write about because it keeps getting crazier. Now the conflict has gone nuclear. Tonight on Coast to Coast, Art Bell announced that he has filed a 60 MILLION DOLLAR DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER LAWSUIT against the two former guests.

1999-05-26

Jerry Springer Sanitized!
There has always been a purity to the Jerry Springer show. Over the years, it has become nastier, and increasingly brutal, and it has come to represent the ultimate distillation of trash talk show television. A classic for all time! It was just too good to last. Now, the show has been castrated--right at the end of sweeps week...

1999-05-25

Free Stickers from the STW Alien Resistance Movement
If you too are getting fed up with aliens (especially the Zeta Reticulans, AKA "grays") and all of this kidnapping, perverse reproduction experimentation, mutilation of livestock, and skulking about in flying saucers all the time, now you can fight back with FREE stickers, and other alien resistance stuff!

1999-05-23

Masonic Ritual 1: Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
Star Wars characters are modern day representations of Egyptian gods? Anakin Skywalker actually Osiris? We should have suspected something masonic afoot when George Lucas started making movies like Raiders of of the Lost Ark, and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, with all that business about the Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail -- occult mythology deeply related to Freemasonry...

1999-05-22

Is Someone Trying to Silence Art Bell?
While you drive along in your hillbilly truck listening to the various radio talkshows, you probably are unaware that there is a fierce battle going on behind the scenes, and on the net. These nighttime talkshow hosts and their guests can be meaner and more ornery than pole cats! This is the latest...

1999-05-05

US Survival Tips for Aussies
Hey this is fun. It's "US Survival Tips for Aussies." They think we're practically aliens here, because we don't spread vegemite all over everything, use mayonnaise on sandwiches instead of butter, and only feed milo to our cattle and pigs.

1999-04-30

Talk Show Wars
Art Bell has enemies who are very bad people, so you have to take any information coming from them with a grain of salt, but weird, bad craziness is afoot. Art Bell has been off the air for three weeks, and his lame stand-in, Hilly Rose, is boring everyone to tears. Now one of his former guests, Robert A.M. Stephens, is claiming that Art was actually suspended for making veiled threats against him during his final broadcast. Apparently, Art wore a pirate shirt that night and talked about slitting throats.

1999-04-30

Emaciated Pigdog Mailbag
So far this year we haven't been getting as much feedback as we would like. We've only received one nasty letter, one threat, and barely any feedback on the stories we've been kicking down. We really appreciate the feedback you know. How else are we supposed to know what to put up? Do you like the squirrel reports? Do you want more special gardening information? What do you want? Write something... Freaks.

1999-04-27

Crazy Art Bell Knockoffs
Wired may be right that Art Bell is "tired" (see this April's Wired magazine), but the suggested "wired" alternative, 21st Century radio, is way too lame. If you're sick of Art Bell, the real alternatives are the Jeff Rense show and the Laura Lee Show.

1999-04-21

Gothic Teen Media Makeover
We've been mulling over the "goth" aspects of the Denver shootings all day, and it's been obvious to us from the beginning that the shooters were not goths but instead were some kind of psychotic neo-NAZI rejects. It's amazing how CNN/CBS/ABC/NBC/XXX wont do even RUDIMENTARY investigative journalism anymore, or even basic fact checking, and how they only focus on a few sensational details of a story... in this case erroneous details.

1999-04-21

Going Down...
It really sucks that Memepool (www.memepool.com) had this before us, but this link is so good that I have to put it up anyway. Most pin-up art is a little creepy with its overstated female sexpots dressed in various exhibitionist getups, and whatnot, but in all of kitsch history nothing really compares well to Art Frahm's bizarre series of paintings known as, "Panties Falling Down."

1999-04-08

Bad Toilet Browser
Spock Mountain Research Labs hit the Mozilla party with full force this year. There were so many lab coats that half the people there thought that we were putting the party on. We danced like freaks, drank recklessly, and TALKED SHIT. And then Upside Magazine came and talked to us!!

1999-03-11

Canadian Army Developing Combat Super-bras
Imagine humping 25 miles a day and then having to violently fling yourself into an enemy foxhole or tunnel, wildly stabbing everyone you encounter with your steely bayonet. Imagine doing that every single day for a week--without showering, without changing your clothes. Imagine that you are Canadian, and you have huge tits!

