Build Date: Sat May 18 14:20:12 2024 UTC
Maximum strength opiates barely dull the buzzsaw katzenjammering in my head...
-- Ratsnatcher
El Snatcher
Raised by anacondas in a South American rain forest (or born and
abandoned in a Memphis laundromat, and brought up by Quakers,
depending on whose version of the "truth" you want to believe,)
El Snatcher is Pigdog's fiercest attack journalist, a hillbilly
icon born and bred to unearth diamonds lost in shitpiles and uncloak
Bad People in angelic disguise wherever they lurk.
Three-time winner of the Pigdog "Most Likely to Harbor a Deeply
Personal Lifetime Grudge Award," Snatcher spends his days and nights cloaked
in mystery on Spock Mountain, an enigmatic figure in a blood-spattered
lab coat lurking the labyrinth hallways of his Super Sekrit MegaResearch
laboratory in an undisclosed location, where he performs myriad and inhuman
experiments on all forms of human and whatnot matter. Rumors have it
that El Snatcher lives on a diet that consists solely of broiled and
grilled large meat and fresh beaujolais from his private reserve.
El Snatcher has an undying, pitbull jaw-clamping-like hatred for people
who say things like: "Let's go debunk old granny ESP ladies and laugh in
their faces! HAHA HA We are SO SMARTY PANTY! We did a sting on that
old dowser guy! hahah! Everything not endorsed by Nature magazine
is a fraud!! Let's get them real good, har har! And we're HIPPIES!
We're BAD HIPPIES at the same time!! YaY!! I am a vegetarian skeptic boy
HIPPIE!!! We spy on people with our telescopes while we're barefoot!! And
this is our club. We all LOVE TO LOVE Carl Sagan together in paradise.
Let's watch Star Track and masturbate!! Yay!!"
Pigdog Journal Articles
2007-09-09
2002-04-12
2001-11-25
2001-07-05
2001-03-06
2000-12-31
2000-08-19
2000-07-24
1999-11-16
1999-10-24
1999-09-28
1999-08-25
1999-08-24
1999-08-11
1999-08-10
1999-08-05
1999-08-05
1999-08-04
1999-08-03
1999-07-28
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1999-07-18
1999-07-15
1999-07-12
1999-07-10
1999-07-10
1999-07-09
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1999-07-02
1999-07-02
1999-06-30
1999-06-28
1999-06-28
1999-06-24
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1999-06-17
1999-06-14
1999-06-09
1999-06-09
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1999-04-30
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1999-04-27
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1999-02-18
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1998-11-03
1998-11-03
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1998-10-05
Offsite links shared by the author
2002-12-17
2002-11-12
2002-06-20
2002-05-28
2002-05-28
2002-05-06
2002-04-17
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2002-04-07
2001-11-29
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2001-11-27
2001-10-28
2001-03-15
2001-03-15
2001-03-06
2001-02-13
2001-01-26
2000-12-08
2000-12-08
2000-12-08
2000-10-04
2000-07-16
2000-04-25
2000-04-11
2000-03-10
1999-12-17
1999-12-02
1999-11-19
1999-11-12
1999-11-08
1999-11-05
1999-09-14
1999-08-24
1999-08-24
1999-08-24
1999-08-18
1999-08-18
1999-08-18
1999-08-11
1999-08-11
1999-08-09
1999-08-07
1999-08-05
1999-08-05
1999-07-28
1999-07-27
1999-07-16
1999-07-15
1999-07-15
1999-07-15
1999-07-15
1999-07-15
1999-07-15
1999-07-14
1999-07-13
1999-07-12
1999-07-07
1999-07-03
1999-06-24
1999-06-17
1999-06-16
1999-06-12
1999-06-10
1999-06-08
1999-06-08
1999-06-08
1999-06-08
1999-06-03
1999-06-03
1999-06-03
1999-06-02
1999-05-30
1999-05-28
1999-05-27
1999-05-26
T O P S T O R I E S
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
Suru and I were at the local supermarket recently when we found ourselves in the booze isle, surrounded by rum. Banana rum, coconut rum, vanilla rum, unfiltered run, Jamaican rum, rum, rum, and more rum. We bought one of each and started experimenting... (More...)