Build Date: Mon Aug 11 04:00:59 2025 UTC
I _could_ do that. But that would require work. And I'd rather sit and complain.
-- Yosemite Sam
Orbital - Middle of NowhereMr. Bad The thing about Orbital is this: they're not a techno band. They're, like, a New Age ambient crystals-and-windchimes band that somehow stumbled onto a kickass drumset and a good pounding beat. It's like, they aren't really INTENDING to put out great techno. They just want to be Steven Reich. But I like Orbital. I dig their album, "In Sides." First off, it's got coolio squiggles on the cover that look like flying cartoon waffle irons. Also, it's got a s00per-sekrit second CD in the case that I didn't find out about for MONTHS after I had the damn album. I made the mistake of playing the second CD for the first time on the communal stereo at WORK. The first track, "Satan," goes like this:
SAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN
satansatansatansatansatansatansatansatansatansatan
satansatansatansatansatansatansatansatansatansatan
satansatansatansatansatansatansatansatansatansatan
I sheepishly took off the CD as soon as I could, but I kinda got the reputation as "The Satan Guy" anyways. Totally undeserved, too. Anyways, they've got a NEW album called "Middle of Nowhere." It's really different from "In Sides," not so much in style as in mood. "In Sides" is kind of a woolgathering stroll around the block. Not really going anywhere, wondering what's gonna happen next -- kinda mid-nineties. Remember then? But "Middle of Nowhere" is this great, optimistic-yet-sad paean to the edge-of-the-millenium. It makes you feel like the future is gonna be a great place, but it's gonna take some work. It's almost majestic. Not in a dorky way, either. It's TOTALLY cool -- kinda like Good People of the Future music. My favorite part of this album is the superfantastic incredible liner notes. It's just a whole bunch of really crazy out-of-focus snapshots, taken by the band, but they're very sunny and full of color and they have that crazy 70s look to them that just says British techno. You know what I mean? Anyways, "Middle of Nowhere" beats a sucker down with a maluminum bat. You should run out and buy it right away. Right AWAY, I said! Like, NOW! GO! |
|
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
