Hey hey hey! It's almost April 1, which means only one thing
in this big crazy town: The Saint Stupid's Parade! Beaujolais
for crazy stupid people!
Here's the dealy-do: there's this big crazy pseudo-church in San Francisco
called "The First Church of the Last Laugh," run by this total WACKBALL called
"Bishop Joey" (get it?). They don't do much of anything during most of the year,
but on April First they have a gigantic spontaneous parade of FREAKS and WEIRDOS
walking through the streets of San Francisco and acting like complete DORKS.
The Saint Stupid's Day Parade (as it's called) has been going on for some small
integral number of years. The whole thing is a celebration of HUMAN STUPIDITY in
all its multifarious and ingenious forms. Not just FUN and GOOFY stupidity,
because there's plenty of that, but also VENAL and EVIL stupidity, BLOCKISH and
DULL stupidity, VAPID and CLANDESTINE stupidity, etc. etc.
So anyways there's this giganto-parade of human stupidity, with loud and boorish
actions as well as music and nudity and freakishness. You have to realize that
the FCLL is mostly made up of the kind of people who are attracted to joke
religions in the first place. I mean, these folks are complete QUEERBALLS the
other 364.251 days of the year, so you can imagine what they look like when they
actually try to give it a go and look EXTRA-FREAKY for this one special holiday.
I highly recommend that if you're in God's Favorite City on Saturday 4/1, you go
to the Big Pointy Building and celebrate your own and everyone else's totally
wigged out insane shithouse-crazy life. According to the FCLL, you're a part of
the Human Parade of Stupidity whether you attend or not, whether you walk down
the street or stand on the sidewalk gawking. So if you're going to be stupid,
why not do it the fun way? Go put on your FREAK FLAG clothes, stick a couple of
chopsticks in your ears, paint a big PANDA BEAR on your beer belly and tromp
down the avenue with the rest of the dipsticks. Beaujolais for the Stupid
Parade!
