| I luv Barcelona almost as much as I love beer. -- Negative Nancy |
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Ever wonder how your favorite (or least favorite) PDJ editor is
gonna vote come this Nov 7th. Well, we'll tell ya.
Don't like what you see... send us feedback
and tell us your beef.
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PDJ
Staffer
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Voting
For
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and
Why |
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JRoyale
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Nader
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It is time to Reform the American system of leadership. Corporations,
with their deep pockets, have bought control of both Congress
and the White House. Both G. Dubbya Idiot Bush, and Al, the
Bore Gore have been bought so many times over by the multinationals
corporations, it stopped being funny, or even newsworthy.
But it is still wrong. And still very EVIL.
This is suppose to be Government, Of the People, By the People
and For the People - Not Government Of GM, by Chevron, for
Microsoft.
Make your voice heard and say NO MORE CORPORATE GOVERNMENT.
Vote Nader and let the chips fall where they may.
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Mr.
Bad
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Nader
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Nobody
should have a job as powerful as President of the United States.
But if there's anyone who gets close to having the decency
and integrity to wield that power, it's Ralph Nader. When
the major party candidates are talking about how better to
give away money to corporations and the super-rich, Nader's
talking about making America a better place for every single
person. Nader wants to change the global power structure.
Beaujolais for Nader!
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Compulsive
Splicer
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Nader
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We
have a choice between a republican who grew up in a pro-choice
household (Daddy Bush voted pro-choice until becoming Reagan's
VP. Then as Prez he "accidentally" nominated a pro-choice
juctice to the Supreme Court) or a democrat who has a pro-life
voting record? Bizarre. Bush is running on an "education"
platform yet can't be bothered to speak proper English ("we
is"?) when debating in front of millions of TV viewers. Gore's
book details automobile exhaust and deforestation destroying
our environment yet Gore continues to sell out national forests
to folks to clearcut. Why bother voting for someone with whom
you agree when you can't trust them to represent those views?
I agree with what Ralph Nader stands for, but this year it
seems like icing on the cake. What's important is that he
can be trusted.
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Miles
Standish
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Browne
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Yes,
the Republicans and Democrats are money machines, plutocratic
conspiracies and big stompy monsters. Yes, both of them back
all kinds of privacy-invading, bloodthirist, fag-bashing, vote-selling
stompinesses. Third-party is pretty much the only way to vote
without needing a long shower afterwards. If you have political
opinions, neither Bush nor Gore really are the people to vote
for. If you don't have political opinions, I will personally
break down your door and curbstomp you. If someone votes for
a party besides Republican and Democrat, they're working to
end the stranglehold and I'm happy, even if they vote for a
goatfucker like Buchanan. Personally, I'm voting Libertarian.
Government is big and heavy and growing more powerful every
day, like some sort of 50's science fiction monster. Kill it!
Cut off its head and roast it in the streets! The government
cannot ever be a force for good. No matter how much they smile
and offer candy, do not talk to them and do not make eye contact.
The less government, the more social and economic freedom. And
isn't that what Christmas is all about, after all? |
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CrackMonkey
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Diefenbaker
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I
for one am voting for The Right Honourable John George Diefenbaker.
He's led government to greatness in the past, and he's served
in the military to boot. He's had a strong stance on the rights
of native peoples, and he has a good record for female and aboriginal
appointees. He also took strong action on health rights. That's
why my vote goes to the Progressive Conservative party! |
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Flesh
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Nader
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Having
Gore & Bush as choices is like having to choose between Satan
& Lucifer is somthing I've said for quite a while. But in
this case, the comparison is not accurate enough. These two
are actually Romulas & Remus. Both are the unholy offspring
of some whore-mother who left her terrible bastard twin sons
of some drunken Canadian baby seal hunters in the wild to
be raised by a three-legged coyote (whom they ate after they
slowly bashed her brains in with a rock).
Continuing
with our Roman analogy, we come to Harry Browne, who is best
compared to Tiberius. If elected, Harry would bring back blood
games in which anyone making less than $10,000 a year would
have to fight for their lives. Private armies of mercenaries
hired out to protect people from having their throats slit
on the streets would be the fastest growing business.
Pat Buchanan
is best compared to either Nero or Caligula, but without the
fun sides. Pat is the man who George Orwell pictured as being
Big Brother when he penned 1984. And while it's been said
many times before (Mostly because it's true), the only people
who would vote for him are the same people who think Hitler
was too liberal.
Then there's
Ralph Nader. The man leading the charge of the barbarians
to the gates. I count myself as one of those unwashed masses
looking forward to hanging those responsible for the state
we're in by their hamstrings from the nearest freeway light.
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Baron
Earl
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Evil
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We do
not live in a proportional democracy, we live in a winner-take-all
democracy. The candidate who gets the most votes gets to represent
ALL of the people, not just the portion that voted to elect
him. In a proportional democracy, I could vote for a Harry
Browne or a Ralph Nader, and know that if 6% of the people
voted for the same ticket we could have 6% of the power of
Congress, we could make 6% of the decisions, we could make
6% of the mistakes, and we could be responsible for 6% of
the good that government sometimes achieves.
But I
do not live in a country like that. In the country I live
in, the person who gets the majority of the votes cast gets
elected. This is why I usually end up voting for Evil. I try
to vote for the lesser of the two evils that are presented
as choices by the two major parties, because I don't want
the bigger Evil to win. I know that if I vote for a minor
candidate, that might help the more evil candidate win the
election.
I vote
for the lesser of two evils. I vote for Evil.
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Tjames
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Biafra
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I'm
voting for Jello Biafra, seminal punk rock singer and semi-annoying
self-righteous monologuist. Sure, he's not on the ballot, but
neither is my second choice, loveable comic dog Howard Huge.
I'll vote for Jello anyway, even though the vote probably won't
even get counted, mainly because I think if the situation were
reversed, Jello would vote for _me_, but also because whatever
else you can find to say about Jello, no one can deny that the
man has always had a talent for sniffing out the festering shit-speck
from the bottom of the pile of glittering political poop posing
as diamonds. Take Diane "Banker Butt-Licker" Feinstein, for
instance. Biafra nailed this bint almost two decades ago, way
before Our Miss Diane waved her brightly colored buttocks in
the direction of the Senate, and years before the gnomish Feinstein
did her Dance of the Seven Veils before a bamboozled liberal
constituency that snorted down her act like a line of pharmaceutical
grade cocaine and hen went out and voted for her again and again
and again. Never mind that she's still doing the dance nowadays,
talking like a tough, straight-from-the-hip liberal while voting
and enacting like a Goldwater Republican, toeing the line of
the Moderate Sturmabteilung who now appear to rule all or most
points on the contemporary political schema. That Biafra sussed
this out 20 years ago _just from the smell of her_ is proof
enough that the man comes complete with the most accurate bullshit
detector in existence today, which is why he gets my vote, and
also because he proposes in his platform, among other things,
to "Fight gentrification by allowing those under siege to spray
whipped cream on those who flaunt their upwardly mobile invader
status until the interlopers leave town." |
Totals
*Write in candidate.
Alleged Canadian, deceased
lurid@pigdog.org
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