Build Date: Wed Nov 26 02:30:16 2025 UTC
The Library of Short Russian Novels is the smallest library ever.
-- Master Squid
Get One of Ours Onto the Patent Committee
2000-04-26 17:46:05
Stupid software patents! Gar gar gar! Aren't you sick of the bullshit!? I know I am. So let's get one of OUR SIDE onto the government's Patent Advisory Committee.
Hey, freedom-loving citizen! While you sleep, software patents are stomping all over your freedom to write, use, and share software. Companies that hold patents are crunching down on Free Software and end-user usage of common Internet file formats like MP3 and GIF. Not to mention the heinous misuse of software patents by Web companies like Amazon to stifle competition and prevent innovation. Gar gar gar!
Even though there's been lots of clamor, the Patent Office has been pretty much deaf to the cries of freedom-lovers everywhere. Enough! I say. It's time we got one of our own into the thick of things.
It turns out that there's a Patent Advisory Committee at the USPTO. The nominations are open to the public, which means with a little organizing we could get someone friendly to the cause into one of the seats. IMAGINE THAT! A man (or woman) on the inside, sitting at the meetings where patent decisions are made. We have a chance to appoint a Freedom Fighter to the federal Star Chamber, and stop the hemorraghing of software patents into the world! Beaujolais!
The link below is to a document specifying how to nominate someone for the job. I dunno about you, but a simple EMAIL seems like a particularly easy way to do it. All you have to do is send email to nicholas.flagler@uspto.gov with the following information:
- Name of the nominee
- Brief description of their qualifications
- Resume (URL or text)
That's it! Two minutes! There are any number of people who would be good for the job; some folks who have been particularly vocal about software patents and freedom include the following:
- Richard Stallman, head of the GNU project and the League for Programming Freedom His home page is here.
- Eric Raymond, the Open Source guy. His resume is here.
- Tim O'Reilly, big kahuna at O'Reilly and Associates who recently had a big ol' dialog with Jeff Bezos about the Amazon patent. His bio is here.
- Don Marti, king of Burn All Gifs and patent agitator extraordinaire. His resume is here.
If you're a friend of freedom, you NEED to take this opportunity to nominate freedom-friendly people to the Patent Advisory Committee. You need to act NOW, though, because nominations close on Friday, 4/28/2000. That's this FRIDAY! So go there, spend a couple of minutes composing an email, and strike a blow for Freedom!
Up the Jihad!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Yet another delicious SPOCKTAIL from the SMRL Beverage Science Labs! Check under the cap for your chance to win thousands of fabulous prizes! (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill! (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
Alright kids, this is the column where you write in with the lurid details of your personal lives, and I put them on the Internet for everyone to snicker at. But also, I give you a free Tarot reading, so there's that. (More...)
Put the "Life" Back in SF "Nightlife"
The Man is putting the hurting on San Francisco clubs, but some people are fighting back. Beajolais! Flesh interviews Leslie Ayers of the San Francisco Late Night Coalition. (More...)
