Build Date: Fri Nov 13 07:12:52 2026 UTC
When The Going Gets Weird, The Weird Turn Pro
-- HST
| Revisionist Etymology -- Reported 1998-12-17 20:04 by MAJ | |
|
Beverotologist, n. One who practices beverotology. The etymological origins of "beverotology" have long been in dispute. Wolfe and Stanley, in their paper, "Theories on the Origin of Beverotology", present a number of different Indo-European roots that appear to argue equally for the early interpretation and pronunciation "bev-a-reg-o-tol-igy" and the later "beaver-o-tol-igy." "Bev" can be traced back to the Greek or Chaldean word for "booze" or "dark Irish stout" (Wachter, 1737 sv). But Stanley feels that an equally strong argument can be made for an underlying [a] sound that would link it to the Sanskrit derivation "beav", meaning "snizz" or "hot poonie action". He argues that the original beverotologists were not actually roaring drunks, but in fact, big horndogs. Both agree that the "to" morpheme is derived from the Saxon "tons", meaning "give me tons of that." The loss of the alvealar nasal ([n]) is easily explained by both camps by assuming that the beverotologists themselves often had their mouths full, either of "beverage" or "beaver," and were therefore unable to full articulate the word-final nasal. Although the "Beaver Theory," as it has come to be called, remains controversial, it is clear that even today's more scientific etymology has been influenced by a tradition which tacitly assumes the liguistically hooter-related to be secondary or derivative, more limited to the reflections of a social or physiological form and function, and that is an assumption based on a cultural stereotype which underlies the grammatical one. We should expect that the beaver-related distortions of etymology will be reassessed in an era of unabashed drunken indulgence. |
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
Robert Helms makes a living volunteering for medical experiments. Though Helms — and almost all guinea pigs — get paid for their participation in medical trials, they are still "volunteers" according to a byzantine legal code. They are compensated for their time, not paid to ingest medicine. He and "guinea pigs" like him have learned the intimate art of taking catheters in their veins, tubes in their intestines, EKG electrodes on their nipples. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
