Gluttony, family infighting, and monumental sloth -- these are all traditional Thanksgiving values that the cyberbillies of Spock Mountain Research Labs hold dear to our hearts. We hope you, too, will share these heartwarming cyberbilly Thanksgiving traditions. Think of it as Martha Stewart gone horribly, horribly wrong.
Genetically-enhanced Cy-bur-Turkee (TM) with multi-faceted insect
eyes, 8 drumsticks/tentacles and a built-in video screen to see if the
stuffing's cooked
Sqrat races
Watching 8 hours of Hillbilly Robot MegaFootball on the wide-screen
hologram TV
pumpkin-flavored martinis
Bonghits in the bathroom with your cousins just before
dinner
Emailing virus-laden "Hapy Thanksgiving!" animations to clueless
Windows users
Toasting marshmallows on the Tesla coil
Squash lager
Sam Donaldson's Thanksgiving Sing-A-Long Holiday Banjo album
Sweet potatoes glazed with molasses and trucker speed
Ritual vomiting-for-distance onto cloying Norman Rockwell prints
Listening to Uncle Jake's drunken rambling stories about eating 30 lbs. of
raw bear meat on Thanksgiving of '08
Pilgrims-and-Indians porn
Mashed Spock-a-tatoes and Hyperwhiskey gravy
The traditional cyberbilly grace prayer: "Good food/Good meat/Good
God/It's MOVING!!! That damn thing's STILL ALIVE! Boys, get my
LASER RIFLE, and QUICK!"
