Build Date: Sun Jun 15 15:05:37 2025 UTC
Walt Disney was profoundly EVIL.
-- Tjames Madison
Wine Spockiodi
1999-08-25 21:24:24
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH!
Wine Spockiodi ("SPAH-kee-OH-dee") is an improvement on the old wino/hipster drink, wine spodi-odi, from the jazzbo beatnik days. Jack Kerouac and Charlie Parker used to go drink this stuff in bad juke joints on the outskirts of East St. Louis and then wake up in Seattle a few weeks later with unexplained surgical scars on their abdomens.
The magic of this drink is that it mixes two of the most horrendous liquids known to man -- cheap wine and cheap whiskey -- with a few crazy spices and a bit of Spockish magic to make for a SPECTACULAR SPOCKTAIL that will leave your houseguests begging for more.
I first had Wine Spockiodi with an old friend of mine from the Netherlands, GEERT VAN GROENIG. He's a bad Dutch Amiga hacker with an adam's apple and thin rimless glasses who spent most of his time on his last visit to San Francisco downloading techno MODs through my DSL line onto Syquest drives to take back to Rotterdam with him. Whenever he stays with me, I find bestiality porn mags underneath the furniture in every room for months to come. Stuck between the unpleasant pages of "The Horse Lovers' Journal" I found a recipe for Wine Spockiodi printed out on a dot matrix printer in 24-pt script font. It's that recipe I share with you now.
Ingredients
- 4 oz cheap red wine (can be Burgundy, I prefer Beaujolais Nouveau)
- 2 oz cheap Kentucky whiskey
- a pinch of allspice
- 1 oz brewed ma huang
Brew ma huang (ephedra, mormon tea, Indian tea) real strong. Let cool for 24 hours. Mix wine and whiskey and ma huang in a large glass. Sprinkle VERY LIGHTLY the allspice over the top of the glass -- you're looking for a "floating" effect. Drink ONLY with close friends, and WRITE YOUR NAME on your ARM with indelible marker before leaving the house.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
Raving over 30 doesn't have to be embarassing anymore. (More...)
It was Friday night at the Casa de Baron and everything was in place -- a group of friends had assembled, people were setting things on fire in the backyard, and a Ferry Corsten double-live CD was playing on the stereo. Everything was in place to make further scientific advances in beverage research and leisure technology. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