1999-02-24

Nasty Rutting Skunks Invade Home
It's one thing to have to watch the pornographic sexual acts of animals on public television stations, but how would you like to have your home turned into a disgusting SKUNK BORDELLO? With skunks engaging in raucous intercourse under your floor boards?

1999-02-24

Hunter Does Nash Bridges
An incredible turn of events! Gonzo founder Hunter S. Thompson has written a new script for Don Johnson's horrible "Nash Bridges" television show. The episode will be about a rancorous drug dealer who turns San Francisco's body builders into crazed killers by feeding them SUPER STERIODS!!! Pro wrestlers are involved. The only problem is, who can bear to watch "Nash Bridges"?

1999-02-22

India Cracks Down on Monkey Menace
Last year, there were more cases of monkey terrorism than in any other recorded year. It's about time that some country got tough on animal crime. Read about India's new campaign to round up monkeys, put them in jail and deport them!

1999-02-18

New Telebubbies Goofouts
Oh my goodness. We haven't been paying attention. After being down all January, New Ground Atomix has two new Macromedia Flash Telebubby goofouts!! In response to Jerry Falwell's nutty claims about homosexual alien babies being roll models for toddlers, there's a new adventure in which Dinky Winky RE-EVALUATES HIS LIFESTYLE with a visit to his "persecuted pals," Burt and Ernie. Then, there's a bizarre scene with Poe and his pimp friend, Tyrone, involving sheep and some sort of facial wash. We can't figure that one out, but it's REAL GOOD...

1999-02-17

Pigdog Journal Blacklisted by CCKR!
Inexplicably, Pigdog Journal has recently been BLACKLISTED by "The Unofficial Kim Rollins Fan Club" and "The Committee to Canonize Kim Rollins" (CCKR)!!

1999-02-17

Subliminal Seduction and Windows 95
It is widely believed that Microsoft has become the dominant force in desktop computing by the use of anti-competitive practices, such as product tying, dumping (e.g.: Internet Explorer), and strong-arming vendors. But what if the truth is something even darker...

1999-02-16

We're Back -- After A Terrible Ordeal!
We're back on track again. We're sorry about the lack of new content during the last couple of weeks. It's a terrible ordeal we've been through here... Thanks for sticking with us! Everyone should be glad to know that the culprits responsible for all of this are now safely in jail...

1998-12-18

Furby Death Machine
The creators of "Telebubby Fun Land," New Ground Atomix, have a new evil web machine for killing Furbies! Apparently, New Ground Atomix specializes in making really funny and bizarre web toys. The site has really taken off since they started fooling around with Shockwave. They even have their own t-shirts now.

1998-12-17

Soviets Backed Open Source Software in the '80s?
THIS IS COMPLETELY CRAZY: Check out this news article, which claims that recently-released KGB documents show that, during the 1980s, various Open Source projects, including some developed by the Free Software Foundation, unknowingly received money from the Soviet government totaling more than $175,000!! Is it fake?

1998-12-15

Cyberstrike Follow-Up
The BBC is running an article today, reminiscent of a Pigdog article posted over the weekend, about the UK cyberstrike against metered local calling, and Bob Glickstein's call for a general strike of computer professionals in the 33 countries that signed the Wassenaar agreement, an international treaty that imposes new restrictions on cryptographic software technology. The article also mentions several other similar online "strikes" throughout Europe, and a protest to free two imprisoned Chinese scientists. The trend is clear: CRAZY ONLINE BOYCOTTS. And once again, Pigdog Journal SCOOPS.

1998-12-14

Blond Bimbo Rapists
Yes, men can be raped, it happens all the time... (see http://www.arlington.com/~pmouth/wetspot84.html). The latest female serial-rapists are the "VIAGRA RAPE SQUAD," a London band of blond bimbos who lure unsuspecting men up to hotel rooms, pump them full of Viagra and have their way with them while guzzling vodka straight from the bottle!

1998-12-12

Cyberstrike Now!
The latest tactic in computer politics is to go _on strike_. Web users in the UK are trying to organize a kingdom-wide "CYBERSTRIKE" for tomorrow (12-13-1998) to protest price gouging by British Telecom.

