CONGRATULATIONS! WELCOME TO UNAMERICA!

     
 

Wine Spockiodi
1999-08-25 21:24:24


Spocktail of the Week
 
Zach is happy and Zach doesn't worry about Alabama schoolgirls. That is because Zach has a secret - he drinks a lot and never leaves the house.
-- Johnnie Royale

 

This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH!

Wine Spockiodi ("SPAH-kee-OH-dee") is an improvement on the old wino/hipster drink, wine spodi-odi, from the jazzbo beatnik days. Jack Kerouac and Charlie Parker used to go drink this stuff in bad juke joints on the outskirts of East St. Louis and then wake up in Seattle a few weeks later with unexplained surgical scars on their abdomens.

The magic of this drink is that it mixes two of the most horrendous liquids known to man -- cheap wine and cheap whiskey -- with a few crazy spices and a bit of Spockish magic to make for a SPECTACULAR SPOCKTAIL that will leave your houseguests begging for more.

I first had Wine Spockiodi with an old friend of mine from the Netherlands, GEERT VAN GROENIG. He's a bad Dutch Amiga hacker with an adam's apple and thin rimless glasses who spent most of his time on his last visit to San Francisco downloading techno MODs through my DSL line onto Syquest drives to take back to Rotterdam with him. Whenever he stays with me, I find bestiality porn mags underneath the furniture in every room for months to come. Stuck between the unpleasant pages of "The Horse Lovers' Journal" I found a recipe for Wine Spockiodi printed out on a dot matrix printer in 24-pt script font. It's that recipe I share with you now.

Ingredients

  • 4 oz cheap red wine (can be Burgundy, I prefer Beaujolais Nouveau)
  • 2 oz cheap Kentucky whiskey
  • a pinch of allspice
  • 1 oz brewed ma huang

Brew ma huang (ephedra, mormon tea, Indian tea) real strong. Let cool for 24 hours. Mix wine and whiskey and ma huang in a large glass. Sprinkle VERY LIGHTLY the allspice over the top of the glass -- you're looking for a "floating" effect. Drink ONLY with close friends, and WRITE YOUR NAME on your ARM with indelible marker before leaving the house.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

quintuplet@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

T O P   S T O R I E S

Eavesdropping on Geeks: Music to Protest By
by Flesh, Master Squid, Baron Earl, El Destino

Pigdog Journal Annual Christmas Essay Contest RUNNER UP ESSAY
by Lenny Tuberose

Fear and Loathing on Planet Arkuat
by Arkuat

Fixer-Upper
by Lenny Tuberose

12-28

El Destino

A musical reminder: Don't Say GIF

12-22

El Destino

Devo's one and only Christmas song

12-04

El Destino

What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

05-03

Baron Earl

When will the abuse of airline passengers stop?

05-03

El Destino

Hillbilly miner turned coder wants to make Kentucky into "Silicon Holler"

03-31

El Destino

86-year-old William Shatner cast in a new romantic comedy: 'Senior Moment'

03-19

El Destino

New ransomware taunts its victims with ASCII art of Spock and Kirk

01-26

Flesh

Alex Jones is Big, Fat, And Drunk in Public.

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

More Quickies...