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I really hate having to explain my jokes.
-- Johnnie Royale

Viva La Musica

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Pigdog Journal Articles

2024-03-31

Dr. Johnny Fever's last set
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. -- Baron Earl

2024-03-01

Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. -- Ersten Wiles

2022-04-20

Record Studio Admits It: Napster Was Awesome
You've heard the song, which introduced millions to Hawaiian music legend Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. He'd posthumously shot to fame after his famous 'ukulele version of "Over the Rainbow" began turning up in ads and movie soundtracks, prompting curious music lovers to wonder, who is that singer?

Years later, a music journalist explored exactly what happened... -- El Destino

2021-07-22

Sonic Assault
You're grooving to some groovy tunes on your favorite music streaming service when... bam... you're knocked out of your reverie by the Most Annoying Song in the World. You didn't ask for it, you didn't choose it, and the music streaming service's AI didn't pick it because it's similar to 5 other songs you recently played. The AI chose that specific moment to ruin the mood with the "1-877-Kars4Kids" jingle for one reason only: to get you to pony up for a paid subscription. -- Baron Earl

2020-03-27

The Most Epic Video Call Prank Ever
Celebrity havin' fun -- specifically, Ben Folds. You know him as that guy who sang Rockin' the Suburbs (and then re-recorded it with a spoken word solo by William Shatner) -- plus a lot of other terrific songs that most people have never heard of. But I'll always remember him for this incredible series of epic video phone call pranks... -- El Destino

2019-03-30

Sing Us This Song, Piano Man
A better retirement idea for William Martin Joel. -- Flesh

2018-01-17

Eavesdropping on Geeks: Music to Protest By
Back in our sekrit headquarters, we collaborated on the ultimate music mix for a world where Donald Trump is president.

Flesh led the charge... -- Flesh, Master Squid, Baron Earl, El Destino

2017-11-06

Top Ten Reasons Morrissey Canceled a Show
How many shows of his U.S. Tour can Morrissey complete before he cancels one? We now know the answer is THREE. Morrissey just started his Fall 2017 U.S. tour and managed to complete three entire shows before canceling his show at the Vina Robles Amphitheatre in Paso Robles, California at the last minute. -- Baron Earl

2017-01-20

Mojo Nixon: Still Performing
Over 30 years after first appearing on the music scene with hits such as Stuffin' Martha's Muffin and Elvis is Everywhere, psychobilly sensation Mojo Nixon is still performing in front of live audiences. His latest musical masterpiece, Donald Trump Can Suck My Dick is now charting on YouTube. -- Baron Earl

2006-11-06

Bat Boy -- The Musical
The mountains are a horrible place to raise cows. No doubt about it. When people try, strange things happen. Like Bat Boy. -- Reverend CyberSatan

2006-07-04

Devo + Disney
Devo re-recorded 10 of their tracks with cute Disney kids singing vocals. Are they destroying Disney from within - or is it the ultimate corporate sell-out? -- El Destino

2003-08-12

It's Only A Northern Song
In a remote corner of Alaska, there is an Island. On that Island, a band is in the process of brewing up their own particular strain of mutant music. Recently, a member of this band contacted us with the most deadly question a musician can ask a rock journalist: “What do you think of our stuff?” Here’s the reply: -- Uncle Mojo

2003-07-11

Record Label's Money-grubbing Grab
Unable to figure out a digital business model and about to be disintermediated out of existence, the record labels have started eyeing the revenue bands generate on tour. Once the exclusive province of artists, records labels now want a share of the cash that comes from selling seats and T-Shirts. -- JRoyale

2003-07-08

"Justin Banged Me" Sez Britney
Banged her like the cheap lying ho she is. For years now, Britney has claimed, to the snorts and chuckles of the world, that she was a virgin saving herself for marriage. However, in a recent interview with W magazine, Britney admitted for the first time that Justin and she did the dirty deed and screwed like bunnies. -- JRoyale

