Build Date: Thu Feb 12 12:50:23 2026 UTC
Got tight last night on absinthe. Did knife tricks.
-- Ernest Hemingway
Pigcicle
2022-09-01 23:51:32
It's hot out, time to cool off with a frozen slab of smokey, hot-dog flavored gelato on a stick, Oscar Mayer's newest fresh-from-the-freezer treat, the Cold Dog.
Oscar Mayer says that no identifiable meat products are used when making Cold Dogs, although you can still taste the hickory-smoked hot dog flavor, along with tomatoes, onions, and some other flavors that the company declined to specify.
But wait! There's more! What frozen meat-like substance would be complete without some mustard? Not the Cold Dog, that's for sure! Every Cold Dog comes with a "mustard" swirl down the side of the meat-like stick. We have to put "mustard" in quotes here, because the actual substance is white chocolate that's been dyed bright yellow. That's right! The creators thought that every consumer would just love to wolf down some frozen meaty goodness covered with white chocolate.
Want to inflict this treat on a friend? The Cold Dog is available at select Popbar locations in Long Beach, New York City, Atlanta, and New Orleans for $2 a pop while supplies last, which should be quite a while.

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
We here at Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL - world leaders in beverage research and leisure technology) have been noting some complaints about a few of the last Spocktails recipes we’ve released to the general public. Some complaints received to barfback and pigdog-l have centered around the opinion that no one in their right minds would make the drink in question much less consume it. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
Alright kids, this is the column where you write in with the lurid details of your personal lives, and I put them on the Internet for everyone to snicker at. But also, I give you a free Tarot reading, so there's that. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill! (More...)