We're not like the others.  We really hate you.




I applaud the coming apocalypse.
-- Mr. Bad


Pigdog Christmas Wish Lists -- Compiled 1998-12-28 08:03 by Mr. Bad

OK, well, more Pigdog staffers came in with Christmas wish lists over the weekend. I don't know what these are supposed to prove, but I'd be remiss not to report them -- if only to publicly record their dreams, so when they're dashed on 12/25/1999, we can all laugh at them.

Uh, OK, more lists.


  • Another chance to do New Orleans. This time w/o a fat southern pedophile to ruin all the fun.
  • Two round trip tickets to Alaska- a month.
  • A nice big house on the side of a Mountain.

Thom Stark:

  • World peace
  • Universal harmony
  • Fluffy puppies for all humankind

Thom adds: "Oh..you meant what I REALLY want for Xmas? Because my needs are simple, there's really only two things:"

  • Galactic Domination
  • Personal Immortality


  • a fully usable (Drexlerian) assembler, with a nice NanoCAD/simulator GUI.
  • a library of well-debugged designs for the above
  • a bottle of Laphroaig single malt to have a second data point vs Auchentoshan
  • a (wearable|implantable) Linux box automagically upgrading itself without breaking anything
  • have my H1B visa arrive soonest
  • a bottle of a cumulative smart drug which truly deserves the term
  • instant godhead toolkit (first point is a good substitute, though)

"Tricky" Rick Moen:

  • "I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I'd look up at your lifeless eyes and wave like this."

Rick adds: Actually, most years, surviving Christmas is gift enough. Life recommences after the 26th.


  • A hole so deep that things you drop in it reappear in your house
  • Mountains so tall that they freshen your breath
  • A diet soda so delicious that it can cure headaches
  • Paper so thin that it can pass through your body unnoticed
  • A Guinness so strong that it colors your socks
  • Espresso so dark that it causes you to go blind
  • An apartment so large that the front door never leads into the same room twice in a row
  • A woman so tender that she crumbles to dust in my hands, leaving me with nothing but a fond memory of what could have


    Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.


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