2003-04-25

Highway 49 Revisited
Datelined "Historic Mariposa," the fateful press release came in like an angry wind, announcing the release of a self-produced album, "Ordinary Hero," by occasional Pigdog contributor Thom Stark, in the language and tone of a Major Event, setting off a brief firestorm around the pigdog mailing list. -- Frankenstein Jones

2003-03-14

Coming to a Theater Near You
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. -- Miss Conduct

2003-01-22

Rosen Resigns from RIAA
With the record label obituaries being written after they stupidly ignored and then fought tooth and nail against the coming age of digital music, the leader of this failed crusade and abysmal business model, Hilary Rosen, is resigning as the head of the RIAA at the end of this year. -- JRoyale

2002-08-20

Those Crazy Dutch Have Resurrected Elvis
A decade ago the tabloids were splattered with Elvis sightings. It seemed you couldn't order a peanut butter, bacon and banana sandwich anywhere without seeing The King Of Rock And Roll. Now, 25 years after his death, Elvis is alive and well and topping the British singles charts. -- Miss Conduct

2002-01-21

I Have A New Daddy, His Name Is Mohandas
Miss Conduct reviews Rube Waddell -- show and CD. -- Miss Conduct

2002-01-03

"Mr. Clean" and the porn film
You're a Republican running for Lieutenant Governor of California. Your opponent whips out a porn film for which you wrote the friggin' music. -- El Destino

2001-12-10

Ocean's 11 -- George Clooney vs. the Rat Pack
The new Ocean's 11 doesn't suck. There. I said it. -- El Destino

2001-11-30

Gimme Five on Ringo
Two down, two to go. While I weeped really hard when John Lennon's life was taken in a disgusting act of delusional desperation, I marked the passage of George Harrison with an Elton John track called "Funeral for a Friend". I imagine that when all the remembrances are finished, everyone else will reach the same question I'm at now: which one will be the last? -- Reverend CyberSatan

2001-11-30

All Beatles Must Pass
George Harrison has defied the critics once again. Rest in peace. -- Tjames Madison

2001-10-22

The King of Poop
After blessing the entire world with six years of relative silence, the self-anointed King of Pop, Michael "I Love Myself" Jackson is back to torture us all with a new album - Invincible. -- JRoyale

2001-02-27

Courtney Loves Loves MP3s
I've been doing some research on MP3s and Open Source and such and came across this slightly dated Salon article covering a speech that Courtney Love gave last June. -- JRoyale

2001-02-23

Life After Napster
By setting up a central server to act as a gateway to the service, Napster set itself up as a big fat target for the music industry. To provide free music, you need to be able to hide in plain sight. To be reachable, but not have an address. To be known, and yet anonymous. Enter Espra... -- Baron Earl

2000-11-24

Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. -- Flesh

2000-10-16

SDMI Head Says
Leonardo Chiariglione, head of the infamous SDMI Organization (boo hiss) when questioned about the Salon claim that SDMI has been completed hacked, says that "When a publication makes such a completely wrong, unfounded, anonymous slander, I think it deserves a very strong answer," -- JRoyale

2000-10-12

SDMI Hacked
This is just in and has not been confirmed, but it appears according to this Salon article that ALL of the horrible SDMI encoding schemas have been broken. All of them! -- JRoyale

2000-08-10

The Return of Prince?
It's obvious to most of the population on the planet that the man once known as Prince has for many years now, been, in polite terms, wackier than a Jerry Lewis/Dean Martin movie (just not as funny). I all but quit listening to the man after he released Around the World in a Day. I became convinced he should be commited when he changed his name to an unreferenced symbol. But he's a married man now, and the possibility that his wife has bitch-slapped some sense into the purple one is begining to show. -- Flesh

2000-08-07

Spinal Tap weighs in on Napster
Spinal Tap faced many challenges during their life on the road -- a drummer that spontaneously exploded, second billing to an amusement park puppet show, and a 30-inch Stonehenge replica that was always in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. Now the faux band, reuniting for the DVD release of their mockumentary "This is Spinal Tap," has recorded an interview voicing their opinion about Napster. -- El Destino

2000-07-08

1 Million Raving Germans Can't Be Wrong
When those Germans party... they party hardy. Over a million German techno fans took to the streets of Berlin this weekend to have a rocking good time (or is that a raving good time these days). -- JRoyale

