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Nobody runs any real applications anyway. The whole purpose of personal computing is to tinker with shit. Everybody else (who isn't tinkering) is only using their Pentium Professionals as glorified typewriters. Applications, ha ha ha.
-- Ratsnatcher
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Otters! The latest in a string of bizarre and unexplained
attacks rocks humankind. From Florida to Romania, one word
is striking terror in the hearts of humans everywhere.
Otters! Otters!
Dateline: Romania. An innocent fisherman in a sleepy hamlet hauls in a fish.
The otters attack. The crafty mammal sneaks up on its prey, then sinks its
otter teeth into his fleshy Romanian buttocks. Though the catch
represented the biggest fish the fisherman had ever seen, the otter sprang its
aquatic companion from the human captor, in an apparent them-versus-us show of
solidarity.
It's a troubling development, conjuring nightmarish images: armies of otters rampaging
through our wildlands, like some horrible campfire ghost story come true. It
resonates on a primitive level, a surreal and haunting message about the
inherent futility of man's aspirations. You hope, you dream, you plan for the
future -- and then an otter bites you in the ass. You're realizing your
pathetic small-town glory of lifting the largest fish you've even seen in your
life from the local lake -- and then an otter bites you in the ass.
Pigdog's ongoing
reporting of animal rampages has uncovered the disturbing pattern.
(Otters!) From squirrels to
skunks, seals to sqrats, the
crazed animal uprisings in an undeclared guerilla war may now be signalling an
escalation. "
Crazed otter drowns fluffy dog" was only the beginning.
It all buttresses something Pigdog's editors concluded long
ago. "The dirty little secret of the Animal Kingdom is that ALL ANIMALS
HATE US.
"Even the cute ones. So watch your back!"
Check it out yourself
radon@pigdog.org
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