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OK, well, more Pigdog staffers came in with Christmas
wish lists over the weekend. I don't know what these are
supposed to prove, but I'd be remiss not to report them --
if only to publicly record their dreams, so when they're
dashed on 12/25/1999, we can all laugh at them.
Uh, OK, more lists.
Flesh:
- Another chance to do New Orleans. This time w/o a fat
southern pedophile to ruin all the fun.
- Two round trip tickets to Alaska- a month.
- A nice big house on the side of a Mountain.
Thom Stark:
- World peace
- Universal harmony
- Fluffy puppies for all humankind
Thom adds: "Oh..you meant what I REALLY want for Xmas?
Because my needs are simple, there's really only two things:"
- Galactic Domination
- Personal Immortality
Eugene:
- a fully usable (Drexlerian) assembler, with a nice NanoCAD/simulator GUI.
- a library of well-debugged designs for the above
- a bottle of Laphroaig single malt to have a second data point vs Auchentoshan
- a (wearable|implantable) Linux box automagically upgrading itself without breaking anything
- have my H1B visa arrive soonest
- a bottle of a cumulative smart drug which truly deserves the term
- instant godhead toolkit (first point is a good substitute, though)
"Tricky" Rick Moen:
- "I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your
head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations
that some favors come with too high a price. I'd look up at your
lifeless eyes and wave like this."
Rick adds: Actually, most years, surviving Christmas
is gift enough. Life recommences after the 26th.
Crackmonkey:
- A hole so deep that things you drop in it reappear in your
house
- Mountains so tall that they freshen your breath
- A diet soda so delicious that it can cure headaches
- Paper so thin that it can pass through your body unnoticed
- A Guinness so strong that it colors your socks
- Espresso so dark that it causes you to go blind
- An apartment so large that the front door never leads into
the same room twice in a row
- A woman so tender that she crumbles to dust in my hands,
leaving me with nothing but a fond memory of what could have
dunsmuir@pigdog.org
Dr. Johnny Fever's last set
by Baron Earl
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
by Baron Earl
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Life on The I-80
by Flesh
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the
drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire
on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our
intrepid travelers made on their journey into the
heartland. (More...)
Coming to a Theater Near You
by Miss Conduct
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
Panic In Portland City
by Flesh
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this
hotel that my political party has rented out for the
evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for
whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in
Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the
places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling
that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
by JRoyale
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
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