Build Date: Mon Jun 17 09:50:21 2024 UTC

I could walk the half block to work and get crazy speed there, but that involves putting pants on.
-- Mediavore

Net Flotsam

Miscellaneous shit from the Net.

Pigdog Journal Articles


A Wiki Travel Guide is unsurprisingly a Wiki that is focused on travel. It is also the latest venture for long time PDJ contributors, Mr. Bad and his very lovely wife-to-be, Maj. If you don't know what a Wiki is go here. If you don't know what a travel guide is go here. If you don't know what marriage is like go here. -- JRoyale


I Have Something To Tell You...
Picture this. You're in a Hallmark store, looking for exactly the right card to send to your mother. Nothing's working for you, and you're running out of options. Then you yank the last card out of the rack. On the front it's got a soft-focus photograph of two babies kissing a kitten, and there are also violets. You open it up. -- Siduri


Swim, Jesus, Swim
Straight from last week's pick on Jesus of the Week is this little flash site that has Jesus swimming. Yeah, just swimming. In a vast turquoise sea under a cloudless aqua sky, the son of god is swimming. Did I mention that Jesus is swimming? -- JRoyale


How Many Would it Take?
In a new twist on that now very ancient game of "Am I hot or not?", "How Many Would it Take?" trys to determine how many beers you would have to consume in order to find the person in the picture you are looking at hot. -- JRoyale


Kathleen Fent Read This Story
Kathleen, I wanted to do this in this most potentially embarassing way possible, and I figured doing it here and now, in front of a quarter of a million strangers (give or take) was as good a way as any. I think you're pretty much a babe and I know now that I want to spend my night with you. Enough rambling. Will you have some drunken, sloppy sex with me? -- Mr. Bad


So, if you're like me, you get in arguments all the time with people on the Innurnet. And when you get in those arguments, you like to have URLs to point to so that people know that you're really fricken serious about what you're talking about, and not just some big blowhard know-it-all bastardo, which in fact I am. So having around has preserved the illusion that you and I are not big assholes, which in fact is only partially true. -- Mr. Bad


Hot Babes in Peril!
This is not a new link. It is an old link, in need of a little bit more support, folks. It's called "Are You Hot or Not?" -- Patient Joab


Wacky web-animation -- and Dave Thomas
Steve Jobs! Singing grapes! Dr. Ruth Westheimer! Angry coffee! Ready for another surreal jumble of music and images? -- El Destino


Seanbaby vs. "Captain Tootsie"
"Them thar Tootsie Rolls sure put steam inta yer muscles, don't they?" It's time for another round of stupid comic books ads lovingly critiqued by the wise guys at -- El Destino


Superheros, Twinkies, and Seanbaby's interview with D.C. Comics
Spider-Man, Captain America, and BatGirl have something in common. They all fought crime using delicious Hostess Fruit Pies®. Now has tracked down an executive at D.C. Comics who worked on the notorious 70s junk food ad campaign. -- El Destino


New Leisuretown!
Giraffes, rabbits, and dipshits. The beloved internet photo-comic Leisuretown is back -- in a big way! -- El Destino


JerkCity 2.0 is coming!!!
The alien! The flower! The beatnik! All your favorite characters from the daily web comic JerkCity are still going strong. But now JerkCity 2.0 is on its way! -- El Destino


Net Flotsam
A lot of humorous stuff rolled in off the web today and since I'm tired of looking that feature about the Free Dimtry Hearing on September 24th I'd thought I'd smash them all together sort like they do on Slashdot every once in a while and see how it goes. Enjoy. -- JRoyale


Evil Bert and Evil Bin Laden
This one is creepy. Bert (of Sesame Street fame) is talking to evil terrorist mastermind and all around bad guy Osama bin Laden on what appears to be posters used during pro-Taliban rallies in the Middle-East. -- JRoyale


AT&T Attempts To Muscle In On Bell Labs
Stumbling on the heels of Bell Labs, AT&T is now trying their hands at cutting edge text- to-voice. Too bad it sucks. -- Flesh


