Robotic Red Light District on the move
2023-08-14 16:20:43
The next time you take a robotaxi in San Francisco, you may want to bring along some wet wipes, because San Franciscans love to get down and dirty in The City's robotaxis. With no driver to admonish you, or clean up after you, anything goes in the backseats of these love nests on wheels.
The most popular taxis for fucking in are Cruise vehicles. Reporters couldn't find anyone who had sex in a Waymo.
"We're working hard to make sure our service is safe, clean, and open to everyone, and riders agree to do their part when they sign up to use our service," a Cruise spokesperson said. To clean spillage from the seats would imply that Cruise knows when someone just had sex and that they send the car for cleaning afterwards. Since the car's forward-facing cameras can tell the difference between a stop sign and a homeless man, it shouldn't be too hard to program in the interior cameras to tell the difference between a passenger sitting quietly and a passenger getting their cream pie all over the leather seats.
According to the Cruise web site, "We record video inside of the car for added safety and support. If something happened during your ride, we might review the recording to better understand what happened. We only record audio during active support calls." If you're interested in seeing these videos yourself, just check Pornhub. If they're not there yet, they soon will be.
Scientists saw this coming. A study titled Autonomous vehicles and the future of urban tourism, published in the January 2019 edition of the Annals of Tourism, predicted that "prostitution, and sex more generally, in moving CAVs (connected and autonomous vehicles), becomes a growing phenomenon. For instance, 'hotels-by-the-hour' are likely to be replaced by CAVs, and this will have implications for urban tourism, as sex plays a central role in many tourism experiences (e.g. Carr, 2016). While SCAVs (shared CAVs) will likely be monitored to deter passengers having sex or using drugs in them, and to prevent violence, such surveillance may be rapidly overcome, disabled or removed. Moreover, personal CAVs will likely be immune from such surveillance. Such private CAVs may also be put to commercial use, as it is just a small leap to imagine Amsterdam’s Red Light District 'on the move'."
In addition to Cruise employees watching soundless videos of passengers getting on and getting off, anyone on the street or a nearby car can also see inside the vehicle and see what's going on, which is part of the thrill for Cruise's exhibitionist passengers.
"In one instance, an individual outside of the car, in another car, looked in and basically had an understanding of what was happening—and he smiled," a recent passenger said. "It was not like a negative reaction; it was almost humorous. Certain people have a different threshold of concerns about public situations."
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Ah, it's that special time of year again. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, crowded, dangerous streets filled with maniac shoppers rushing to the mall to buy Pokemon action figures, and getting hammered at the Xmas party and insulting the boss's hair weave. That's right: it's time to drink heavily and wait out life's little nagging miseries, holiday variety. Pigdog is here to help. (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)