Build Date: Thu Nov 6 23:20:33 2025 UTC
As Americans, we reserve the right to mispronounce, misspell, fuck, or kill anything that crosses our path. This is why the French can't stand us.
-- The Compulsive Splicer
| Revisionist Etymology -- Reported 1998-12-17 20:04 by MAJ | |
|
Beverotologist, n. One who practices beverotology. The etymological origins of "beverotology" have long been in dispute. Wolfe and Stanley, in their paper, "Theories on the Origin of Beverotology", present a number of different Indo-European roots that appear to argue equally for the early interpretation and pronunciation "bev-a-reg-o-tol-igy" and the later "beaver-o-tol-igy." "Bev" can be traced back to the Greek or Chaldean word for "booze" or "dark Irish stout" (Wachter, 1737 sv). But Stanley feels that an equally strong argument can be made for an underlying [a] sound that would link it to the Sanskrit derivation "beav", meaning "snizz" or "hot poonie action". He argues that the original beverotologists were not actually roaring drunks, but in fact, big horndogs. Both agree that the "to" morpheme is derived from the Saxon "tons", meaning "give me tons of that." The loss of the alvealar nasal ([n]) is easily explained by both camps by assuming that the beverotologists themselves often had their mouths full, either of "beverage" or "beaver," and were therefore unable to full articulate the word-final nasal. Although the "Beaver Theory," as it has come to be called, remains controversial, it is clear that even today's more scientific etymology has been influenced by a tradition which tacitly assumes the liguistically hooter-related to be secondary or derivative, more limited to the reflections of a social or physiological form and function, and that is an assumption based on a cultural stereotype which underlies the grammatical one. We should expect that the beaver-related distortions of etymology will be reassessed in an era of unabashed drunken indulgence. |
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