Lets Just Take A Moment...
.... and think about this. The good folks at Bell Labs have a nice little Text-To-Speech demo page up. Nothing too fancy, just pick a voice, type in some text and click "Synthesis." But wait! What's that little checkbox in the corner? "If you plan to enter text which our system might consider to be obscene, check here to certify that you are old enough to hear the resulting output." Whaaa??? -- Negative Nancy


Wacky Japanese Animation
It's Pee-Wee Herman! A singing airplane! George W. Bush! A dangerous pace-maker! The internet is buzzing over an incongruous Shockwave video sung entirely in Japanese... -- El Destino


Subspace - aswz
Subspace - the longest running graphical internet game, still poppin. -- Pao Tzu


The match-making Congressman
A state representative is also running the web site SheWantsItBad.Net. It's Tom Alciere, the New Hampshire legislator who said killing cops was OK if they'd crossed a line. -- El Destino


Get in Touch with Your Anger
Who is America’s greatest writer? Is it Hunter Thompson? Mark Twain? How about Ed Anger? -- Flesh


Bush Calls Gore a Liar
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... I love it when a liar calls another liar a liar. -- JRoyale


Stop Bush! Eliminate Spoiler Candidates!
Man, I really really don't want to live in a country run by George W. Bush. Which will mean, essentially, EVERY country on Earth, if the big ol' evil dolt gets elected this year. Gar! [Note: All "Gars!" are property of Mr. Bad and do not reflect general PDJ editorial policy. We have no common opinion.] -- Mr. Bad


Talk to the Bot, the Face Isn't Listening
Wow! You know, using stupid instant messaging systems like AIM or ICQ has got to be the most inhuman and unresponsive means of communications ever invented by people. And just to show how amazingly inhuman it can be, somebody created AOLiza! -- Mr. Bad


Goodbye, Musical Yahoo
Yahoo's interface has always lacked one thing: mandatory MIDI music in the background. One webmaster had a dream to change all that... Here's his crazy story. -- El Destino


Word Processing on Corrugated Cardboard?
Neatness is for anal-retentive assholes. This is Pigdog!

But how can I recreate my crazed scrawls with a word processing program? This web page has the answer... -- El Destino


Fuckinnnnn' A. Jupiter Communication says that there will be 7.3 billion dollars - that's $7,300,000,000.00 dollars spent on email advertising in 2005 in the US. -- JRoyale


Looking for Cardamom Ginger? Don't look here!
I am devoted to thwarting any attempts to find out anything about Elettaria Cardamomum. Pokey the Penguin, on the other hand, is just a weird cartoon. -- Miles Standish


Alt dot Culture dot Long dot Dead dot Good dot Riddance
Well, if you thought that content was KING on the World Wide Squirrel, baby, you need to think again. Colossal failures like the alt.culture Web site show that you can't make the big bucks gar-gar-garring about bogus hipster stuff till the cows come home. -- Mr. Bad

2000-04-20 Is Pretty Damn Good
Hey, so there's this site with this guy's writing and some pictures and stuff like that, and it's pretty good. Ha! Man, some of that stuff is funny. Heh. -- Mr. Bad


Wacky Brits Surfing Starkers
Nutopia - It's a cyber cafe! Yeah! It's a bar! Yeah! It's a spa! Yeah! It's a nudist colony! Yeah! It's full of nekkid British people! Ewwww! All the computers are iMacs! Grodie! -- Negative Nancy


Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. -- Mr. Bad


Am I a TOTAL Loser for Never Hearing of Ganglandnews Before?
So, I got this lame junk mail from Brill's Content today, trying to get me to buy a subscription. They used this stratagem of listing all these things you would know if you'd read Brill's in the last few months. The thing is that it was all BULLSHIT, for example: there's this site called IMDB where you can look up movie info. NO SHIT, BRILL'S CONTENT. So I was dumbfounded that they had a blurb about this Gangland News site that I'd never heard of. How did that slip by? -- Mr. Bad


Learn how to SUE THE FUCK out of ANYONE
Imagine, if you will, that your computer is an extension of yourself, and that, therefore, any information you can access by computer is, in some way, information that's already yours. This means that, now that is out, you know law. Which makes you a lawyer. Well, FUCK YOU, LAWYER. -- Miles Standish


