Jerkcity comix

     
 

Coming to a Theater Near You
2003-03-14 17:10:59


Viva La Musica
 
No surgery could hide the sparkle of brilliant nuck clone mastermind evil that you have in your eyes.
-- Mr. Bad

 

My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year.

What can I say? It's a brilliant idea whose time has finally come. How many of us instinctively click the mute button before that bom-shika-bom-ing ruins the effect of our favorite 69 scene? The answer, of course, is: you, you, you and you (and me). Well No More, I say! The PornOrchestra is here to transform it all with their radical reinterpretations of the pornographic film soundtrack. The equivalent of a circus band, the PornOrchestra (warmed up by a keg of Budweiser) will be performing live originally composed scores to pornographic films using the most eclectic and creative classical music minds working in the Bay Area today.

In the same vein as the silent film experience, muted porn films are projected onto a big screen behind the accompanying orchestra. The instruments will be doing the talking. Mariemont suggests, "Instruments are expressive enough to create nonhuman vocals and dialogue." Some of these films appeared one day in Mariemont's mailbox with little handwritten notes attached. Of these uninvited (though not unwelcome) treasures, Mariemont selected works by Dean Mermell and Jacques Boyreau from Storyfarm. The films are described as, "interesting, recycled 70's porn invested with Mondrian embellishments and a torn down, funky, impressionist/cubist sensibility...hard to describe, yet important." "It's the 'hard to describe' part that really piqued my interest," states Mariemont.

If you desire a tease and thrill, are aching for the perfect First Date destination or you're yearning for an alternative to the 75th Annual Academy Awards (I assure you that none of these films have been nominated), check out the PornOrchestra's two "Rilly Big Shews" next weekend at:

21 Grand
Saturday and Sunday, March 22 and 23, 2003
8 pm | sliding scale $6-$10
449B 23rd Street
Oakland, California
(No children under 17 permitted)

Mention that you came for "The Rilly Big Shew" and win a fabulous free "pornorchestra.com" gold foil truck-stop sticker.

Like a little foreplay? Then give a listen to kalx 90.7 fm tomorrow, Saturday, March 15, 2003 from 5:30-6:30 pm.

Fret not, if you miss these opportunities you can shoot your wad at:

Parkway Theater
Thursday, June 12, 2003
9 pm | $8
1834 Park Boulevard
Oakland, California
(Ages 21 and over)

Mariemont's original scores are not recorded and many will be improvised, so I recommend coming again and again.

P.S. To find out YOUR porn name, go here OR simply combine the name of your first pet with the name of the first street you ever lived on (for example, I'm Kitty Elwood and my mom is Fluffy Moraga).

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

dabble@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

T O P   S T O R I E S

Larry Wall Unveils Perl 6.0.0
by El Destino

Political Judo
by Thom 'Starky' Stark

What the hell is going on with Sony?
by Andrew A. Gill

UK Ministry of Defense redacts classified info by changing background color to black
by Baron Earl

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

04-06

El Destino

George Takei demonstrates why he should be playing Spider-Man

04-01

El Destino

High school students sacrifice chickens to improve their batting average

03-31

Baron Earl

Creating a wall-hangable computer from an Ikea shadow box frame

03-26

Eugene Leitl

Spock + octopus

03-26

Baron Earl

Justice Department sends borrower to jail, declines to prosecute Countrywide CEO

03-26

Baron Earl

BBC News covers SXSW Dorkbot

03-24

Baron Earl

How to Identify a Chupacabra

03-21

JRoyale

My Fucking Job is Unbelievable

03-20

Baron Earl

Absinthe documentary

03-20

Baron Earl

UFO over Oswego

03-20

Baron Earl

Stone-washed cyclocomputer

03-15

JRoyale

Can She Taste the Roofies?

03-13

JRoyale

Pizza Delivery Instructions

More Quickies...