Build Date: Mon Jun 17 11:20:09 2024 UTC

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary.
-- H.L. Mencken

Wine Slurpies

by El Destino

2000-12-02 15:03:38

It's winter in Idaho, and Boise personality "Lego-Man" reports on how he celebrated Thanksgiving. "I fed my wife, mother and sister wine slurpies!"

The year 2000 vintage Beaujolais Nouveau has spread its glorious bounty to America's hinterland. Holiday cheer came to Boise in the form of a bottle which Lego-Man tells Pigdog Journal he "picked up at CostPlus for $7.99. Yummy." Following deceptively simple instructions, the green liquid led the family to warmth, joy, and inebriation -- and now Lego-man shares with Pigdog Journal his recipe for the preparation of this Idaho delicacy. "Bottle of wine. Lots of ice. Some brown sugar. Blender." And there's also one crucial final ingredient. "Crystal wine glasses."

For added authenticity, Lego-man adds a cryptic final instruction. "The slurpee has to have the little Dairy Queen 'q' as you pour."

In the hipper circles of Boise, the proper methodology for concocting this wine-based beverage has been the subject of much discussion. "I have been told to use confectioner's sugar," Lego-Man notes, "but I thought the brown gave it a better flavor..."

Wine slurpies? It staggers the imagination. Beaujolais, Boise. Beaujolais!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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