1998-12-11

Bad Kid Deletes Resume!
Kent Dahlgren II's resume has been taken off-line! It looks like the URL has really been making the rounds. It appeared in today's _Need To Know_ (http://www.ntk.net/), so maybe he was getting too many hits and that's why he pulled it. Luckily, we managed to grab a copy of it out of a browser cache. So now you can peruse the official Pigdog archived copy! PIGDOG CANNOT BE STOPPED!

1998-12-11

2000-Year-Old Vampire Enters Plea
The latest vampire to be caught in San Francisco is now worming his way through the legal system. How many times in the last 2000 years has he been tried an convicted? Can we really take these legal antics seriously? Of course, his plea is "not guilty." The legal system can't get tough on vampires because it doesn't acknowledge that they exit!

1998-12-10

Used Condom In McDonald's Chicken Bun
It's happened AGAIN... A disgusting foreign object has been found in a value meal. As if McDonald's food wasn't blecherous enough to begin with, a Wisconsin woman recently bit into a McDonald's Chicken Bun sandwich, and almost choked to death on a used condom!

1998-12-08

The Rollins/Shipley Break-up
NET LOSS: Find out the latest scoop on the Shipley/Rollins break-up HERE.

1998-12-08

Hire This Bad Kid Now!
OBJECTIVE: Find a job where the people I work with aren't all against me. Also, I'd like to find a job where the boss doesn't pick on me. I'm thinking of someday being my own boss. I want to make a lot of money. I need some creative space so I can make things. I want to have the extra time to enjoy the things I'm interested in, like partying and seeing some bands....I am very handy with a hammer, but I think my calling is in sales or customer relations. I'm a people person. I spent a week with my step dad in Arizona and he taught me how to weld. I've become very interested lately in pyrotechnics. Maybe a job starting fires would be cool. Hey, I'm flexible. I just need a goddammed job. If I don't get a job soon, I'll be forced to take up that offer that recruiter from the ARMY gave me....

1998-12-07

Horsey Serial Killer Strikes Again
True, animals can be dangerous, but people tend to like horses for some reason. We've managed to domesticate most of the violent urges out of equines. Some people even marry horses now (crazy but true). That's why it's hard to understand violence against them. In one of our most vicious hillbilly states, Arkansas, lurks a serial killer of horses. Authorities have been tracking him for some time. In the middle of the night, some time last weekend, 10 horses were stabbed and slashed for no good reason at all...

1998-12-07

UK Takes Lead In Bestiality
The United States media is still controlled by puritanical censors who want to manipulate everything you hear and see! Once again, these bastards are putting a damper on our entertainment industry's creative edge! Other countries are zooming in to fill the niche, and this country is being left in the DUST. What we're talking about is network television's latest frontier: bestiality. And the British are now winning the race!! The United Kingdom's Channel 4 is gearing up to broadcast a huge bestiality special...

1998-12-04

Dog Fights Off Murderous Deer
Imagine if you went outside one day to get the paper, and you were confronted by a menacing, hulking, 150-pound deer buck with murder in its eyes! That's exactly what happened to a Louisiana man recently. One of these hoofed monsters tried to pull his stomach guts out with razor-sharp antlers! If it wasn't for this man's little weenie dog, he would surely be dead...

1998-11-24

Jake Busey Dazzles Audiences As 'Krug'
The latest Jake Busey vehicle, ENEMY OF THE STATE, is a creepy, paranoid thriller focusing on the shadowy world of satellite surveillance, communications monitoring, and secret intelligence agencies. Jake Busy is "Krug," the perfect "Black Ops" thug--an NSA operative, and former marine, who spent some time in the stockade for assault on a superior officer...

1998-11-22

Chocolate New Wonder Medicine
Can it really be true that everything we eat that tastes good is bad for us? I've often intuitively felt that things like beer, and pizza -- the soul food of programmers -- HAVE TO BE good for you. I have absolutely no proof for this position, but now the BBC is reporting that chocolate is the new health wonder drug, according to the latest research. Chocolate is a powerful immune system booster. Chocolate is just plain good medicine. So gobble some up right away.

1998-11-22

Skeptics Pelt Art Bell With Rocks and Garbage
Radio talk show host Art Bell has received the Skeptic's nastiest slight, the "Snuffed Candle" award. Bell, they say, has encouraged credulity, presented pseudo-science as genuine, and contributed to the public's lack of understanding of the methods of scientific inquiry. Twisting the knife, they go on to insinuate that he may be partially responsible for the Heaven's Gate suicides last year. But are the Skeptics really being fair?

