Build Date: Tue Apr 23 16:50:08 2024 UTC

I'm really pissed at NASA.... I'm also really drunk.
-- Johnnie Royale


by Mr. Bad

2000-03-31 17:43:01

Boo-zho-lay for you, Pigdog reader! Another fine Spocktail of the week is available for you. And this week's offering is EXTRA special and fancy, since it celebrates the birthday of Pigdog's own STAR TWINS!

Our newest Spocktail is a drink that evinces class, style, and sophistication in a delicious medley of flavors and colors. The delectable creation celebrates Pigdog's own STAR TWINS, the mystical dynamic duo of Ms. Bunnypenny and the Mysterious M.L.E.. Chosen from BIRTH to walk the same Path of Fate, the Star Twins are kind of a combination of Starsky and Hutch meet Audrey Hepburn, Julie Newmar meets Kung-Fu Grip GI Joe, Princess Grace in a bloody battle with the Dirty Dozen.

The STAR TWIN SPECTACULAR was created as an homage to the pair by gourmet chef Paolo Giorgio at his world-famous restaurant Sellarre in the Old Town section of Nice. Giorgio had been having financial troubles stemming from an over-fondness for bear-fight gambling and a poor ability to judge potential victors. When he complained bitterly to the Star Twins at a yacht party in Lexington KY during Derby Week, they offered to perform their rarely-seen piano torchsinger duet in his restaurant to raise capital.

At a $10,000/plate dinner in Sellare later that month attended by among others the King of Jordan, Dennis Hopper and Ilona "Ciccolina" Staller, the guests were held spellbound at the sight of Ms. B. and MLE in full-length sequined gowns belting out show tunes and performing acts of acrobatics seldom seen outside of the Chinese circus. As a finale, Bunny ground Princess Caroline of Monaco's $30,000 black pearl necklace into a fine powder and drank it from a gallon jug of Giorgio's newly-invented cocktail.

As the applause rang out, Giorgio christened the drink as the "Star Twin Spectacular" and fell to his knees in gratitude for saving his business and his life. The Star Twins, of course, ruffled his hair and sauntered off for the midnight diving on the Cote.

Black pearls are hard to come by, so enjoy this recipe for the slightly-amended Star Twin Spectacular in the comfort of your own home. Raise a glass for them tonight, because elegance and adventure are only a spocktail away!

Star Twin Spectacular


  • 4 oz. High-quality shom-pan-yah
  • 1 oz. Tangerine juice
  • 1/2 oz. Ketel One vodka


Chill shom-pan-yah to the perfect 42 degrees. Do not use cheap-o skullcrack shom-pan-yah! A Star Twin can detect deception and will kill you instantly. Pour into fluted glass. Add tangerine juice and vodka. Serve immediately with powdered stimulant.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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