Acid Tripping with Buffalo Bones
Before the Internet Revolution first exploded into the mainstream public, there were BBS systems. You will rarely hear about or see them anymore. Easy Internet access all but led to the extinction of this form of communication. The smart ones evolved and thrived. Now, some systems are returning to the graves of their predecessors to reminisce and re-unite. -- Flesh


SF Girls Are OK By Me
Hey, so, like, there's this web site called It's about, uh, GIRLS. In SF. For you who are not in the KNOW, that means San Fran Fucking CISCO, Baybee! Which is the City I love. -- Mr. Bad


Dick is Popping up Again
Sure, Dick is gone, but you can still kick him around. -- Flesh


You've Got Questions
We admit it. We don't know everything. We'd like to, but Allah has yet to see fit to reach down and whack us with the staff of knowledge. So, where do we go when we have a question? We go where every leader of the United States of America goes. -- Flesh


This is NOT Jenni
Like everyone else on the planet, I've looked at The Jenni show web site, and have been bored silly by it. She doesn't do anything I can relate to. Oh, look at Jenni read a book! Look she's naked and appears to be masturbating. Big whoop. I want to see things I can relate to. Finally, there's a web site featuring things I can -- Flesh


Man, you know people who FETISHIZE stupid TV shows beyond the point of cute and clever into the realm of FEVERISH and UNHEALTHY!? You know people like that? I hate them, don't you? And yet, I have become one. Augh, the tragedy! -- Mr. Bad


Pictures of Crazy People that Even Crazy People Don't Want
So, there's this thing called "The People's Photos" and it is the FREAK SHOW site of the YEAR. And I will now write a few paragraphs to tell you about it. -- Mr. Bad


More Free Publicity From Pigdog!
Oh look, we're doing it again: we're making some other guys famous. Why do we do it? I don't know. Perhaps we're crazy. -- Tjames Madison


Chickenhead is Pretty Damn Funny
Hey, so this chickenhead dot com thing, right? You know what I'm talking about? Well it's funny, eh? Pretty DAMNED funny, in fact, I will have you know. -- Mr. Bad


If It's Not Vaporware, It's Obsolete!
Wow! Acme Vaporware is my new favorite faceless destructive global corporation! Check out the crazy products they have up at the Acme Vaporware store! All this stuff, AVAILABLE REAL SOON NOW! I can't wait! -- Mr. Bad


Ydych chi'n siarad Cymraeg?
Welsh is currently a language for Bad People of the Past, but it's making quite a comeback (ok, mostly in small sheep-herding communities in lower Snowdonia, but still). Be one step ahead of the curve by Teaching Yourself Welsh! -- Negative Nancy


Naked Tarzan Spurs Orthodox Anger
In the latest twist on the ages-old "Art? Or Unsightly Naughty Bulge?" debate, Orthodox Jews in Israel have joined the long list of groups who are really angry about stuff that Disney does. -- Tjames Madison


Send Mail to the Future
Attention all Bad People of the Future, I've recently discovered a cool new service on the Web that let's you send email INTO THE FUTURE. It's from the crazy Dave Winer guy over at Userland Software. -- El Snatcher


Pocketful of Poseurs
Haw haw! Not just any random group of navel-gazing, self-obsessed annoying Goth stooges, here are some navel-gazing, self-obsessed, annoying SWISS Goth stooges! -- Tjames Madison


R. U. Sirius Debuts New Wrestling Magazine
Actually, it's not ALL about wrestling, there are also tons of raunchy sex articles, which is exactly what you might expect from something entitled, "Gettingit." -- El Snatcher


So, like, life's real weird and shit. Oh, and hey, check it out: our server's back up. Woohoo! -- Mr. Bad


Summer Relief From Itching Clown Syndrome
Do you hate clowns? Good, you're normal; clowns are evil and they're only trying to cause trouble. -- Tjames Madison


Hey, so, these guys at pHreak don't really have a lot of space or bandwidth or what have you, but they are on the lookout for BAD CRAZY web sites to host. For FREE! So, fuck, how can you go wrong? -- Mr. Bad


We Wook an Awful Wot Awike
I just kind of picture me and Michael Jordan on the phone in one of those crazy cartoon long-distance commercials, and he says, "Just because you're MISTER Bad, and they're SUPER bad, doesn't mean you're related." OK, that's kinda dumb, but you should check out anyways. -- Mr. Bad


