Build Date: Sat May 18 05:50:21 2024 UTC
Beer is the best part of using a computer.
-- Mr. Bad
Canadia Rocks
Useful tips when visiting Canadia:
- Canada has two official languages: English and French. If you meet a Canadian who just speaks French, try speaking English with a French accent -- they'll understand what you're saying just fine.
- "Eh?" is a verb. If you try to use "eh?" as a noun, people will look at you funny.
- Cuban cigars are tasty. Yes, those really are Cuban cigars behind the counter at the convienence store. To date, there are no known instances where not buying cigars from a country has caused a dictator to fall from power, so buy some and smoke 'em.
- Need a new liver? Go to Canadia. Health care is free, and they don't check ID. Just be warned: The liver you get may have processed more alcohol than the urinals at Yankee Stadium.
*Canadia is the proper spelling for a country where the people call themselves "Canadians". If the country's name was spelled "Canada," then the people there would call themselves "Canadans." Since they call themselves "Canadians", it's only reasonable to spell the name of their country "Canadia." After all, people from Germany don't call themselves "Germanians" do they?
In fact, chances are that you found this web page because you typed "Canadia" into a search engine. Subconsciously you already believe that the country to the north of the United States should be called Canadia. Thank you for seeing things our way.
Pigdog Journal Articles
2004-11-16
The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation is having a contest to nominate the 100 GREATEST CANADIANS OF ALL TIME. In at #3 is Don Cherry, a hockey announcer. Is this really the best that Canada can come up with?
2002-07-19
Up in the Great White North that is British Columbia, Canadia, one lonely man decided that the local women just weren't to his liking, so he dressed up his dogs in women's underwear and fucked them instead. What's really got Canadian authorities irked though, is the fact that the dogs ended up dead in the process.
2001-03-30
About a month ago I received some SPAM from a "friend" which contained an "inspiring message." The message was a tract titled America, the Good Neighbor and it was written and broadcast by a Canadian radio journalist. The tract went on at length about how great Americans are and how Americans get bashed far too often by nasty foreigners, especially Canadians. I immediately suspected that it was some sort of sneaky Canadian trickery, and after a small amount of research I found out that's exactly what it was.
2000-06-03
Pigdog journal scoops every old media source on the planet YET AGAIN. Pigdog reported rumors heard from sources close to Microsoft (over a MONTH ago) that the software behemoth might just move to Canadia. (Microsoft to Move to Canadia? 04/29/2000 by Baron Earl) Now old media sources are climbing aboard the Pigdog bandwagon, jumping on the story like a swarm of rabid maggots on a pile of rotting meat.
2000-04-29
In an exclusive interview with the Pigdog Journal, a former Microsoft employee divulged that to avoid a break-up of Microsoft, Bill Gates may just move the entire company, buildings, employees, and all, to Canadia*<.sup>.
Offsite links shared by staff writers
T O P S T O R I E S
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Experimenter is a film released in 2015 starring Peter Sarsgaard. It tells the story of Dr. Stanley Milgram's life, including the infamous Milgram electric shock experiment, tests on crowds, and his work developing a theory on the mechanics of social networks. It currently streams on Netflix. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill! (More...)
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
