Beverotologist, n. One who practices beverotology.
Beverotology, n. ?
The etymological origins of "beverotology" have long been in
dispute. Wolfe and Stanley, in their paper, "Theories on the
Origin of Beverotology", present a number of different
Indo-European roots that appear to argue equally for the early
interpretation and pronunciation "bev-a-reg-o-tol-igy" and the
"Bev" can be traced back to the Greek or Chaldean word for "booze" or
"dark Irish stout" (Wachter, 1737 sv). But Stanley feels that
an equally strong argument can be made for an underlying [a] sound
that would link it to the Sanskrit derivation "beav",
meaning "snizz" or "hot poonie action". He argues that the
original beverotologists were not
actually roaring drunks, but in fact, big horndogs.
Both agree that the "to" morpheme is derived from the Saxon
"tons", meaning "give me tons of that." The loss of the alvealar nasal
([n]) is easily explained by both camps by assuming that the
beverotologists themselves often had their mouths full, either of
"beverage" or "beaver," and were therefore unable to full articulate
the word-final nasal.
Although the "Beaver Theory," as it has come to be called,
remains controversial, it is clear that even today's more scientific
etymology has been influenced by a tradition which tacitly assumes
the liguistically hooter-related to be secondary or derivative,
more limited to the reflections of a social or physiological form and
function, and that is an assumption based on a cultural stereotype
which underlies the grammatical one. We should expect that the
beaver-related distortions of etymology will be reassessed in an era of
unabashed drunken indulgence.