1998-11-18

Busey Clan Receives Cold Net Reception
Many Leonardo DiCaprio fan site developers are showing little or no interest in extending/enhancing their sites to also promote Jake Busey. But the campaign continues...

1998-11-16

Great Pyramid To Receive New Gold Capstone
The Associated Press is reporting that to celebrate the turn of the millennium the Egyptian government is planning to replace the missing capstone of the Great Pyramid at Giza with a new GOLDEN CAPSTONE. But only for ONE NIGHT. Zahi Hawass, the powerful and well-known caretaker of the Giza Plateau monuments, is also proposing that the Great Pyramid be closed to the public FOREVER. Forever is a long time, and why go to all the trouble just to cap the Pyramid for one night? Could there be an ulterior motive?

1998-11-14

The Trephination Clinic Will Drill Your Brain Real Good!
"Today, we can offer more than just trepanning (cranial ventilation). Modern surgical techniques allow you to choose as much or as little brain modification to best suit your lifestyle -- from simple Trephination; to lobotomy; to complete decephalization.

1998-11-12

A lot of UK Judges are Freemasons!
So the Freemasons are just an innocent group of friendly golfer types who get together to talk shop, and help each other in business. Sort of a "gentleman's club," if you will. Right? Then why is the British Government so WORRIED about Freemasons, and forcing the judges, police, and EVEN PRISON GUARDS to come clean about their involvement in the ancient society?! The BBC is reporting that the Masons have bowed to pressure to name names!

1998-11-12

Vampires are killing our homeless people!
Dear Police, Media: Thanks for telling us that we had an evil vampire slasher stalking the streets of San Francisco, slitting the throats of homeless people, drinking their blood, and painting occult symbols around the crime scene. Are there any OTHER slashers we should know about still out there? Would you bother to tell us?

1998-11-11

Alien Attacks Dog!!!
There's a new report of a case of a man who was walking his dog in the woods when suddenly an alien popped out, and viciously killed and mutilated his dog. The man became OUTRAGED, and bashed the alien to death with a large tree branch. MIBs were involved... some mysterious deaths... and the alien body got stolen along the way. But not before the man managed to snap some fantastic pictures of the gruesome remains of the alien and its flying saucer!!! He even managed to record its death scream!

1998-11-09

A Couple of Alien Quickies...
Some quick ALIEN RELATED stories: First, someone keeps pestering our UFO researchers in this country. A UFO researcher named Michael Unam was run off the road by a mysterious truck while collecting data on the Devil's Highway, Route 666.

1998-11-06

SETI Makes First Contact?
You may or may not have heard the buzz about alien signals coming from EQ Pegasi... In a nutshell, an engineer named Paul Dore who bootlegged time on a SETI-style radio telescope discovered special alien signals coming from something in the direction of the star system known as EQ Pegasi.

1998-11-04

Spock Beer!
The latest cool Spock thing is... BEER! Why didn't we think of this?

1998-11-04

Johnny R. And Snatcher go CRAZY!!!
El Snatcher and Johnny are too stupid to stop drinking at 6:00 AM... Full Details later...

1998-11-03

Leonardo DiCaprio Exposed Is A Freemason!
What the fuck would we ever do with out the Internet? This kind of important stuff never makes it onto MSNBC, CNN, and whatnot. Several key scenes in the movie Total Eclipse, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, are actually depictions of special masonic rituals that Leonardo DiCaprio performed in real life upon turning 21, and being initiated as a Master Mason of the first three degrees!!! Coincidence Theorists might have been safe ruling these scenes all a big coincidence if a German television network hadn't captured DiCaprio on tape admitting to being a Freemason.

1998-11-03

Ninjas Being Lynched In Jakarta
The UK's Independent has been doing lots of articles on the NINJA PROBLEM IN JAKARTA lately. Apparently, Indonesian police are rounding up mentally ill people in eastern Java to stop them from being lynched by mobs, who believe them to be the mysterious killers known as ninjas. Up to 160 people have died at the hands of the latter, and a growing vigilante backlash is claiming more lives!!! Don't believe this is real? Follow the link and read the story.

