Build Date: Wed Dec 24 04:00:13 2025 UTC
Walt Disney was profoundly EVIL.
-- Tjames Madison
A Long, Hot, Kim Rollins Summer
2001-06-17 12:47:45
She's skinny, she's sassy, and everyone's watching her. Today avid Pigdog Journal readers came forward with racy sightings of Seattle's favorite former web diarist.
Nearly three years after Miss Rollins closed her online journal, her presence lingers in the web-journaling community. "Right before my wedding, I dreamed that my fiance ran out just before the ceremony, and just so I wouldn't feel bad, Kim Rollins stepped up and agreed to marry me instead," reads one online post. Now unsolicited pointers flow into Pigdog's sekrit headquarters, leading scandal-hungry readers to Kim's past and current lovers.
As an appetizer, there's Kim's 49-item wishlist on Amazon.com. (Miss Rollins' summer reading list includes The Rotenberg Collection: Forbidden Erotica -- "already purchased" -- and I'm Okay, You're a Brat -- again, already purchased.) But more importantly for Pigdog Journal's ongoing Kim Rollins coverage, a helpful Pigdog reader has also specified which of the six Amazon users on Kim's "friends" list she's actually romanced....
Sure enough, link upon link, plus a search engine, leads to web pages where they're posting information about their adventures with Kim. "I was in love with Kim Rollins," writes a 35-year-old software engineer with a six-figure income, "like probably half the other geeks on the web still are." The Tivo employee, formerly at Apple, goes on to outline a typically-complicated Seattle-style relationship. ("She doesn't love me... It's my fault for breaking up with her.") The comments appear on a web page titled "Me Me Me" (mememe.htm)
Stray details from his journal entry in March of 2000 also include pointers to an online forum where Miss Rollins was sighted dispensing relationship advice. In 1998, Miss Rollins left her fiance and boyfriend of nine years for another man -- so she evidently couldn't resist weighing in last Spring when a poster complained about the way some people end their relationships. ("Don't ya just love it when they can't be bothered to tell you they're unhappy before they decide to leave?") Kim's lengthy reply is documented with everything from links to a 17th century poem, to a story from The Onion. ("Apartment Full Of Jesus Stuff Brings Date To Screeching Halt.") Below the personal statement are two additional responses offering Kim's unique perspective on past relationships. "The dead don't stink if they're promptly embalmed."
"I wish I had read that before I went out with her," the software engineer posts on his page.
So where is Kim now? Since early May, she's apparently been dating a 28-year-old ex-boyfriend of notorious web-journaler Karawynn. Karawynn had described him to Kim as "cuddly" -- "while holding her arms around her as if to describe some enormous girth on my part." The actually-not-so-cuddly reporter, formerly employed by Court TV, jokes that Karawynn's description made him sound like a hobbit.
Miss Rollins' new love interest comes complete with his own Wil Shipley-style facial hair, albeit with a Seattle faux-goatee. (Re-load this CGI script to see a meaningless montage of images.) Now he's become the latest participant in Seattle's mysterious dance of Love. "I've made many stupid mistakes, and come awfully close to fucking everything up," he reports in his web journal. (Does everyone in Seattle have a web journal?) "But it still seems to be working," he writes. For all the curious readers out there in web-land, here's how he's describing their current relationship.
"The hobbit is happy."
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
Raving over 30 doesn't have to be embarassing anymore. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
Juggler Vain attempts to wrestle with the issues around the KPFA shutdown; Big-time wrestling ensues. (More...)
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
