Build Date: Wed May 21 08:01:56 2025 UTC
I have enough hard alcohol in the house right now to get 5th SS Panzer Division tanked or the entire Senate (including those young cute female pages that Strom and Kennedy like) ripped. But I guess I can always use some more.
-- Johnnie Royale
Interview with Solex -- Reported 1999-03-22 21:21 by Mr. Bad | |||||||||
SOLEX VS THE PIGDOG
Argh. I'm tired. We've had this goddamned interview sitting around for MONTHS and it hasn't gone out because I'm such a lazy fuck that I can't write a goddamned intro. And without the intro, the thing doesn't make ANY SENSE whatsoever. None. I mean, it's a goddamned COMIC STRIP INTERVIEW. How's anybody gonna even GROK that? Splice Doggy Dog put a whole lot of work into this. But he's been crawling up my ass about writing an intro for so long that I can't stand to be in the same room with him any more. So I give in. Here's the goods. Solexocity. If you don't know it yet, you're gonna know soon: Solex is the MAN. Her given name is Elisabeth Esselink, but she goes by Solex, a name she borrowed from a motorscooter company by way of her cat. She does really cool music. REALLY cool. I call it techno, she calls it "Happy Music for Happy People." I don't care: it's good. Best factoid of all: she's DUTCH. In other words, she's BAD PEOPLE -- just our type.
I've already chronicled how I first found out about coolio Solex in my review of her fabu first album, "Solex vs. The Hitmeister." Since then, Solex has been reviewed, interviewed and profiled in a variety of online and offline pubs, like SPIN and Rolling Stone and other nancyboy mainstream mags. But it hasn't really seemed to affect her performance; she's still got that underground feel. A few months after that review, I was going over our web logs when I realized that we were getting a lot of hits from a Solex fan site in Holland. I checked it out and sent them mail saying they had our link a little mucked up. I was surprised to get mail back from SOLEX HERSELF. It turns out that Solex runs her own fan site, complete with links to her business, a music store in Amsterdam called "de C&D." So, I did some figuring and then came to a quick conclusion: I had to kiss major Dutch ass to convince her to do an interview. And it worked! We did some arguing about how to do it (telephone? fly to Amsterdam? email?) and settled on the old tried and true: ICQ. OK, it's a crazy-ass idea, but we managed. We had some mishaps getting our schedule together and meeting on line. OK, so, most of the mishaps happened on my side. Remember that she's in HOLLAND ferchrissakes, which is if you don't know IN THE FUTURE. SO it was hard making a time when we could meet. And since the best time to meet was, like, 3AM, I kept scheduling interviews and then (thinking I had to stay up all night anyways) going out and getting sicko crazy drunk at creepy Mission bars and, despite having interesting adventures, usually not ending up anywhere near a computer when oh-three-hundred eventually rolled around. I realized after a couple such incidents that I better get on the ball and make this interview or we weren't gonna have any Solex at all. So our story begins in the middle of the fucking night back a while ago. I've limited myself to ONE BEER and snuck into work to keep myself from drinking more and passing out again. The award-winning Pigdog Eyewitness Interview team (me, Snatcher, and Splicer) has convened on ICQ to await Solex. It turns out that she took a while getting on. But that's OK: we're professionals. -- Mister Bad |
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
Experimenter is a film released in 2015 starring Peter Sarsgaard. It tells the story of Dr. Stanley Milgram's life, including the infamous Milgram electric shock experiment, tests on crowds, and his work developing a theory on the mechanics of social networks. It currently streams on Netflix. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)