Build Date: Sat Nov 7 07:40:30 2026 UTC
Now, I'm no artist, but I'm crazy, and I know how to burn stuff up and talk like a redneck.
-- Tjames Madison
Kids art is freaky as fuck
2022-04-23 01:15:59
Kids are terrible artists. They have no experience, no technique, no understanding of perspective or scale. When it comes to seeing something and rendering it accurately or recognizably on a piece of paper their abilities are pathetically inadequate to the task.
However, if you take those drawings as a starting point, then get an actual artist with skills and abilities to render them realistically, you end up with art that is freaky as fuck. That's what Tom Curtis did in a series of artworks he created based on grotesque renderings scrawled by children.

Some people would think "What sort of developmental disability does a child have when they think that this is what an elephant looks like?" But this is not the result of fetal alcohol syndrome, this is the best that the child could do.

How disappointing it must be to have a child who, when asked to draw a picture of a panda, can't accurately count the number of arms and legs that the panda has, or tell what part of the body those arms and legs are attached to. How do you explain this lack of visual awareness to your family and friends? You have to raise this kid until they're 18 at least. If they're this inadequate when they're four, think what a disappointment they're going to be to you when they grow up.

Children's leg-counting abilities don't get any better when attempting to draw a well-known creature like a turtle. They're apt to attach the poor creature's head to its front leg, showing a complete lack of understanding of how turtle bodies work. If an actual turtle looked like that a compassionate person would smash it with a rock to put the turtle out of it's misery.

Absolutely horrifying.

T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Pigdog dispatched special correspondent Ratsnatcher for a holiday reconnaissance of America's frozen hell. After ten days of silence, our shortwave radio cackled with Ratsnatcher's static-filled transmission. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
Body and Soul, a night of fucking in San Francisco
For the benefit of Pigdog readers, I took it upon myself to explore the deep frontiers of human behavior and attend a saucy festival of the flesh. This was no ordinary fete of carnal delights, dearie. (More...)