From: "J.Timmermans" <email@example.com>
Subject: What the fuck????
What the fuck do you mean by saying 'dutch people are
evil'or something. Like you stinky Americans are so sweet
and never do nasty things. You oughtta know how many Amreicans come to
Holland to smoke weed or how do you call it ,Reefer???? Just because
we in a way tollerate softdrugs so there won't be any mob or
gangsters, making money and killing people. I'm sure this is
happening everywhere in Holland. Anyway, Hippies were smoking weed,
and the whole Love-generation was one happy, peacefull world to live
in. Even at Lowlands, a music-festival in the Netherlands, there were
fucking 45000+ people smoking weed, and what do you know?? Not a
single fight or riot, or nasty things like that. Everyone was
accepting each other. Could the world be better than that big 3-days
event???? I hope "'ve convinced you in your opinion about the
Netherlands, and if not, dan ben jij het grootst koppig stuk vreten,
of gewoon vet conservatief. Stomme drol!!!!!!!
Mr. Bad replies: "\/\/hatEVER! Don't ever
write to us again, you degenerate FREAK-O! If you're
gonna try and convince me that a country
whose economy is based on legalized bestiality porn and
cheap heroin is not populated ENTIRELY BY BAD PEOPLE, well,
save your cheesy breath, because I'M NOT BUYING IT.
"Really sneaky sending us an encoded message, by the
way! We ran it through Babelfish, and
your little spiel basically translates to: 'I am a big Dutch
asshole! I love windmills, kiddy porn, and buggering cows!'
Pretty sneaky, Sis.
"Anyways, we've got nothing against pot
decriminalization in your country. We just want to see the
supply of Literalist Fuckhead Pills put under stricter
Wil Shipley is a Hypocritical Ass
From: Mark & Renee Calabrese <firstname.lastname@example.org>
don't even THINK of stopping this! fantastic stuff that puts this
very public and not very convincing attempt to "not impinge the
character of my ex" very much in context. keep it up!
I Love the Great Taste of Pigdog
From: Symon Michael <email@example.com>
Subject: Pigdog T-shirts?
I'd like to purchase a pigdog shirt, if they exist. I love the logo and
I'd be happy to send you come cash if you have any clothing with the
pigdog logo on it.
Barring that, I will wait exactly one month, then copy 'pj-logo.gif' and
enlarge it, run to Office Depot and purchase some HP iron-on transfer
paper, print out my own and just do it myself.
Mr. Bad responds: "First off, I have no idea who
you're talking to. No 'Big' here.
"Second, we're actually working on a line of
merchandizable Pigdog Journal products. No shit! T-shirts,
hats, stickers, the works. So chill your balls and we'll get
it to you soon.
"Lastly, don't even THINK about infringing on Pigdog's
intellectual property and trademarks and copyright and shit
by making your own T-shirts. We have an ATTACK DOG LAWYER.
He's a disreputable shyster who's from Alabama and
wears white suits and Colonel Sanders ties and drinks too much rye
whiskey. Just for the hell of it!
"We wanted to get the Robert DeNiro character from
"Cape Fear", who's this crazy Pentecostal hillbilly with lots of
jailhouse tattoos and shit, but he's just a movie character, so we can't hire
him. DAMN!!!! Anyways, our lawyer will come GIVE YOU HELL
if you even think about damaging our copyright. So drop
that ultimatum RIGHT NOW, and BACK AWAY WITH YOUR HANDS UP!!!"
Wil Shipley is a Hypocritical Ass, pt. II
man, LOOOONNNNGGGG overdue!!!! excellent commentary on a
pseudo-drama my husband and i have been following for some time.
please keep the updates coming! great work and do keep it up, despite
what the critics say. hell, if the guy's gonna air his invective
against his ex, disguised as a "journal to help him through the hard
times" (that, oops, must have accidentally been linked to his ex's
journal where her last entry somehow disappeared), then he takes a
Spreadin' the Love
From: Tom Catalano <Tom_Catalano@Mail.Tax.CO.Santa-Clara.CA.US>
Subject: Spock Mountain Porch Sitting Rules Playa Activities!
Ola pointy-eared mountaineers! Senor Spanky here. How in the Wide, Wide
World of Sports are you hyper-whiskey slingin' porch jockeys? I can't
begin to thank you for allowing me the pleasure of sitting under the
finest awning on the playa! Your amiablity, which was matched by your
hospitality, made your porch my home away from home when Senor Spanky's
became a nightmare. And your Hyper-Whiskey gave me the courage to
bartend another 16 or 17 hours! You swell folks are always welcome at my
bar, where the drinks for you will always be on the house! I'm not quite
sure where y'all hail from, but all you need do to reach me is to e-mail
me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Get back to me when y'all get this message, ya hear!
Your amigo and ad hoc bartender,
Spanky aka TomCat
Naaahhhh... It COULDN'T Be, Could It?
From: Kim Rollins <email@example.com>
Subject: I'm not sure whether to giggle or sharpen my hatchet.
What an odd person you are.