Build Date: Sat Apr 18 03:40:06 2026 UTC
Football is like fishing. Drinking by another name.
-- P a u l
While We're At It, Burn All MP3s, Too
1999-09-20 00:29:13
So, I've been real interested in this Burn All GIFs Day thing coming up in October (ssh! that date is still secret! -- check out burnallgifs.org for more details). But I gots to say that I really hate the bullshite that's happening around MP3s, too. So, gar.
See, here's the deal: phenomenally popular little format, the MP3 doohickey. INCREDIBLE sound file compression combined with recent advances in consumer Internet bandwidth have made it possible for all of us to share lots of music and play it and see crazy acid dream shit visuals while you do so. Which is just really cool.
EXCEPT, you see, EXCEPT that after the MP3 format got all popular and there were a ton of compressors and players and trippy acid freak fest visualization programs, AFTER all that these folks at Fraunhofer IIS and the really scary anti-competitive Thomson Multimedia Corp started to get all HEAVY about a PATENT they hold on some of the compression technology that makes MP3 work.
FUCKING FUCK! More PATENTS! Gar! Just like with GIFS! I hate fucking software patents! Gar! Gar gar gar! They mean that real good software that does things that are real useful gets STIFLED and STRANGLED by morons in business suits and twerpy GERMAN LAWYERS who look like DIETER. Gar! It's just WRONG! MP3 is supposed to be an open standard! Gar! One more fucking SLAP IN THE FACE all COMPUTER USERS EVERYWHERE.
Anyways, as with PNG vs. GIF, it looks like it's up to the Free Software community and some good old anarchist organizing to get everyone else some free fucking software and a REALLY open standard. [Patented standards. Oh, MAN.] As best I can tell, there are two projects going on right now to get a high-quality audio compression format out there for all of us to use instead of MP3.
The first is Free Expression, which is linked from the GNU Project Web site and looks like a big idea and not a lot of action right now. The OTHER is at a high level of code completion. It's called Ogg Vorbis and it's linked at the bottom of this article.
Ogg Vorbis has a library available (libvorbis) and stubs for a command line player. It's still in the development stage, but there's a lot of work being done and a lot of momentum. The main developer is the same guy who did CDDA Paranoia, a cool CD ripper, so you know he knows what he's talking about.
Anyways, check out Ogg Vorbis, and if you can code, maybe actually CHECKOUT (with CVS) the current state of the code. This stuff needs some work. We need to get out from under the thumb of patent-holding pricks. So, bust a move and check it out yourself.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