2000-06-26

Beat Box
Mister Bad reviews the SF-local "raparetta" called "Beat Box." -- Mr. Bad

2000-06-05

The Mastered Puppets
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... -- Flesh

2000-05-21

"Rock and Roll is Very Sweet Here": Stereolab @ The Warfield 5/17/2000, San Francisco
Mr. Bad reviews the recent Stereolab show in San Francisco. -- Mr. Bad

2000-05-11

CD Prices Are A Crime
Fucking FUCK! Who the HELL do the RIAA and the music companies think they are, bitching us out as "thieves" for sharing MP3s on the Internet? What kind of fucking GALL does that take, when they're charged with CRIMINAL COLLUSION to keep the price of CDs up? -- Mr. Bad

2000-03-30

I ain't bluffing, thank your lucky stars for the Great White Death.
Ever wonder what the sound of your Dad shattering your mom's jaw with an axe-handle would sound like if put to music? Wonder no more. -- Flesh

2000-03-20

The Insipid Underbelly of SXSW
South by Southwest is the DEFINITION of a sellout alterno-entity that collapses under its own weight. Our man RAGBOY, chief of Pigdog Ranger Station One (Austin, TX), gives us a blow-by-blow of the weird side underbellies and crazy hair farmers that make SXSW the weird craziness it is. Beaujolais! -- Ragboy

2000-03-09

Time To Kick Up a Shitstorm!
Howdy. Want t'hear some fine ass-kickin' Country music? -- Flesh

2000-02-29

Neurofunk Fucking Radio
GodDAMN, I like the Neurofunk Radio station! It's the George Washington SHIT of online radio. You must go listen to Neurofunk TODAY, my friend! I insist. -- Mr. Bad

2000-01-17

Put the "Life" Back in SF "Nightlife"
The Man is putting the hurting on San Francisco clubs, but some people are fighting back. Beajolais! Flesh interviews Leslie Ayers of the San Francisco Late Night Coalition. -- Flesh

2000-01-12

Highway to Hell
Now that we've passed into the year 2000 without the world ending, a lot of doom -preaching con-artists will find their mislead flocks dissipating. What scapegoat do you think they'll be using to bring new suckers into their clutches? -- Flesh

1999-12-20

Everyone Hates Cliff Richard
Everyone in England hates Cliff Richard, which is no big surprise: I hate Cliff Richard, you hate Cliff Richard, and everyone you know probably hates Cliff Richard, too. We hate Cliff Richard because we fear Cliff Richard; we suspect he may be an Elder God sent to Earth to wreak havoc. We also hate him because we're not quite sure who he is. -- Tjames Madison

1999-12-10

Dumb Brits in Love with Hamster Music
This is why we fought the king. The weirdo Brits are about to make a song featuring samples of the music from that stupid HamsterDance site their biggest-selling record of the holiday season. -- Tjames Madison

1999-12-08

Rock is Dead
It was a sad day in Rock and Roll history today. Not only did the Rock Roll Tourist Trap er, Hall of Fame induct a most unworthy Bonnie Rait & James Taylor into their ranks, but it gets much worse. -- Flesh

1999-12-06

It's Because Your Music Sucks.
I love mp3.com. It's given me a doorway to hear new artists that I would normally never hear. Unfortunately, it's also exposed me to a lot of things that would best be left unrecorded. But that goes with the territory. Enter Dana Woodaman. A self-important musician from Oregon who would like you to believe that the reason his CD's aren't selling has nothing to do with the music. -- Flesh

1999-10-23

I'm Fond o' Vonda
Sure, it's easy to sell Vonda Shepard short over her singing on the runaway hit TV show "Alley McBeal." But few people realize that "V.S." has been in the music biz for YEARS before that show. I, for one, have been a longtime appreciater of her art and work. -- Mr. Bad

1999-10-20

I Wish I Could Hate Greenwitch.com
Man, there's something about on-line music companies that just gets under my skin. I dunno know what it is. I wish I could hate Greenwitch.com, but I don't. Damn. -- Mr. Bad

