Build Date: Sun Sep 20 12:20:09 2026 UTC
I speak five languages. But it doesn't matter, because nobody understands what the hell I'm talking about.
-- Charo
The Infuriated Mandrill
1999-08-15 20:05:57
First in a regular series! The Pigdog Journal Spocktail of the Week features recipes for EXCITING and DELICIOUS potions and tonics for your quaffing pleasure! Gulp down a whole lot TODAY!
The Infuriated Mandrill takes its name from the stupefying banana flavor that drives primates wild. This delectable palate-pleaser features all the flavors of the rainbow -- ginger, anise, banana -- in a really scary light-green milky fluid. It has a fascinating presentation, since the cocktail burbles and roils geologically, even at rest.
You can try replacing the Looza (TM) with some other kind of banana nectar, but the Looza (TM) stuff has this really long, cool Euro bottle that is very space-age and Spock-like. I prefer to mix up a few Infuriated Mandrills when I'm negotiating a bootleg video smuggling scheme in the back room of an Ethiopian restaurant. It keeps those Teamster bastards off their balance long enough for me to close the deal.
Mix all ingredients. Serve chilled in highball glass with mint garnish.

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