I love pornography. One of my biggest fears in life is that I'm gonna die and my parents are going to clean out my apartment and find that porno wing I've been adding onto for years. -- Bill Hicks
She's skinny, she's sassy, and everyone's watching her.
Today avid Pigdog Journal readers came forward with racy
sightings of Seattle's favorite former web diarist.
Nearly three years after Miss Rollins closed her online
journal, her presence lingers in the web-journaling community. "Right
before my wedding, I dreamed that my fiance ran out just before the ceremony,
and just so I wouldn't feel bad, Kim Rollins stepped up and agreed to marry me
instead," reads one online post. Now unsolicited pointers flow into Pigdog's sekrit
headquarters, leading scandal-hungry readers to Kim's past and current lovers.
As an appetizer, there's Kim's 49-item wishlist on Amazon.com. (Miss Rollins'
summer reading list includes The Rotenberg Collection: Forbidden Erotica
-- "already purchased" -- and I'm Okay, You're a Brat -- again, already
purchased.) But more importantly for Pigdog Journal's ongoing Kim Rollins
coverage, a helpful Pigdog reader has also specified which of the six Amazon
users on Kim's "friends" list she's actually romanced....
Sure enough, link upon link, plus a search engine, leads to web pages where
they're posting information about their adventures with Kim. "I was in love
with Kim Rollins," writes
a 35-year-old software engineer with a six-figure income, "like probably half
the other geeks on the web still are." The Tivo employee, formerly at Apple,
goes on to outline a typically-complicated Seattle-style
relationship. ("She doesn't love me... It's my fault for breaking up with
her.") The comments appear on a web page titled "Me Me Me" (mememe.htm)
Stray details from his journal entry in March of
2000 also include pointers to an online forum where Miss Rollins was sighted dispensing relationship advice. In 1998, Miss Rollins left her fiance and
boyfriend of nine years for another man -- so she evidently couldn't resist
weighing in last Spring when a poster complained about the way some people end their relationships. ("Don't
ya just love it when they can't be bothered to tell you they're unhappy before
they decide to leave?") Kim's lengthy reply is documented with everything from
links to a 17th century poem, to a story from The Onion. ("Apartment Full Of
Jesus Stuff Brings Date To Screeching Halt.") Below the personal statement
are two additional responses offering Kim's unique perspective on past
relationships. "The dead don't stink if they're promptly
embalmed."
"I wish I had read that before I went out with her," the software engineer
posts on his page.
So where is Kim now? Since early May, she's apparently been dating a
28-year-old ex-boyfriend of notorious web-journaler Karawynn.
Karawynn had described him to Kim as "cuddly" -- "while holding her arms around
her as if to describe some enormous girth on my part." The
actually-not-so-cuddly reporter, formerly employed by Court
TV, jokes that Karawynn's description made him sound like a hobbit.
Miss Rollins' new love interest comes complete with his own Wil Shipley-style
facial hair, albeit with a Seattle faux-goatee. (Re-load this CGI script to see a
meaningless montage of images.) Now he's become the latest participant in
Seattle's mysterious dance
of Love. "I've made many stupid mistakes, and come awfully close to fucking
everything up," he reports in
his web journal. (Does everyone in Seattle have a web journal?) "But it
still seems to be working," he writes. For all the curious readers out
there in web-land, here's how he's describing their current relationship.
