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Beverotology Today

What can we say? We like the cars, the cars that go boom. And we like a little drinky-poo now and again. Beaujolais!

Understandizing the NOBLE SCIENCE of Beverotology to the masses and shit.

Pigdog Journal Articles


German Brewery Creates Powdered Swill
German brewery Klosterbrauerei Neuzelle has developed what it's calling "powdered beer". Add the powder to a glass of water and you get a glass of what looks and smells like beer. What they're not telling people are the serious downsides of their new beverage, drawbacks that offend the palate and sensibilities of beer drinkers everywhere. What they've invented is swill. -- Baron Earl


Meat Cocktails
From the Smoked Tomato Martini to the Bacon Mezcal Margarita, bars across Southern California are combining meat and alcohol in the same glass, giving birth to a beautifully bloated abomination, the meat cocktail. -- Baron Earl


Finally, the MSM does some real reporting
Knock, knock, knock... is this thing on? Hello??? Anybody out there? Guess it doesn't matter. Anyways, I'm back, for one article at least, maybe more. So what's all the big deal that drags Johnny Royale out of his drunken stupor? Well, ok, I'm still in a drunken stupor, but I have something to say. -- JRoyale


Power of the Press
Bowing to pressure brought on by Pigdog Journal, the Minneapolis Metropolitan Airports Commission has finally caved. Passengers disembarking at the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that they can now catch a cab no matter how much booze they're carrying. -- Baron Earl


Drive no wine before its time
Discrimination involving Muslims has surfaced at an airport in Minnesota, but rather than fighting it airport officials are doing their best to institutionalize this blatant discrimination and make it their official policy. -- Baron Earl


The Liquor Freedom Indicator
Americans need to know who their friends are and now. That's been a tall order since long before Archie Bunker wondered what trick Nixon had up his sleeve pretending to make peace with the ChiComs. Our own State Department is standing proof that you can spend seven years at Georgetown, ace the Foreign Service Exam, and still not know your Assyrians from your asshole. -- Steve Dallas, Esq.


Finland Expected To Drink More
Finland is bracing for increased drinking this Monday, when state-regulated alcohol prices drop by nearly 40 percent. -- LiquorPig


Two, Count Them Two, Livers!!!
Jealousy... it makes one green and right now I’m emerald and lime. It seems for the first time in recorded medical history a person has two fully functional livers. -- JRoyale


Legends of the Big Gulp
One of the rewards of having friends from different ethnic and cultural backgrounds is that, by sharing their rituals and traditions, your own horizons are broadened. I've recently had the luck to witness a bit of the rich heritage shared by white boys in the bedroom community of Walnut Creek. The traditional foodways of Walnut Creek include many spicy and exotic dishes such as Mini Pizza Pockets and Instant Four-Cheese Pasta Helper. But flavorful as they are, none of these foods share in the loving reverence - the intense mystique - that surrounds the Big Gulp. -- Siduri


The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. -- Siduri


Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. -- Siduri

Offsite links shared by staff writers





The NYT provides the skinny on cheap (but good) champaigne
Wanna drink something with bubbles in it sometime over the next couple of weeks but without breaking the bank? If you don't mind going through the registration rigamarole the New York Times can set you up. -- Ocho Ha!


Modern Drunkard Magazine
Because Fairfax is not an isolated incident. -- Siduri


The 86 Rules Of Boozing
Boozing Rule #33: The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor. -- Miss Conduct


Rands Vegas System
Finally! A brilliant Vegas enjoyment system by a boner-gobbling cartoon alien. Area 51 unfortunately not mentioned. -- Mr. Bad


300 Year Old Contraception Method Resurfaces
Meaning of the word 'tart' -- Miss Conduct


Suck On This!
Liquor pops anyone? -- Miss Conduct


Guinness Eyes Are Smiling
Guinness eyes are smiling. -- JRoyale


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