I want to kill bugs, sir!




All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
-- Homer Simpson



Shipley's Doctor Prescribes More Pills

By El Destino
Pigdog Staff Writer

"I got a prescription for a bunch more pills."

In an essay titled "More Drugs," OmniGroup President and founder Wil Shipley reports enthusiastically on his struggle for mental health. "I'd push my own mother in front of a train to keep taking Zoloft," Shipley jokes.

Shipley's conversion to the chemical solution is complete. "I used to think that chemical happiness was 'fake', that I'd always feel like I cheated if I took drugs and became happy," Shipley philosophizes. "Now I feel like I was handed a raw deal -- a brain that chases its own tail and makes me nuts, and if I can take a drug to get it to stop doing that and relax, well, sign me up."

Shipley's mood was optomistic. "I'm looking better than I've looked in a long time, I'm not irritable or crazy any more, and I'm single. Look out, world."

Tuesday's on-line essay sheds new light on Shipley's recovery process after his nine-year relationship with net-celebrity Kim Rollins ended November 15. ("I've lost 13 pounds in two weeks. Depression rules!") The software company executive believes his doctor prescribed the medication only as a "quick-fix" for acute depression -- and "it's just a happy side-effect that it made me not crazy for the first time in ten years." Monday Shipley enumerated the benefits.

I'm not tense all the time.
I don't snap at people.
I'm not afraid to leave the house.
I don't get incredibly annoyed at every stupid thing everyone does.
I can sit through entire movies without having to use the bathroom.

Shipley finds a handy parallel. "I see now how people get addicted to cocaine."

But there's one corner of Shipley's mind medical treatment can't vanquish. "The final irony is every time I think of how much better I feel, I want to share it with her. She'd be proud of me."




Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.


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