Build Date: Thu Dec 4 22:30:06 2025 UTC
Don't condescend to me, frat boy.
-- Thom 'Starky' Stark
Sqrats Go Commercial Too Soon
1999-07-07 03:55:22
Just like it happened with the "chupacabra" (AKA: goat sucker), a designer/artist type is hawking a bunch of t-shirts and other items emblazoned with renditions of a cryptozoological enigma. This time it's the sqrat -- a creature purported to be half squirrel and half rat, having the temperament of a vicious attack dog.
On her new web site, www.scrat.com, The fashion designer, "Ivy Supersonic" -- known in New York City for parading naked people around in feathered hats -- claims to have trademarked the name "sqrat." But how can you trademark a new species of animal? She hawks sqrat hats and t-shirts. To promote it all, a few of her associates crashed the stage of a recent rock concert put on by New York City radio station K-ROCK, and pranced around with banners displaying the site's URL.
Even though it's nice to see the mystery of sqrats getting more attention, all in all, Ivy's sqrat site is pretty half-assed. It's just too early for weird fashion designers to cash in on this phenomenon, especially without devoting more energy to covering reports of sightings, or doing any cryptozoology at all.
Furthermore, the sqrat logo looks more like a beaver than a sqrat (back to the drawing board, please).
To her credit, she does have a couple of short articles about sqrats including, "Does the Sqrat(tm) Really Exist? Mutant Strain Combination Could be Loose in New York City," but what she should do is provide a forum for researchers and interested parties to communicate about sqrats, and inform the web-surfing public with as much data about the enigmatic creatures as possible. That's the kind of sqrat site the world needs. Nobody would mind if she sold a few hats and t-shirts along the way; and I'm sure she would sell tons of them, and maybe some of her feathered hats too. But this business of trademarking the word "sqrat" is simply naked greed.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
Raving over 30 doesn't have to be embarassing anymore. (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
