Build Date: Thu Jan 15 15:10:08 2026 UTC
GIVE UP. YOUR BODY IS DECOMPOSING AS YOU READ THIS MESSAGE. THE PROCESS IS IRREVERSIBLE!
-- Tjames Madison
A Long, Hot, Kim Rollins Summer
2001-06-17 12:47:45
She's skinny, she's sassy, and everyone's watching her. Today avid Pigdog Journal readers came forward with racy sightings of Seattle's favorite former web diarist.
Nearly three years after Miss Rollins closed her online journal, her presence lingers in the web-journaling community. "Right before my wedding, I dreamed that my fiance ran out just before the ceremony, and just so I wouldn't feel bad, Kim Rollins stepped up and agreed to marry me instead," reads one online post. Now unsolicited pointers flow into Pigdog's sekrit headquarters, leading scandal-hungry readers to Kim's past and current lovers.
As an appetizer, there's Kim's 49-item wishlist on Amazon.com. (Miss Rollins' summer reading list includes The Rotenberg Collection: Forbidden Erotica -- "already purchased" -- and I'm Okay, You're a Brat -- again, already purchased.) But more importantly for Pigdog Journal's ongoing Kim Rollins coverage, a helpful Pigdog reader has also specified which of the six Amazon users on Kim's "friends" list she's actually romanced....
Sure enough, link upon link, plus a search engine, leads to web pages where they're posting information about their adventures with Kim. "I was in love with Kim Rollins," writes a 35-year-old software engineer with a six-figure income, "like probably half the other geeks on the web still are." The Tivo employee, formerly at Apple, goes on to outline a typically-complicated Seattle-style relationship. ("She doesn't love me... It's my fault for breaking up with her.") The comments appear on a web page titled "Me Me Me" (mememe.htm)
Stray details from his journal entry in March of 2000 also include pointers to an online forum where Miss Rollins was sighted dispensing relationship advice. In 1998, Miss Rollins left her fiance and boyfriend of nine years for another man -- so she evidently couldn't resist weighing in last Spring when a poster complained about the way some people end their relationships. ("Don't ya just love it when they can't be bothered to tell you they're unhappy before they decide to leave?") Kim's lengthy reply is documented with everything from links to a 17th century poem, to a story from The Onion. ("Apartment Full Of Jesus Stuff Brings Date To Screeching Halt.") Below the personal statement are two additional responses offering Kim's unique perspective on past relationships. "The dead don't stink if they're promptly embalmed."
"I wish I had read that before I went out with her," the software engineer posts on his page.
So where is Kim now? Since early May, she's apparently been dating a 28-year-old ex-boyfriend of notorious web-journaler Karawynn. Karawynn had described him to Kim as "cuddly" -- "while holding her arms around her as if to describe some enormous girth on my part." The actually-not-so-cuddly reporter, formerly employed by Court TV, jokes that Karawynn's description made him sound like a hobbit.
Miss Rollins' new love interest comes complete with his own Wil Shipley-style facial hair, albeit with a Seattle faux-goatee. (Re-load this CGI script to see a meaningless montage of images.) Now he's become the latest participant in Seattle's mysterious dance of Love. "I've made many stupid mistakes, and come awfully close to fucking everything up," he reports in his web journal. (Does everyone in Seattle have a web journal?) "But it still seems to be working," he writes. For all the curious readers out there in web-land, here's how he's describing their current relationship.
"The hobbit is happy."

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)