1999-08-11

Your Repetition Will Never Be Accepted
The Fall has a new album out. It is like all the 30-odd albums they've put out before. It is real good, and it sounds just like the Fall. -- Tjames Madison

1999-08-10

Lamb - Fear of Fours
Yet another music review from Mr. Bad! This one is about Lamb! Not the Sharry Lewis hand puppet. The OTHER Lamb. -- Mr. Bad

1999-08-06

Blur Are Shite
The British band Mogwai has come up with a rather novel marketing scheme. Taking aim at the popular group they'll be sharing headliner status with at an upcoming British rock festival, Mogwai will be selling, at the festival, a shirt inscribed with a simple declaration -- "Blur: Are Shite". -- Tjames Madison

1999-08-04

Horrible Club Threatened with Closure
So, I really don't like this 1015 Folsom club here in San Francisco all that much. It's real gross with lots of muscleheads and big-hair suburbanites and stuff. But, well, you should help keep them from getting shut down. -- Mr. Bad

1999-08-03

Call Yerselves Bloody Professionals?
More fingers are pointing in even more directions in the aftermath of the stoopidest "event" in recent memory, Woodstock '99. -- Tjames Madison

1999-07-28

Jandek is Indestructible
Poor Jandek: all he wants is to spend his whole life recording incomprehensible, amateurish music, self-releasing albums about once a year and never playing live, giving interviews or making public appearances, and just plain to be left alone, and now somebody had to go and reveal that he's just some middle-aged guy in a fancy suit. -- Tjames Madison

1999-07-26

Are you scared, little punk? You should be.
Many bands in this day and age would like you to believe how they are bad-assed, or just plain bad people. In most cases, though, they'll be nothing more than a bunch of slack-jawed suburban kiddies, still living in their mom and dad's basement. This is not the case with Atari Teenage Riot. -- Flesh

1999-07-08

Bing Crosby Music Used to Torture Teenagers!!
Geez, it's hard to be a Bad Kid these days, everyone is out to get ya in one way or another! -- Ms.BunnyPenny

1999-07-06

Live 365 -- What the hell are they thinking?
Man, so Live 365 has some of the killerest Internet radio stations ever. Like, real real good stuff (I like Fastwater myself). But check this out: they want to give you 100 Mb of Web space FREEE! -- Mr. Bad

1999-06-20

Solex vs. the Pigdog
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. -- The Compulsive Splicer

1999-06-12

Orbital - Middle of Nowhere
Orbital has a new album. This is a review. Gar gar gar. -- Mr. Bad

1999-05-20

Gangster Rap in RealAudio
The people at DogDay records have produced a website featuring RealAudio samples of all of their top artists. If you hate this kind of music, you will like it even less after visiting this site. -- Pao Tzu

1999-03-14

The Gold Standard
I've gone over and over trying to figure out a good way to describe this site, and I just can't. All I can say is that it illustrates one of the REALLY BEST things about the Web -- frantically obsessed people collecting huge passels of information not available anywhere else, and PUBLISHING it, and then getting more info from readers, and publishing that, etc. It's a totally cool model for JOURNALISM and just plain REFERENCE, and when the subject of RESEARCH is the FABULOUS SOLID GOLD DANCERS (!!!!!), you're in for nothing for pure sexy informative fun, baby. -- Mr. Bad

1999-02-02

Public Enemy Strikes Back
In response to the glove being thrown down by the powers that be, Public Enemy is leaving their former label. As extra spite, they put up a scorching track that blasts not only Def Jam, but the music industry in general! -- Flesh

1999-01-25

Ink-stained Wretches
Hey, so, Ink Blot Magazine, eh? It's a Web zine about music. They have lots of music stuff, and really amateurish hacked-up Photoshopped GIFs of, like, Marilyn Manson with the head of Klinger from "M*A*S*H". Ha ha. -- Mr. Bad

1998-12-03

Man... or Astroman?
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. -- Daemon Agent

