Build Date: Sun Jul 5 21:50:25 2026 UTC
Is the tech economy down because we're all fucking around on the Internet during work hours, or are we fucking around on the Internet during work hours because the tech economy is down? This is one of those chicken/egg questions that keeps me up at night.
-- Master Squid
Cyberbillies
The new breed of hillbilly. Now with 20% more RoR in every bite!
Pigdog Journal Articles
2006-09-09
Went to one of the only really enjoyable outdoor concerts I can remember (maybe I didn't enjoy it enough). The finest in dirty hillbilly music: The Cross Canadian Ragweed Red Dirt Roundup. For those ignorants, Cross Canadian Ragweed is a horrendous allergan in Texas, and it's also a band. In a great show of humility, CCR was the worst major act in their line up. Fortunately, they have talented friends.
2002-04-29
Punk rock. Hillbillies. From Brazil. I'm not exactly sure what else needs to be said here.
2001-02-15
Elvis had a vision during a cross-country road trip in 1964. Driving to Hollywood from his Tennessee Graceland mansion, Elvis looked into the clouds and saw the face of Stalin.
2000-03-28
It's like skunkbait for Massively Cool Dudes with Awesome Mini Trucks and way bitchin' mullets, an instant portal into the pinhead dimension and an easy mark for "Calvin Pissing on..." sticker collecters. It, like, totally, like, sums up the total, like, way you approach your life: NO FEAR, DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!
2000-03-22
Man, it's a well-known fact that booming techno-techno is the official music of Bad People of the Future and shit. Like, when diamond-crystal symbiots land on PLANET Q13 in the Booga Galaxy and shit, it's obvious that they will be playing some dope-ass goa on their 12-dimensional CD player and stuff. But, at the same time, these cyberbillies are giving techno a run for its money, what with all their "old-timey" music. Beaujolais for that!
2000-02-21
The appalling state of education in this country never ceases to amaze me. Only recently in an informal office poll did I learn that NO ONE has heard of the greatest of rulers: Cletus Porcinus, the Slack-Jawed Emperor of Rome.
2000-01-20
Dear holy FUCKANAUTS! Max Baer, the big lughead who played JETHRO BODINE in the hit series "Beverly Hillbillies" is building him a GIGANTIC CASINO in the sick, bitter little dessicated city of Reno, Nevada. It's gonna be TOTALLY SIDEWAYS! With BLACKJACK and HILLBILLIES! Gah!
2000-01-12
I have never been a big proponent of e-commerce in any way, shape or form. OK, well, actually, I like buying gray-market drugs on the Internet. And cyberporn. But besides, that, e-commerce blows. At least, that's what I thought until I saw StillLife.com. COOLIO BOOZE STILLS!
1999-12-20
You know how Hamster Dance showed up one day, probably in your inbox with a note attached that said "DOOD U HAV GOT 2 CHEK THIS OUT!!!11"? And then you looked at it and felt nothing but pity and contempt for people who thought it was, like, really funny? And THEN, like 8 million dumbasses all over the world thought it would be even FUNNIER to replace "dancing hamster" with "dancing other thing," like Herve Villichaize, so now there are 8 MILLION DANCING WHATEVER PAGES ON THE WORLD WIDE SQUIRREL? Are you following me? OK. Those people have to stop what they're doing. Right now.
1999-12-13
Yall liss'n here. evary now an' then a true cyberbilly will havta atten' an occasion in his best clothes. summa these events will requar wearin a tie. So what kin' of tie will say "I'm a cyberbilly an' proud of it"? One covard in infectious diseases! Ya reckon?
1999-10-28
So tha folks saw yr tappin' away at the codin' box, and reckoned you'd make more possum hides if you threw all yr meager belongins' on tha truck and hauled yr ass to Sili-kon Valleee. And they were right: you've made out better than Cotton Eye Joe! But, as the old song goes, you got what you wanted but lost what ya had.
1999-08-25
Fella, yo' eatin' enough meat? ah's gonna tale yo' about Meathenge. Thays got this hyar hillbilly fella named of a Mr. Biggles. See, thet fella likes t'burn meats up on whutevah grill yo' an' me an' he kin git fired up. It's real fine now. Especially, he liken them pigs. An' nobody kin stop him! Fry mah hide!
1999-08-17
Say your name is Jed Sanders. You've got a webpage, but you ain't got nuthin' t' put on it. You tryed to drawer sum, but th' pencil kep snappin' on yer monitor. Whut you gonna do?
1999-08-16
One of the bloodiest chapters in the history of the United States is the feud between the Hatfields and McCoys. Innocent lives on both sides were needlessly lost, in what turned out to be mostly due to a greedy lawyer with an eye for real estate. But when you find yourself being pelted with lemons, you should try to make some lemonade, which is what the people of Pikeville, KY did. On the very grounds where this infamous chapter of was written, they now hold Hillbilly Days!
1999-08-10
Check out these FREAKS who call people up on the phone and pretend to be RETARDED HILLBILLIES (Why didn't I think of that??). My sides hurt from laughing so hard. These are some bad, bad people.
1999-06-29
Picture this: it's a benefit concert. It stars Lynyrd Skynyrd. It's a memorial for Columbine massacre victims. It will be beamed live to all Wal-Mart stores in the country. You can pinch yourself, but you won't wake up; once you start screaming, you might not be able to stop... in the Twilight Zone.
1999-06-29
Here's something you don't get enough of on the web; a whole site apparently devoted to the sorts of "inspirational" stories and poems you normally find in the back pages of TRUE STORY magazine and the intermittent Ann Landers column on a day when Ann is feeling really lazy.
1999-06-25
There's a bunch of people up in the hills of Vermont who build their own telescopes so they can look at the stars. If that's not genuine cyberbilly, I don't know what is.
1999-06-21
Defending Boise as "Mayberry for computer geeks," noted Boise personality "Lego-Man" recently purchased a 1969 BMW his brother spotted "sitting out in the farmer's back forty."
1999-05-11
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement.
1998-11-13
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert.
Offsite links shared by staff writers
2002-02-05
2001-12-03
2001-03-06
2000-07-28
2000-01-21
1999-12-26
1999-11-17
Want to learn to make dead flesh all black and smoky, with the vital juices gooshing around inside? Then you should view this Cyberbilly meat-maker tutorial!
1999-11-08
1999-07-08
Hey! It's that place with the bumper stickers. I wonder if The Mystery Spot has a Web site.
1999-06-24
1999-06-08
Crazy-ass Japanese cyberbillies create cheap knockoff ROBOT DOGS in imitation of Spock Mountain Research Labs!
T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