Stop the Decade, I Want to Get Off
Man, I just don't know what to say. The megalomaniacs of the Dumb-Down Bundt have declared this "The Slashdot Decade." Christ! -- Mr. Bad


Do Math Geeks Dream of Electric Drabble?
Whoa! "Math Humor"! Can you think of anything funnier than math? I know I can't. -- Tjames Madison


People of Earth: You Suck
Man, this site is the greatest! You can create a HATE DOMAIN within seconds, using the Web-based power of USUCK.COM! -- Mr. Bad


This is some crazy Czech site. But it's COOL. Man! I don't even know what MUJWEB means, but I think I like it! MUJWEB! It's just fun to say "MUJWEB", isn't it? -- Mr. Bad


How Nature Points Up the Folly of Men
Here's another one of those 'net phenomenon deals that just freaks my shit right out. It's a game. It's a cartoon. It's Hello Kitty with an attitude. It's Pokemon, and it's made for little babies, but ADULTS are all into this shit! Why?!? Please write me and tell me how come. -- Tjames Madison


Star Wars Fans Are Big Nerds!
The old (on- and off-net) flame goes, "You've got too much time on your hands," but hardly anyone ever examines the diametric here: if people didn't have the time to build lavish, lovingly intricate web sites full of Star Wars bulldata concerning technology that only exists in a cheesy movie and seems as real to the creator as the specs of the M1A2 Abrams Main Battle Tank, then what else in the world could these saps possibly be occupying their time with? Needlepoint? -- Tjames Madison


No Tits, Techno
Hey, I've been a big fan of JenniCam since way way back. Hell, I even like JedCam. But I've got to tell you, I'm now hooked on Here and Now. -- Mr. Bad


US Survival Tips for Aussies
Hey this is fun. It's "US Survival Tips for Aussies." They think we're practically aliens here, because we don't spread vegemite all over everything, use mayonnaise on sandwiches instead of butter, and only feed milo to our cattle and pigs. -- El Snatcher


Weird Richard will BURY Microsoft
Internet Personality "Weird Richard," the self proclaimed "Lego King" threw his hat into the "beat Microsoft" ring today. -- El Destino


Going Down...
It really sucks that Memepool ( had this before us, but this link is so good that I have to put it up anyway. Most pin-up art is a little creepy with its overstated female sexpots dressed in various exhibitionist getups, and whatnot, but in all of kitsch history nothing really compares well to Art Frahm's bizarre series of paintings known as, "Panties Falling Down." -- El Snatcher


Shitty Food Looks Real Bad
One thing that everybody knows is that real shitty food looks gross. In an effort to prove that self-evident truism, Web guy James Lileks took the time to digitize and publish a lot of pictures of real bad food from third-rate cookbooks, adding his own captions along the lines of "This food is GROSS" and "What a disgusting pile of SHIT!" Yeah, it sounds kind of dumb and juvenile, but, HELL, so are we, and The Gallery of Regrettable Food gave us some pretty decent belly laughs. -- Cookie


Lord Jesus, Lovingly Guide my Arrow Through That Bear's Brainpan
Hey, you know, everybody loves bow-hunting, right? There's nothing like it. Woo-hoo! A hedonistic bloodbath of flowing booze, unwashed men, half-crippled mammals and, best of all, the great outdoors. But after propelling your 300th high-velocity carbon-fiber death-stick into some furbag's ribcage, causing an explosion of gore, bile, and lifeblood, well, you gotta think, what's this all about, anyways? And that's where the Good Lord comes in. You can let Jesus into your heart to give a purpose to your otherwise pointless bow-hunting. -- Mr. Bad


New Telebubbies Goofouts
Oh my goodness. We haven't been paying attention. After being down all January, New Ground Atomix has two new Macromedia Flash Telebubby goofouts!! In response to Jerry Falwell's nutty claims about homosexual alien babies being roll models for toddlers, there's a new adventure in which Dinky Winky RE-EVALUATES HIS LIFESTYLE with a visit to his "persecuted pals," Burt and Ernie. Then, there's a bizarre scene with Poe and his pimp friend, Tyrone, involving sheep and some sort of facial wash. We can't figure that one out, but it's REAL GOOD... -- El Snatcher


