Ink to the BLOT to the MAGA to the ZINE!

     
 

Grape-Ass Motherpucker
1999-11-08 16:36:41


Spocktail of the Week
 
Use your words people. Use your words, cause they're all you have.
-- Miss Conduct

 

Yet another delicious SPOCKTAIL from the SMRL Beverage Science Labs! Check under the cap for your chance to win thousands of fabulous prizes!

The great things about the Grape-Ass Motherpucker are manifold. First, it's got a very cool name, if I do say so myself. Second, it's made with DeKuyper's crazy-ass schnapps beverage called Grape Pucker (TM), which is the INCREDIBLY WEIRD LIQUEUR. It looks and tastes like something that high-security prisoners smuggle out of the prison cafeteria and ferment in pots under their bed. It's INSANE STUFF. I love it! Thirdly, it's all sparkly and makes your nose tickle. Hee hee!

I first had a Grape-Ass Motherpucker with Taipan Enigma in his stately chinoiserie-laden temple high in the hills of Northern California. This top-secret compound, shaded by redwoods and encrusted with gilt dragons and blue jade tile, is a spiritual retreat for Culture Warriors to recharge their batteries before returning to the fray. T. Enigma often has his bodyguard Babu mix up a tray of Grape-Ass Motherpuckers for his guests to enjoy in the Cactus Garden. There they can quietly sip their drinks and contemplate the volcanic mists collecting around the head of the nearby extinct Mount Diablo, or meditate on the screeching cretinous mandrills that swing from tree to tree in the live oaks down the hill, or loudly chant the Lotus Sutra in Esperanto with the cybernetically-enhanced gargoyle monks in residence at the site.

I wish you pleasure in your Grape-Ass Motherpucker! May the peace of the Temple of the Screaming Electron always be in your heart!

Grape-Ass Motherpucker

Ingredients

  • 2 oz. DeKuyper Grape Pucker (TM) schnapps
  • 4 oz. brut champagne
  • 1 small chip dry ice

Directions

Mix schnapps and champagne in chilled champagne flutes. Drop in dry ice. Serve immediately.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

vwbugger@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

T O P   S T O R I E S

What the hell is going on with Sony?
by Andrew A. Gill

UK Ministry of Defense redacts classified info by changing background color to black
by Baron Earl

Meat Cocktails
by Baron Earl

San Francisco Uber Alles
by Baron Earl

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

04-06

El Destino

George Takei demonstrates why he should be playing Spider-Man

04-01

El Destino

High school students sacrifice chickens to improve their batting average

03-31

Baron Earl

Creating a wall-hangable computer from an Ikea shadow box frame

03-26

Eugene Leitl

Spock + octopus

03-26

Baron Earl

Justice Department sends borrower to jail, declines to prosecute Countrywide CEO

03-26

Baron Earl

BBC News covers SXSW Dorkbot

03-24

Baron Earl

How to Identify a Chupacabra

03-21

JRoyale

My Fucking Job is Unbelievable

03-20

Baron Earl

Absinthe documentary

03-20

Baron Earl

UFO over Oswego

03-20

Baron Earl

Stone-washed cyclocomputer

03-15

JRoyale

Can She Taste the Roofies?

03-13

JRoyale

Pizza Delivery Instructions

More Quickies...