Celebrity endorsement impersonated

     

 

 

A one gigabyte hard drive. I'll never delete a file again!
-- Doctor Murdock, in 1994

 

Mr. Bad's List -- Reported 1999-03-01 23:46 by Mr. Bad
I'm begging you

This week's list: Please, No More

  • movies about how much it sucks to be Irish
  • rain
  • Rick Moen publicity stunts
  • Betty Page bangs
  • low-quality 2300-page technical books
  • feather boas
  • junkies
  • Web diaries
  • day-time talk shows
  • Dilbert crap
  • slick and insincere Web startup CEOs
  • slick and sincere Web startup CEOs
  • designer drugs
  • Gary Coleman dogpiling
  • muscle cars
  • Linux distributions
  • stabbings
  • MTV
  • swing dancing
  • late payments
  • CPUs named "Pentium Something"
  • Carmen Elektra
  • Anne Rice novels
  • buffalo wings OR jalapeno poppers
  • pompous Web awards shows
  • John Denver memorial schlock
  • Princess Diana memorial schlock
  • Savannah memorial schlock
  • "Bay Area Backroads"
  • cities in the Pacific Northwest
  • transuranic elements
  • W I R E D
  • tiresome Viagra jokes
  • Buddhist monks who make weird throat noises for money
  • NATO bombings
  • threats of NATO bombings
  • squirrel attacks
  • TV commercials featuring snowboarders
  • TV commercials
  • TV
  • brew pubs
  • browser plug-ins
  • taxes
  • cancer
  • stories about e-Bay
  • "surreal" porn flicks with starlets in gorilla masks
  • object-relational databases
  • movies from the creators of "South Park"
  • iMacs
  • first-person shooters
  • Sandra Bernhard
  • Sarah Bernhardt
  • Dagwood Bumstead
  • sickeningly hypocritical human rights addresses by Clinton or his Cabinet
  • lime-flavored corn chips
  • Nick Nolte movies
  • PDAs
  • cable modems
  • alternative weeklies
  • English Renaissance
  • "Somestupidshit NOW!" buttons
  • Saturday Night Live
  • oh-man-you-gotta-read-this-haw-haw-haw recycled joke email
  • David Carradine
  • influenza
  • Webgrrrls
  • European countries
  • Celtic-pattern tattoos
  • anti-smoking laws
  • promotional Web sites for crappy movies
  • mail modes for Emacs
  • TV networks
  • WinAmp skins

 

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

burton@pigdog.org


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