Brad, The Game
Let's do an exercise: imagine that you are in an open field west of a big white house with a boarded front door. There is a small mailbox here. Now, imagine that you are also fucking your sister. Welcome to Brad, the Game. -- Mr. Bad


Blast from the Past at Last
Java and XML and CORBA and all that fancy crap have got me down. I was pining for the days when Microsoft second-sourced a UNIX for the 286, and RDBMS's were the hottest new technology. Then I found "The Xenix Chainsaw Massacre". Ah. -- Mr. Bad


To Arms!
Caught in an embarassing flame war with a ridiculous moron about some trivial subject like techno music or furbiling? Want to settle the issue once and for all, in a way that preserves everyone's dignity and honor? Well, then, my friend, the answer is clear: ROSHAMBO for it! -- Mr. Bad


What the Mountains Did to the Man
Want to learn to converse all scientific, like the Spock Mountain Research Labs beverotologists do? Well, tan my hide! -- Patient Joab


Stupid Postcards
Here's something to keep you drooling moronic link-clickers entertained for a while: this compendium of stupid, weird, and disturbing postcards is comprehensive and voluminous. Enjoy your drug. -- Patient Joab


Furby Death Machine
The creators of "Telebubby Fun Land," New Ground Atomix, have a new evil web machine for killing Furbies! Apparently, New Ground Atomix specializes in making really funny and bizarre web toys. The site has really taken off since they started fooling around with Shockwave. They even have their own t-shirts now. -- El Snatcher


Wil Shipley Makes Fun of HIMSELF
Wil Shipley posted his own top ten list. "Top 10 Pickup Lines I've Had No Luck With So Far." -- El Destino


Shipley's Doctor Prescribes More Pills
"I got a prescription for a bunch more pills." In an essay titled "More Drugs," OmniGroup President and founder Wil Shipley reports enthusiastically on his struggle for mental health. "I'd push my own mother in front of a train to keep taking Zoloft," Shipley jokes... -- El Destino


More Madness from Kevin Kelm
Kevin Kelm, self-described "Dark Prince of HTML", has given the world a somewhat disturbing look into his twisted world. His Web portfolio ranges from bedtime stories featuring titles such as "Curious George & The High Tension Wire", to an online journey into the mysterious Paris Burial Catacombs that stretch for miles under the city, to a lose-lose game called "Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't". -- Flesh


Shipley's Bladder-Capacity Improves
OmniGroup president and founder Wil Shipley reports he is able to go longer without relieving himself. "Today, when I went to pick up Karawynn, I didn't stop in the men's room or even think about it," Shipley reports in an on-line essay. -- El Destino


Frozen Food: Space-Age Nourishment of the Future
I know many people may find this to be pie-in-the-sky science fiction insanity, but apparently some wackos in California are pushing the concept of FROZEN FOOD. Primarily of use to moon-men and uranium miners, FROZEN FOOD provides delicious, healthful snacks and meals, but FROZEN. Imagine it! A meal on a stick! I don't think this will ever catch on, but if you've got an eye to the future, strap on your personal jet-pack and zoom on over to the FROZEN FOOD COUNCIL's Web page. -- Mr. Bad


Loser at the Cruise Control
So, nothing makes you feel better about yourself than laughing at stupid people. The great thing about the Web is that you're not in danger of them hearing you laugh and coming over and making a big dumb weepy embarrassing spectacle of themselves. -- Flesh


Slobbering Over Cartoon Vixens
Crazy-funny site! This guy goes into explicit detail of all the ways he wants to freak cartoon girlies like Josie and the Pussy Cats, Peppermint Patty, and Sailor Moon. Well worth the browse, although it *is* one of those horrible Geocities thingers with all those annoying porn-site-style pop-up windows and crap. -- Mr. Bad


The Room -- Magic Woo-woo Powers of the Web
Yippee! Another crazy interactive arty soft-porn Web thingy. I love this kind of thing, but I wish there were some naked people. -- Mr. Bad

Offsite links shared by staff writers




The Best Water Balloon Breaking Ever
The Best Water Balloon Breaking Ever -- JRoyale


