Build Date: Thu May 1 02:30:45 2025 UTC
We are not interesting people when sober, believe me.
-- Mr. Bad
Star Twin SPECTACULAR
2000-03-31 17:43:01
Boo-zho-lay for you, Pigdog reader! Another fine Spocktail of the week is available for you. And this week's offering is EXTRA special and fancy, since it celebrates the birthday of Pigdog's own STAR TWINS!
Our newest Spocktail is a drink that evinces class, style, and sophistication in a delicious medley of flavors and colors. The delectable creation celebrates Pigdog's own STAR TWINS, the mystical dynamic duo of Ms. Bunnypenny and the Mysterious M.L.E.. Chosen from BIRTH to walk the same Path of Fate, the Star Twins are kind of a combination of Starsky and Hutch meet Audrey Hepburn, Julie Newmar meets Kung-Fu Grip GI Joe, Princess Grace in a bloody battle with the Dirty Dozen.
The STAR TWIN SPECTACULAR was created as an homage to the pair by gourmet chef Paolo Giorgio at his world-famous restaurant Sellarre in the Old Town section of Nice. Giorgio had been having financial troubles stemming from an over-fondness for bear-fight gambling and a poor ability to judge potential victors. When he complained bitterly to the Star Twins at a yacht party in Lexington KY during Derby Week, they offered to perform their rarely-seen piano torchsinger duet in his restaurant to raise capital.
At a $10,000/plate dinner in Sellare later that month attended by among others the King of Jordan, Dennis Hopper and Ilona "Ciccolina" Staller, the guests were held spellbound at the sight of Ms. B. and MLE in full-length sequined gowns belting out show tunes and performing acts of acrobatics seldom seen outside of the Chinese circus. As a finale, Bunny ground Princess Caroline of Monaco's $30,000 black pearl necklace into a fine powder and drank it from a gallon jug of Giorgio's newly-invented cocktail.
As the applause rang out, Giorgio christened the drink as the "Star Twin Spectacular" and fell to his knees in gratitude for saving his business and his life. The Star Twins, of course, ruffled his hair and sauntered off for the midnight diving on the Cote.
Black pearls are hard to come by, so enjoy this recipe for the slightly-amended Star Twin Spectacular in the comfort of your own home. Raise a glass for them tonight, because elegance and adventure are only a spocktail away!
Star Twin Spectacular
Ingredients:
- 4 oz. High-quality shom-pan-yah
- 1 oz. Tangerine juice
- 1/2 oz. Ketel One vodka
Directions:
Chill shom-pan-yah to the perfect 42 degrees. Do not use cheap-o skullcrack shom-pan-yah! A Star Twin can detect deception and will kill you instantly. Pour into fluted glass. Add tangerine juice and vodka. Serve immediately with powdered stimulant.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Owner of 6 Medical Marijuana Dispensaries Arrested
Reefer madness or a government fabrication? (More...)
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
