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Seattle Heart-Breaker Seeks Single Male...
2001-08-19 05:21:36


The Rollins-Shipley Crisis
 
I sense an excellent opportunity to get senselessly drunk.
-- Head-freezin' Gene

 

Is Kim Rollins playing the personals? "She's got an ad up at the Salon/Nerve personals," one Washington-based Pigdog reader claims.

Sure enough, the address provided by The Kim Rollins paparazzi leads to a romance-seeking Salon personal ad -- and it correctly identifies Kim's birthday. (She turned 32 Saturday!) If it is Seattle's favorite heart-breaking web diarist, she's now grappling with some long Seattle nights. In the ad, all four categories have been selected -- dating, serious relationship, friendship, and "play."

Er, play? "Select play if you're looking for some 'adult' fun," Salon explains.

Refusing to provide "your most humbling moment," the romance-seeker nonetheless exhibits a familiar self-deprecating wit -- e.g., when answering Salon's boiler-plate question, "The Celebrity I Resemble Most." "If I tell you that people have told me I look like Nicole Kidman and you meet me, and you don't think so, I come off looking like a narcissistic pathological liar. But they do..."

Despite three years of ongoing coverage, Pigdog's passel of eager Kim-spotting moles just won't let up. "Her occupation now is 'content provider'," the would-be informant notes. And if still more random information were needed, the forwarded page also includes a description of what suitors will find in the bedroom. "Not much, since I sleep in a closet. Not a friend's closet, my own closet, and it's a big closet, but it's a tight fit and with the bed in there you can't close the door."

Seattle's mysterious dance of love continues...

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

xandria@pigdog.org


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