| Mr. Bad's List
-- Reported 1998-12-09 11:15 by Mr. Bad |
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This week's list: Bad People
- the Linux Cabal
- child molesters
- the guy who had the idea for "Lion King II"
- sand painters
- people who lie on their resume
- nitpickers
- Boba Fett
- white slavers
- people who gabber on about incessantly about their eBay stock
- Santa Claus
- all Geminis
- hypnotists
- bill collectors
- people from Chico
- buttpickers
- entrepeneurs
- liars
- backstabbers
- people who give you shitty Christmas presents
- Rick Moen
- landlords
- Nazis
- grappa drinkers
- people with megaphones
- name droppers
- left-handers
- people with company slogans in their .sig's
- newscasters
- complainers
- people who don't share their drugs
- people named "Wil"
- all Russians
- database administrators
- shortchangers
- absinthists
- DJs who play "The Hannukah Song"
- Stanford Business School grads
- quitters
- coprophiles
- S.u.S.E.
- cat buggerers
- anyone who ever worked for Oracle
- ASCII artists
- tea drinkers
- collaborators
- people who wear tank tops
- two-faced weasels
- Baha'is
- organ harvesters
- triathletes
- rumor-mongerers
- people who scratch their crotch while you're trying to talk to them
- Pacific Bell
- finger-pointers
- people who hit you for no reason
- mountain unicyclists
- people who don't return phone calls
- Goths
- bike messengers
- anyone who wears Polo shirts
- anyone who has a Geocities Web site
- slow bartenders
- speed freaks
- porn lords
- cheapskates
- Irish rock bands
- people who don't like Beaujolais
- German techno bands
- sellouts
- Japanese punk bands
- ventriloquists
- people who sniff underwear
- office managers
- people who shave their head
- freelancers for W I R E D
- pig mutilators
- Kim Rollins
- pagans
- people with henna tattoos
- frotteurs
- The Night Cabbie
- people with cable modems
- farters
- Ben and Nick
- people who have robot slaves
- Paul Guth
- Smalltalk programmers
- Italian hackerazzi
- serial cillers
- people who misspell "Pigdog"
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"Mr. Bad's List" is a column of
Pigdog Journal. All rights reserved. All wrongs reversed.
Don't be a twat and copy stuff that's not yours.
"Lists are funny." -- Tjames Madison
runcible@pigdog.org
Dead Man's Float
by Mr. Bad
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are
getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*,
cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for
a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze
cooler at affordable prices. (More...)
Light and Time and Bars
by Patient Joab
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect
of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by
sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
The Sedated Pirate
by JRoyale
Last week I had eye surgery and it was certainly one of the
least enjoyable episodes of my life. Eye Surgeons like
their patients to be conscious enough so that they can move
their eyes to the proper position during surgery. (More...)
Panic In Portland City
by Flesh
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this
hotel that my political party has rented out for the
evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for
whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in
Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the
places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling
that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
Hail the Acadian!
by Lenny Tuberose
The quest for knowledge never ends at the super top secret
Spock Mountain Laboratory, although it is frequently
interrupted by beverage breaks. Recently, a team of crack
ethnomixologists returned from a dangerous expedition to the
frozen expanse of Canada with the much sought recipe for a
Spocktail that is destined to replace blunt force head
trauma as the major cause of brain damage in the civilized
world. (More...)
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