Build Date: Sat Apr 20 01:50:18 2024 UTC
He had that rare weird electricity about him -- that extremely wild and heavy presence that you only see in a person who has abandoned all hope of ever behaving `normally.
-- HST
Beverotology Today
Understandizing the NOBLE SCIENCE of Beverotology to the masses and shit.
Pigdog Journal Articles
2023-03-23
German brewery Klosterbrauerei Neuzelle has developed what it's calling "powdered beer". Add the powder to a glass of water and you get a glass of what looks and smells like beer. What they're not telling people are the serious downsides of their new beverage, drawbacks that offend the palate and sensibilities of beer drinkers everywhere. What they've invented is swill.
2011-04-08
From the Smoked Tomato Martini to the Bacon Mezcal Margarita, bars across Southern California are combining meat and alcohol in the same glass, giving birth to a beautifully bloated abomination, the meat cocktail.
2007-05-24
Knock, knock, knock... is this thing on? Hello??? Anybody out there? Guess it doesn't matter. Anyways, I'm back, for one article at least, maybe more. So what's all the big deal that drags Johnny Royale out of his drunken stupor? Well, ok, I'm still in a drunken stupor, but I have something to say.
2007-04-19
Bowing to pressure brought on by Pigdog Journal, the Minneapolis Metropolitan Airports Commission has finally caved. Passengers disembarking at the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that they can now catch a cab no matter how much booze they're carrying.
2006-10-03
Discrimination involving Muslims has surfaced at an airport in Minnesota, but rather than fighting it airport officials are doing their best to institutionalize this blatant discrimination and make it their official policy.
2006-08-21
Americans need to know who their friends are and now. That's been a tall order since long before Archie Bunker wondered what trick Nixon had up his sleeve pretending to make peace with the ChiComs. Our own State Department is standing proof that you can spend seven years at Georgetown, ace the Foreign Service Exam, and still not know your Assyrians from your asshole.
2004-02-28
Finland is bracing for increased drinking this Monday, when state-regulated alcohol prices drop by nearly 40 percent.
2003-06-30
Jealousy... it makes one green and right now I’m emerald and lime. It seems for the first time in recorded medical history a person has two fully functional livers.
2002-06-02
One of the rewards of having friends from different ethnic and cultural backgrounds is that, by sharing their rituals and traditions, your own horizons are broadened. I've recently had the luck to witness a bit of the rich heritage shared by white boys in the bedroom community of Walnut Creek. The traditional foodways of Walnut Creek include many spicy and exotic dishes such as Mini Pizza Pockets and Instant Four-Cheese Pasta Helper. But flavorful as they are, none of these foods share in the loving reverence - the intense mystique - that surrounds the Big Gulp.
2002-04-22
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi.
2002-02-07
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie.
Offsite links shared by staff writers
2023-03-17
2019-03-23
2011-04-25
2011-04-25
2006-08-09
2005-12-15
Wanna drink something with bubbles in it sometime over the next couple of weeks but without breaking the bank? If you don't mind going through the registration rigamarole the New York Times can set you up.
2003-04-16
Because Fairfax is not an isolated incident.
2003-01-23
Boozing Rule #33: The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.
2002-12-23
2002-12-05
Finally! A brilliant Vegas enjoyment system by a boner-gobbling cartoon alien. Area 51 unfortunately not mentioned.
2002-10-10
Meaning of the word 'tart'
2002-04-27
Liquor pops anyone?
2002-03-15
Guinness eyes are smiling.
2002-02-17
T O P S T O R I E S
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Yet another delicious SPOCKTAIL from the SMRL Beverage Science Labs! Check under the cap for your chance to win thousands of fabulous prizes! (More...)
Naked Australian Redhead -- Missing!
She posed naked on the web, fought for pornography online, and even kept an online "Diary of a Virtual Girlfriend." But after earning a place in internet history, Bernadette Taylor vanished without a trace. (More...)
Alright kids, this is the column where you write in with the lurid details of your personal lives, and I put them on the Internet for everyone to snicker at. But also, I give you a free Tarot reading, so there's that. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