Telling It Like It Is
New Micro$oft Ad -- Miss Conduct


Get your "Your Little Princess is My Little Whore" shirt to meet the parents today!
T-Shirt Hell has the best shirts for your young'ns. -- LiquorPig


How To Dance Properly
Personal site shines with subtle brilliance. '...The dancer then, both asks and answers the same question: Who is your daddy?.....I am your Daddy.' -- Miss Conduct


Shamrock Shake Site
Hey, look at this... some moron wants McDonalds to bring back the horrible Shamrock Shake. -- JRoyale


Couscous Weekend
Person I don't know and who has no relation to Pigdog Journal travels to Morocco; Muslim madness materializes. -- Mr. Bad



Keep Parents Off The Internet!
We must keep pornography out of the hands of our parents! (A snorfle-worthy Shockwave.) -- Cynara


Meme Scanner
Test your meme infection! -- Cynara


Which Online Personality Test Are You?
Take an online personality quiz to find out which online personality quiz you would be, if you were an online personality quiz. -- Siduri


Haunted hard drive -- El Destino


Hire a Japanese drunk -- El Destino



A Leisuretown Christmas -- El Destino



Page me later
I fucking hate you! ps- page me later -- Negative Nancy


A Leisuretown Halloween -- El Destino





Drunken Losers . com -- El Destino


How to defeat G.I. Joe -- El Destino



Pray for George Bush!





Virtual pet cemetery -- El Destino



Jesus Christ Superstore -- El Destino




Titties on Canvas
Boobie painting! "A Celebration of Breast Art in Everyday Life and Nature"!! Bwahahahaha! -- Mr. Bad


CarveZine! -- the online magazine for people who like to carve. -- Mr. Bad


Stupid sheep page -- El Destino


Bill Gates is Dead -- JRoyale



Your Dot-Com is Dying
First aid for the dying dot-com. -- Mr. Bad




Li Jhonglas Kvin Pilkojn
A Canadian math student who juggles, rides a unicycle, and is fond of 'pi'. I dunno, I just like this one. In Esperanto, of course! -- Mr. Bad


Crazy Japanese girls make funny faces.
Fuck, I don't have fuckall idea what this site is about, but these crazy Japanese girls sure make some funny faces. -- Mr. Bad




The Pong FAQ -- El Destino



Hard Drinkin' Lincoln -- El Destino

2000-06-22 -- JRoyale



Cool Words Page
Cool pages for word freaks. Nifty! -- Mr. Bad




Napster threat generator -- El Destino




Time On the Move -- Master Squid



More Sucka MCs
Brutally boring. Another Sucka MC production. -- Mr. Bad


Biography of Bill Gates -- El Destino


SpaceGhost Rocks!!
Is There Anyone Who Doesn't Know Yet That SpaceGhost Rocks Like New Socks?! -- Ms.BunnyPenny


New Radiskull and Devil Doll!
Now it's time to KICK IT SOME MORE! Go see the new Radiskull and Devil Doll show! -- Mr. Bad


Gross Pagan Wu Name
Gah! Go find your Pagan name! Blech! -- Mr. Bad


Woz/Not Woz
So, shouldn't Steve Wozniak have something better to do? Really? If you think about it? -- Mr. Bad


Give me FONTS, Dammit!
Give me FONTS, Dammit! [thx to DG!] -- Mr. Bad



Male Pregnancy -- Patient Joab




Man, this e-commerce affinity marketing thing has gone TOO FAR. -- Mr. Bad





Pigdog Scoops E! Online -- Tjames Madison


DAY OF THE HIT MEN -- Negative Nancy


Free Hansen Email!
You can get free email with the Hansen name. And POSTCARDS! COoliO! -- Mr. Bad


Mr. T: Bad Day for Wesley
Check out this crazy comic about Mr. T and Wesley Crusher. HAW HAW HAW! (Cool Pigdog link, too.) -- Mr. Bad


Wow! They live in a HOUSE!
This group of men and women live in a HOUSE! And they use the INTERNET! Whoopety-fuckin-DOO! -- Mr. Bad


Check it out! The British Monarchy web site! Let's GET NAKED and go check it out! -- Mr. Bad


Virgin Shaglantic
Get ready... once this movie's out, everyone's going to be making that dumb Austin Powers accent all the time all over again. -- Mr. Bad

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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