Build Date: Sun Jun 15 16:04:08 2025 UTC
I'll do my best! Don't expect too much!
-- Paul Vortex
Beverotology Today
Understandizing the NOBLE SCIENCE of Beverotology to the masses and shit.
Pigdog Journal Articles
2023-03-23
German brewery Klosterbrauerei Neuzelle has developed what it's calling "powdered beer". Add the powder to a glass of water and you get a glass of what looks and smells like beer. What they're not telling people are the serious downsides of their new beverage, drawbacks that offend the palate and sensibilities of beer drinkers everywhere. What they've invented is swill.
2011-04-08
From the Smoked Tomato Martini to the Bacon Mezcal Margarita, bars across Southern California are combining meat and alcohol in the same glass, giving birth to a beautifully bloated abomination, the meat cocktail.
2007-05-24
Knock, knock, knock... is this thing on? Hello??? Anybody out there? Guess it doesn't matter. Anyways, I'm back, for one article at least, maybe more. So what's all the big deal that drags Johnny Royale out of his drunken stupor? Well, ok, I'm still in a drunken stupor, but I have something to say.
2007-04-19
Bowing to pressure brought on by Pigdog Journal, the Minneapolis Metropolitan Airports Commission has finally caved. Passengers disembarking at the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that they can now catch a cab no matter how much booze they're carrying.
2006-10-03
Discrimination involving Muslims has surfaced at an airport in Minnesota, but rather than fighting it airport officials are doing their best to institutionalize this blatant discrimination and make it their official policy.
2006-08-21
Americans need to know who their friends are and now. That's been a tall order since long before Archie Bunker wondered what trick Nixon had up his sleeve pretending to make peace with the ChiComs. Our own State Department is standing proof that you can spend seven years at Georgetown, ace the Foreign Service Exam, and still not know your Assyrians from your asshole.
2004-02-28
Finland is bracing for increased drinking this Monday, when state-regulated alcohol prices drop by nearly 40 percent.
2003-06-30
Jealousy... it makes one green and right now I’m emerald and lime. It seems for the first time in recorded medical history a person has two fully functional livers.
2002-06-02
One of the rewards of having friends from different ethnic and cultural backgrounds is that, by sharing their rituals and traditions, your own horizons are broadened. I've recently had the luck to witness a bit of the rich heritage shared by white boys in the bedroom community of Walnut Creek. The traditional foodways of Walnut Creek include many spicy and exotic dishes such as Mini Pizza Pockets and Instant Four-Cheese Pasta Helper. But flavorful as they are, none of these foods share in the loving reverence - the intense mystique - that surrounds the Big Gulp.
2002-04-22
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi.
2002-02-07
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie.
Offsite links shared by staff writers
2023-03-17
2019-03-23
2011-04-25
2011-04-25
2006-08-09
2005-12-15
Wanna drink something with bubbles in it sometime over the next couple of weeks but without breaking the bank? If you don't mind going through the registration rigamarole the New York Times can set you up.
2003-04-16
Because Fairfax is not an isolated incident.
2003-01-23
Boozing Rule #33: The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.
2002-12-23
2002-12-05
Finally! A brilliant Vegas enjoyment system by a boner-gobbling cartoon alien. Area 51 unfortunately not mentioned.
2002-10-10
Meaning of the word 'tart'
2002-04-27
Liquor pops anyone?
2002-03-15
Guinness eyes are smiling.
2002-02-17
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
Pao Tzu: Obtaining San Pedro Cactus
Horticultural clone master, Pao Tzu, guides you through the ins and outs of stealing hallucinogenic cacti from your neighbors' yards. Ooh la la! (More...)
Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
If you broke into Pigdog's top sekrit headquarters, spying on their mysterious mix of weird science and old-skool geekiness, you'd overhear this conversation: (More...)