1998-12-02

Pigdog All Licketysplit
New music review on Pigdog Journal: _Solex_vs_Hitmeister_, fabulous evil technostravaganza from evil Dutch mastermind Solex. -- Mr. Bad

Offsite links shared by staff writers

2018-02-23

2017-12-28

2017-12-22

2017-05-03

Fyre Fest Lawsuit -- Baron Earl

2003-03-14

VIVA LA MUSICA!!!
Beastie Boys Given it Away for Peace -- Miss Conduct

2003-01-11

2002-12-17

Hobbit Rappin' -- LiquorPig

2002-07-27

2002-06-22

Oranges and Graphic Design
TMBG Dial-a-song of yesteryear, reincarnated today as a kooky Flash app. Boojoo. -- Dkr. Armand Geddyn

2002-05-25

Translation, Please
If someone could please send me email telling me how to translate the word 'Dieterfest' into Quebecois French, I'd really appreciate it. -- Mr. Bad

2002-03-09

C.W. McWho?
Tales of the Four-Wheel Cowboy: a Tribute to America's Greatest [sic] Story-Teller -- Mr. Bad

2002-02-13

Rocking Under Satan's House
Living there, you'll be free, if you truly want to be. -- Mr. Bad

2001-07-27

shiggity shiggity shwa
Mario Brothers was never this good till now... -- Daemon Agent

2001-07-23

2001-03-03

Pro-Napster artists -- El Destino

2000-11-10

Fuck You and Your Street Cred
*Fuck* you and your street cred, man. If being cool means I can't watch the No Doubt "Bathwater" video, I DON'T WANNA BE COOL. -- Mr. Bad

2000-10-20

Chef Juke's Music of the Week
Chef Juke knows his music. And he puts new stuff up each week. I just listened to "Tie Me Kangaroo Down" and I'm pretty happy. -- Mr. Bad

2000-10-09

I Have It on Good Authority
I have it on good authority that it was actually EL SNATCHER who let the dogs out. -- Mr. Bad

2000-08-03

Stop the Rave Menace in Your Community
Mr. and Mrs. American Citizen and all the ships at sea! Do your part to stop the rave menace in your community! -- Mr. Bad

2000-07-19

True Love is the Land of a Thousand Dances
B-E-E-T-S, not B-E-A-T-S. -- Mr. Bad

2000-07-18

Stupid Ravers
Haw haw! Raves and ravers are stupid. Don't go to raves, kids. Gimme those drugs; Mr. Bad will dispose of them properly. -- Mr. Bad

2000-07-17

I Bought A Toothbrush, Some Toothpaste, a Flannel for My Face
I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste, a flannel for my face. -- Mr. Bad

2000-07-09

Lingua Ravia
The dictionary you need for those difficult raver terms. Luvly. -- Mr. Bad

2000-06-28

Dammit, I'm Pissed
I can't tell you how disappointed I am that the Salt-N-Pepa Clubhouse has closed its doors. Fucking hell! Like the man says, 'Take care of each other - Salt-N-Pepa would want it that way!' -- Mr. Bad

2000-05-09

I'm In Love With Your Girlfriend
Check it! Mojo Nixon gots a posse. Go look at the live Web cam of Mojo moanin' with your mama. -- Mr. Bad

2000-04-05

2000-03-25

2000-03-16

Banging Trance & Goa MP3 Station
Philosomatica -- Crazy-ass Goa and Trance, 24x7 and shit. Yeah, it's all hippy-raver crap, but dig the BOOMING BEAT. -- Mr. Bad

2000-02-02

1999-07-15

Orbital's Web site -- El Snatcher

1999-06-30

Another cool Web Radio Station
Technostate: good music for BPotF. Check 'em out! -- Mr. Bad

1999-06-28

1999-06-11

We Don't Need Another Hero
I went looking for MasterBlaster and instead I got Dutch RAVERS. Is there life beyond THUNDERDOME? -- Mr. Bad

1999-06-10

1999-05-27

1999-05-27

1999-05-25

LoudFactory KICKS ASS
Groove to the hippy-trippy techno beautality of Loud Factory! Rockin. -- Mr. Bad

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