Wil Shipley has
renamed his journal to "Scab".
Its motto? "When a
wound starts to heal."
Positive signs are
scattered throughout Shipley's on-line essays.
Ms. Rollins's charges had
left Shipley with a painful dilemma: how to categorize it in
"Quicken". But a solution quickly presented itself.
"As it happens, she put it on the Quicken credit card, so it was
automatically entered for me." Shipley did, however, enter
information for the final cashier's check given to
"The memo was
Shipley pauses to reflect
on their relationship. ("I think, as I got crazier, she started
losing respect for me.") But Shipley's self-assurance is
returning. "I think I'm plenty good."
"On Zoloft, I'm even
better, but even not on Zoloft I'm still kind and concerned, I'm just
grumpy and edgy as well."
Zoloft remains a
recurring theme in Shipley's life -- and his on-line journal documents
the effects of his recent release from obsessive-compulsive behavior.
Shipley notes that "My driving has become completely crazy. I
drive at 80 m.p.h. on city streets. I weave in and out of traffic. I
burn out my tires all the time."
In earlier essays,
Shipley disparaged the previous lack of spontaneity in the
"non-drug-enhanced me." Now he characterizes spontaneity's
side effects. "Going the wrong way? No problem! Dead end? Pull a
y-turn! Back streets? Don't care. Totally lost?
In a later essay, Shipley
revisits the theme. "I'm not really worried about getting a
ticket. It's just a ticket. I'm not super-worried about wrecking up my
car. I have insurance. I'm not particularly worried about killing
myself. Ok, that one is a little strange."
Later, Shipley reveals
his nickname for his car: "Whiplash."
Shipley's returning sense
of humor may be another positive sign. One essay jokes that Shipley's
pile of dirty laundry is "now large enough to become the 51st
December, Shipley reported that he succeeded in sorting the pile.
"Did not get as far as putting one of the heaps in the machine,
but I felt just the sorting was pretty good progress."
Shipley soon found new
tactics. "I realized today that if I can just squeak by for 4
more days, I won't have to do laundry ever (Tuesday my laundress
comes). And, last night, true to my new optimism, I found a hidden
cache of extra underwear in a little-used drawer...." Shipley
also reports discovering a stash of unused socks. "Yes! I can
Now Shipley's optimism
knows no bounds. After a co-worker's wife served him home-made pasta
sauce, Shipley asked her to marry him. "[S]he pointed out she
was already married, and that she wouldn't want to marry someone who
only appreciated her cooking. I pointed out I thought she was hot, as
But at least getting up
at 2 p.m. has its advantages. "The sun is so beautiful. I've
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