1998-11-03

Erich Von Daniken On Art Bell!
Eric Von Daniken, discredited author of the famous book, CHARIOTS OF THE GODS? will be interviewed on the Art Bell's Coast To Coast program, this Friday (11/06/98). This guy doesn't make it out of the woodwork very often, so this a rare interview! Von Daniken is the inventor of the "ancient astronauts" theory. Don't miss this one!!!

1998-11-03

Oliver Stone Pushing TWA Conspiracy Theory
The Disease of the Week is: CONSPIRACY!!! So, Oliver Stone is gonna have a crazy made-for-TV movie about TWA Flight 800, which some people say was shot down by a missile over the Atlantic. The AP reports that the Feds are hopping mad at Stone for making the flick. Of course, you know, FACTS are so important that they should only be handled by experts... Check out the full story, eh?

1998-10-05

Flying Squirrels Terrorize Family!
Damn them! The squirrels have attacked again -- this time in a family home in Michigan. A gang of delinquent flying squirrels -- the worst kind! -- have made this family's life hell. Bad, bad squirrels!

1998-10-05

Insurance Against Aliens
Finally, an insurance company is offering an insurance policy against alien abduction.

Offsite links shared by the author

2002-05-28

Annu $20 Bill
Have you seen the pair of secret images that become visible only by folding the new $20 Federal Reserve note a certain way?

2001-11-29

Excellent Christopher Walken-inspired Electronica
'UNIGLORY': Fantastico Christopher Walken-inspired Electronica ('Onscreen' is especially beauty.)

2001-01-26

2000-12-08

Chemtrail Central
New Chemtrail Weblog, Chemtrail Central ('...Searching for Answers in the Chemtrail / Contrail Issue')

2000-12-08

Yeti@Home
YETI@Home is a scientific experiment that harnesses the power of hundreds of thousands of Internet-connected computers in the search for giant ape-like creatures (YETI).

2000-04-25

Spook
'Spook... is a distributed web based artwork which explores issues of surveillance, tracking and covert activity on the web in an interactive website based on the conventions of computer games.'

2000-04-11

The Franlin Mint's new 'Roswell Incident Official Eyewitness Sculpture'!!!!!!!!
The Franklin Mint's new 'Roswell Incident Official Eyewitness Sculpture'!!!!!!!!

2000-03-10

Mission to Mars
NASA scoffs at 'Face on Mars' theory, then helps Disney develop "Mission to Mars," a 120-million-dollar blockbuster about the coverup of a massive humanoid face on the Red Planet.

1999-11-12

xechelon.org
'xechelon.org's purpose is to inform people of Echelon's existence and provide them tools and information with which they can loudly object to and thwart this pervasive government surveilance network.'

1999-08-18

Led Zeppelin bumper stickers PROBABLE CAUSE for a vehicular search
Konformist: New Illinois law -- Led Zeppelin bumper stickers PROBABLE CAUSE for a vehicular search...

1999-08-18

French fatten pigs and poultry with sewage!
UK Times: Major health risk -- disgusting French fatten pigs and poultry with sewage!

1999-08-09

Walken In My Shoes
'Walken In My Shoes' -- The First Brazilian Christopher Walken Site (Bad Geocities)...

1999-08-07

BBC: Yugoslavs are creating a new 'cybernation'...
BBC: 'Birth of a Cybernation' -- Yugoslavs have created a bizarre virtual country that will 'go live' Sept. 9th. Anyone can be a citizen, and a minister.

1999-08-05

CNN's 'Insurgence on the Internet'
'Insurgence on the Internet' -- CNN's "in depth" special on hacking and computer security.

1999-07-27

Russian Hackers Busy Stealing U.S. Weapons Secrets!
U.K. Sunday Times -- Russian Hackers Busy Stealing U.S. Weapons Secrets!

1999-07-15

1999-07-15

Net Chess Players Give Kasparov Trouble
After his humiliating defeat by IBM's 'Deep Blue' chess computer, Azerbaijani chess master Garry Kasparov is having trouble with Internet chess players...

1999-07-15

1999-07-14

Kesey, Pranksters and bus set for U.K. gig
Ken Kesey packs decrepit, drug-free Pranksters into Magic Bus for UK 'Search for Merlin' Tour...

1999-06-17

1999-05-28

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

T O P   S T O R I E S

GNUPG! You need to get some ENCRYPTION, BUB.

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