Celebrity endorsement impersonated

     

 

 

Please leave my undergarments out of this discussion.
-- Daisy

 

 

"Sex Weekend", Says Rollins' Ex

By El Destino
Pigdog Staff Writer

500 regular visitors to Kim Rollins' on-line journal Tuesday found instead a link to an essay titled "Ouch" written by her ex-boyfriend Wil Shipley--the founder and president of Omni Development, Inc.

A series of pages ultimately led readers to a document posted at 12:37 Tuesday offering Shipley's version of their relationship's final days. "[S]he ran off to Portland for a sex weekend...." The bitter Omnigroup founder in fact uses the phrase "sex weekend" three times to describe Kim's meeting with the man for whom she ultimately abandoned her nine-year relationship in Seattle. Shipley reflects on Kim's preparations with irony. "I guess she felt too guilty to take the chocolate I gave her...."

It's not clear Rollins consented to the replacement essay. Shipley's company -- where Rollins had been employed -- was hosting her on-line journal, as well as the rest of her site (which remains in tact). Geeks looked on in morbid fascination -- since Shipley's company is considered by some an "elite special forces unit" of software implementation. Previously Shipley had even worked on the William Morris project for NeXT. ("Maybe it was the failure of NeXT in the mainstream market place that finally drove her to the brink," a Pigdog editor joked.)

For Kim Rollins fans, Shipley's essay at least provides details about Kim's new paramour. ("He's a successful software guy, just like me. He's going to support her, just like me.") But these details only baffle Kim's left-behind. "What, exactly, is different?"

Rollins had complained Shipley was holding her back in a life she didn't want. Now he ruminates on their final days. "I'd assure her that I very much want to marry her, and would do it tomorrow in a courthouse if she wanted, and she'd say, 'let's not worry about it now.' I reminded her how she had always said she didn't want to be one of those people who was permanently engaged without any real plans to get married, and said we should either set a date or not be engaged.

"She didn't say anything. I was such an idiot...."

The essay forms part of a new journal Shipley plans to write documenting his very-public post-breakup recuperation. This first entry stresses it's not being written for the audience of former Kim Rollins fans -- and its title hints at bias. ("November 15, 1998 - she admits a big lie and some smaller ones.") But Shipley promises that should Kim return on-line and resume her journal, he'll link to its new location.

In the meantime, Kim Rollins' final journal entry has been archived at

http://www.pigdog.org/kimlast.htm

Shipley ultimately recounts their break-up conversation. " 'Where do you think I should go?' " she asked. I realized that I was through taking care of her, I was through trying to do helpful things. 'I guess that's not really my problem,' I said, in a kind of inverse-and-more-polite Rhett Butler imitation."

He also cried copiously.

In a second essay posted Tuesday, 85 minutes after the first one, Shipley reveals he's being treated for depression by the same doctor who treated Kim Rollins -- and recounted their morbid conversation about the side effects of Zoloft. "Well, he said, there's a 90% chance I won't have anorgasmia. This kind of glass-half-fullism is all well and good, but I doubt he'd be so Pollyanna if I were playing Russian Roulette with his dick."

The status of Shipley's relationship with Kim? "Yesterday I asked if she'd consider coming back if things don't work out, and she said yes..." In the meantime, he offers readers the wisdom he's gleaned from his recovery process so far.

http://www.omnigroup.com/People/wjs/Ouch/981117.html (Archived)

"Next time I have a girlfriend, I'll know how to find out if she's cheating on me -- I'll just give her chocolates every day."

 

 

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

jared@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

T O P   S T O R I E S

Fixer-Upper
by Lenny Tuberose

Top Ten Reasons Morrissey Canceled a Show
by Baron Earl

Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
by Thom 'Starky' Stark, Lenny Tuberose, 'Tricky' Rick Moen, Destino

The One Trump Conspiracy That Will Explain Everything
by El Destino

12-04

El Destino

What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

05-03

Baron Earl

When will the abuse of airline passengers stop?

05-03

El Destino

Hillbilly miner turned coder wants to make Kentucky into "Silicon Holler"

03-31

El Destino

86-year-old William Shatner cast in a new romantic comedy: 'Senior Moment'

03-19

El Destino

New ransomware taunts its victims with ASCII art of Spock and Kirk

01-26

Flesh

Alex Jones is Big, Fat, And Drunk in Public.

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

04-06

El Destino

George Takei demonstrates why he should be playing Spider-Man

04-01

El Destino

High school students sacrifice chickens to improve their batting average

More Quickies...