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Seattle Heart-Breaker Seeks Single Male...
2001-08-19 05:21:36


The Rollins-Shipley Crisis
 
The only questions worth asking today are whether humans are going to have any emotions tomorrow, and what the quality of life will be if the answer is no.
-- Lester Bangs

 

Is Kim Rollins playing the personals? "She's got an ad up at the Salon/Nerve personals," one Washington-based Pigdog reader claims.

Sure enough, the address provided by The Kim Rollins paparazzi leads to a romance-seeking Salon personal ad -- and it correctly identifies Kim's birthday. (She turned 32 Saturday!) If it is Seattle's favorite heart-breaking web diarist, she's now grappling with some long Seattle nights. In the ad, all four categories have been selected -- dating, serious relationship, friendship, and "play."

Er, play? "Select play if you're looking for some 'adult' fun," Salon explains.

Refusing to provide "your most humbling moment," the romance-seeker nonetheless exhibits a familiar self-deprecating wit -- e.g., when answering Salon's boiler-plate question, "The Celebrity I Resemble Most." "If I tell you that people have told me I look like Nicole Kidman and you meet me, and you don't think so, I come off looking like a narcissistic pathological liar. But they do..."

Despite three years of ongoing coverage, Pigdog's passel of eager Kim-spotting moles just won't let up. "Her occupation now is 'content provider'," the would-be informant notes. And if still more random information were needed, the forwarded page also includes a description of what suitors will find in the bedroom. "Not much, since I sleep in a closet. Not a friend's closet, my own closet, and it's a big closet, but it's a tight fit and with the bed in there you can't close the door."

Seattle's mysterious dance of love continues...

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

czech@pigdog.org


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