Build Date: Fri Jun 13 09:10:06 2025 UTC
For too long our culture has said, "If it feels good, do it." Now America is embracing a new ethic and a new creed: "Let's roll." Let's roll a big fat joint America, and SMOKE IT.
-- President George W. Bush
Used Condom In McDonald's Chicken Bun
1998-12-10 05:52:00
It's happened AGAIN... A disgusting foreign object has been found in a value meal. As if McDonald's food wasn't blecherous enough to begin with, a Wisconsin woman recently bit into a McDonald's Chicken Bun sandwich, and almost choked to death on a used condom!
We keep hearing about people finding things in McDonald's fat-laden, fast food products. At least a half-dozen times a year we hear about someone finding a rat claw, bloody Band-Aid, or a screw, etc., in his or her Big Mac, Fish Bun, or whatever. The victims sue for justice, but invariably, once the lawyers zoom in, it turns out that the whole story is a HOAX. This happens EVERY SINGLE TIME. But are all of these people lying? What are the odds!?
SORTA-RELATED-ANECDOTE: One time, in Dayton Ohio, I chomped down on a RUSTY SCREW hidden in a sandwich from Rax Roast Beef. One of their meat-blasting machines must have been loosing pieces or something. When I complained, not only did they NOT replace my sandwich, but they accused ME of being in a conspiracy to defraud them. I should have SUED THOSE BASTARDS!
But would I have had any chance against a mega-corporation fast food chain? Considering that a smart person knows better than to directly go up against these types of wretched corporate mega-scums, how many incidents like this go UNREPORTED? Once can only wonder...
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
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The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
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Yet another delicious SPOCKTAIL from the SMRL Beverage Science Labs! Check under the cap for your chance to win thousands of fabulous prizes! (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
It was New Year's Eve and I wanted a signature drink I could hand to my guests. Something that they would accept with no fuss, drink quickly, and then want another. A drink simple enough that I could explain the recipe quickly -- thereby annointing each new guest as a bartender capable of making the drink -- and freeing me to enjoy myself. So I created The MAN-tini... (More...)
