Build Date: Sat Nov 8 07:50:13 2025 UTC
We don't set the bar very high on Pigdog as it tends to exclude the short people from getting drinks.
-- Johnnie Royale
Police Sent For Rollins' Ex
By El Destino
A police officer visited a Seattle-area hotel after Omni Development founder and president Wil Shipley paid an unexpected call on ex-girlfriend Kim Rollins. The policeman's visit culminated an ongoing series of humiliations for the Omni Group founder. After Rollins failed to answer a phone call from the hyperventilating Shipley, "I went to the hotel and knocked on her door," he confesses in an on-line essay, "praying that she'd be there and could hold me." http://www.omnigroup.com/People/wjs/Ouch/981118.html (Archived) Ms. Rollins was at the hotel -- and did, in fact, hold him. But Shipley remembers that "While I was there, my mom called" -- and then, "the cops showed up while I was talking to her...." Responding to an earlier phone call -- in which signs of hyperventilation were evident -- and unable to reach his cell phone, Shipley's mother had sent the police to the hotel. "Mom had said if I don't impress the cops with my rationality they might 'suggest' I go spend the night at Harborview," the Omni Development founder confides on-line -- a suggestion "Mom" later indicated would take the form of handcuffs. Shipley's software company occupies an elite niche. "They are NEXTSTEP -- now OPENSTEP/Rhapsody/Mac OS X -- specialists," remembers Pigdog Journal editor RatSnatcher. "Their web browser runs on NEXTSTEP; all of their software does." Omni's work has ultimately involved some of the industry's largest clients. "They did the port of FrameMaker to NEXTSTEP...." But now? "Still haven't paid the bills for Omni," Shipley writes. "For the last two days it's been the only thing on my plate, but I haven't been able to do it." http://www.omnigroup.com/People/wjs/Ouch/981119a.html (Archived) Pigdog's coverage of the ongoing psychic chaos has drawn mixed reviews. ("Go fuck yourself. This a godamn stupiod obsession with boring people," one reader commented -- in an apparent attempt to frame noted U.K. drunk "Johnny Royale.") Indeed, in a painfully confessional stream of essays seven since Tuesday -- Shipley mulls endlessly over the details of their nine-year relationship's break-up Sunday. "How many times can I tell her that I love her still, and will take her back, before she starts feeling like she has to defend her decision, and in doing so hurts me more?" "Ok, this last question isn't actually rhetorical -- I know the answer, because she reached that point yesterday." Shipley documents his ongoing meltdown -- vomiting at his friend Wolfe's house, vomiting in the Omni Group parking lot... "At about 9 a.m. I was so completely miserable the only thought that comforted me was, well, if this gets too tough I can always pull a Kurt Cobain. That actually made things more tolerable." "Somewhere in there I got sick and put my finger down my throat so I could get rid of the soup." Day Four of the very-public turmoil continues, leaving web-browsers watching in stunned silence. "I imagined there was this sphere made of polished metal, and it was hollow inside," Shipley wrote Wednesday. "If I could center it, with my mind, around my heart, it would act like a faraday cage, and keep my heart from sending out all the pain waves. I called it 'The Void'(TM)." "At this point I was finally starting to torture myself with images of him and her in bed, so I really needed anything." Shipley offers a thorough depiction of his ongoing unproductivity. "I've got a routine, now. Sleep fitfully all night. Call people until I can get out of bed. Struggle into work. Write this wretched journal. Become unbearably lonely. Go home. Try to find someone to talk with until bedtime...." And Kim Rollins? "She switched hotels, and wouldn't tell me the new number." http://www.omnigroup.com/People/wjs/Ouch/981119.html (Archived) |
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)