From the Desk of Pigdog Ice Station One

Report- Colorado shootings media coverage update

It is now 10:56 Pacific Standard Time, April 24 in the year of our lord 1999. Four days ago, two very disturbed individuals walked into their suburban high school and began playing their own private real-life version of a Quake death match. By the time they shuffled off this mortal coil, they left behind enough mindless carnage to push even the most jaded battle-hardened Vietnam vet to tears. The rest of the world was left to ponder what happened and why.

When you get down to brass tacks, the most perfect creature to currently roam this planet is the Shark. So perfect, in fact, that no more evolutionary streamlining or modifications are needed. It is said that a shark's senses are so sharp, it can detect a drop of blood miles away. The same can be said of the modern media. Blood was spilled, and within minutes the streamlined media machine converged -- looking to feed.

In the past three days, people have been demanding answers. The problem is that they want SANE answers to an event that holds no rational reasoning whatsoever. It is the perfect fodder for such shysters as evangelist Bob Larson. On his radio show, Bob offered the following in regards to the killing spree:

• Marilyn Manson is responsible for the killings.
• Putting on callers claiming to be kids who "were in the area", two of which claimed to be from the school. One said that her friends caused this to happen by casting a spell involving "the South Gate", and some of her other friends were involved in the actual shooting.
• Kids should not be allowed to wear trench coats.
• One of the "Trench Coat Mafia" was an AOL user, his handle...Azriall.
• Send him money to keep Satan from doing these things in the future.

When it comes to such con artists it's a given that they'll offer up this kind of bovine dung, gold spray-painted to appear as valuable nuggets of truth.

Unfortunately, it didn't end here.

In the world of sharks, there is a fascinating event that takes place when there are more sharks than there is food. In a blind blood-scent driven desperation, each individual shark will try to take as much of the food as it can. When it comes in contact with something meaty and solid, the jaws will snap down, tearing away at whatever it came in contact with. In more instances than not, it's usually soft underbelly of a competing shark -- which in turn generates more blood, which drives these perfect killing machines further into the depths of lunacy. This is commonly known as a feeding frenzy. No shark is immune to falling prey to it. It should be noted that their media counterparts are not immune either.

For the question, "Why did these two kids do this?" there is only one simple answer: "They were fucking nuts." [What drove them psychotic is another matter.] This answer, though, does not register well for the rational mind, because the thought process will spit out the same answer over and over: "But a child could never do this!" How wrong they are. A trip to any mental hospital will confirm this. Kids are not only capable of committing acts of mindless violence, but have since the dawn of human history.

So we are left with a starving mass of aroused carnivores, all after the same single, bleeding piece of food. To date, we have heard the following erroneous information about the two implicated in this crime:

1. They were Goths.
2. One of the two listened to a German "Nazi" band called KMFDM
3. They killed 25 people
4. They had posted a warning about their actions online
5. They were members of a group called "The Trench Coat Mafia"
6. This was the worst school killing in US History

This list grows daily.

Several years ago, the band Negativland demonstrated how the mass media was far more interested in getting a story out, than making sure what they were reporting was not only accurate, but true. This resulted in the album/documentary "Helter Stupid".

You'd think that after having their noses rubbed so hard in their own mess, the media wouldn't repeat the same mistake. Think again.

Time and time again in the past three days, false or incorrect information has been circulating back and forth. To date, the two are still being referred to as being members of "The Trench Coat Mafia", despite current and former members denying this (as well as photographic evidence).

Well, to this I say, "Here's a fire- let's throw more gasoline on it."

To demonstrate the fact that the mass media would rather get a headline out first, before checking on it's validity, Pigdog could issue the following press both via email and posted to the web site under the banner "We are very sorry."

WE ARE VERY SORRY

OFFICIAL PRESS-RELEASE ISSUED BY SMRL Staff 4/23/99:

Statement from the Pigdog staff regarding the recent events in Littleton, CO:

The staff & members of Pigdog would like to express their deepest and most heartfelt sympathy for the parents, families and friends of the murdered and injured in Littleton Colorado. We are sickened and appalled by what has happened. Our sympathies also go out to those that found themselves in the unfortunate position of being associated with these two lunatics. You were not responsible for their actions and it is our utmost wish that their actions will not reflect on you.

Pigdog would also like to state that any and all information found on Pigdog, and any of its members' web sites is strictly for entertainment and education purposes only. And while some material may be deemed as controversial, it is only dangerous when it is used to harm and hurt, rather than educate and illuminate.

Note: there is nothing in this press release that says we supplied any information to the assailants, or have any connection with them. But that wouldn't stop the press. Within 24 hours, breaking-new headlines would read "Web site linked to killers." "Did computer group supply killers with bomb information?" and so on.

It wouldn't matter one iota to them that it is nothing but a statement expressing sympathy for victims of the shooting on all sides, and a endorsement of freedom of speech and freedom of the press. If it turns out what they are reporting is wrong, they'll shrug it off and move on as if nothing happened, as recently demonstrated so well by muckraker and pseudo-reporter Matt Drudge. "Hey I just report the information. You don't expect me to verify it do you? Who do you think I am, Carl Bernstein or Bob Woodward?"

Sadly, people are no longer interested in having Edward R. Murrow or Walter Cronkite deliver the current events. Instead, Jerry Springer tells us what's happening in our world, with field reporting done by Geraldo Rivera. I expect a day very shortly where a two-story house fire is reported as "Fiery skyscraper inferno. Hundreds dead!" Don't think it can happen? Ask the families of the 25, I mean 20, I mean 15 dead.